How I changed myself…

In a previous post, I wrote about my first awakening experience and explained how this initial ‘waking up’ can be a little taster to whet your appetite for the fully awakened life.  However, before we reach this enlightened state, we often have to undergo a transitional period during which we strip back the layers of social conditioning and defensive walls, heal the emotional and psychological wounds and clear away the emotional and spiritual blockages which living a false life has created.

In some ways, the word ‘change’ is a misnomer – I prefer to think of this time as an alchemical process, where all the past stuff is transformed into gold, with all the garbage dealt with and disposed of and only the wisdom remaining. It’s also a time when we declutter ourselves and our lives to reveal what was within us all along -  that golden nugget which is our authentic core self.

My first counselling experience, as referred to in the ‘How I woke up’ post, had a dramatic impact on my life. Through this work:

* I realised how much my past was impinging on my present.

* I began to look for answers within rather than without.

* I finally got a glimpse of the real me, beyond what society or other external influences expected of me, and to be true to this real self.

* material stuff didn’t matter to me anymore and I felt a great urge to get rid of most of my possessions and live as simply as possible.

* being ‘of service’ felt like the most important thing to me and I felt strongly that this was connected in some way to my writing.

All this occurred in 1995 and I felt sure that this was how my life would be from this point onwards. Indeed, these basic principles still form the basis of my life philosophy and I feel they are the cornerstones of the awakened life. However it was early days for my authentic self, and though I’d had a glimpse of life through awakened eyes, it turned out there was still a lot of work to do before this authentic self could be fully realised.

Over the next decade and a half, I’ve worked really hard on my personal and spiritual growth and though it’s been really tough at times, I’ve learned a lot, particularly thanks to my decision to train as a counsellor and through becoming a parent.  I’ve also read a lot of books, spent a lot of time writing journals and spent months having personal counselling to help me deal with issues which were just too great to work through by myself.

Below is a list of many of the lessons I’ve  learned, in no particular order, and the changes I’ve made – as I said, I’ve learned a lot and I’m sure there are some things I’ve missed out but here are the ones I can think of right now:

* I gained a much clearer insight into my motives and the motives of others.

* I reframed negative past events and, after learning the important lessons those experiences had to teach me, was finally able to make peace with them and let them go.

* I learned a lot about how I relate to others including how to be assertive rather than passive or aggressive, and how to establish healthy personal boundaries.

* I learned how to reparent myself and love my inner child whilst simultaneously silencing  my inner critical parent.

* I learned not to be a victim and not to take everything personally – it’s not always about you!

* I learned that sometimes we have to sit with the bad stuff for a while and that instant gratification is not the key to long term contentment – short term pain really can lead to long term gain.

* through my relationship with my child, I learned the value of commitment – that if you ride out the bad times, the good times often just keep on getting better.

* I also learned that if we’ve had a bad day and take it out on our loved ones, it’s important to let them know that the fault lies with you and not them, otherwise you may negatively affect their self-image (not doing so is a form of emotional abuse).

* through my bad relationships, I learned a lot about what I DON’T want from my life and the people I share it with; that I have no time for games and just want straightforward communication, and that the only people I want around me are people who enhance my life, not those who are detrimental to it.

* I learned that everything I really need, I can give to myself if necessary.

* I learned the value of solitude and independence.

* I also learned the value of true friendship and support and that when you find this, you should treasure it as it’s very rare.

* I realised that capitalism and its propaganda machine, the media, are influencing and damaging our world and that consumerism is not the gateway to happiness and fulfilment.

* I learned that putting one’s self first is not always a bad thing if one ascribes to the right values – that the sum of the parts makes the whole and if all the parts are healthy, emotionally and spiritually, ergo the whole will be the same – and that is NOT the same as ‘selfishness’, enhancing one’s own wellbeing at the expense of others.

* I learned that we only have the present and that living in the past or hankering for a better future means we miss an awful lot of good stuff on the journey (though it’s wise to be in the present with a nod to the past and the wisdom gained from this, and an eye on the road ahead, being aware of opportunities and possible potholes).

* I learned that there are really only two states, love and fear, and that all the ills of the world come through fear in some form or other.

* I learned that embracing your shadow rather than denying it makes you more of a person, not less.

* I learned that there’s no such thing as a negative emotion – all emotions have a message for us – and whether or not the outcome is negative depends on how you express that emotion.

* I learned that true beauty is within and not necessarily without.

* I learned that you will never find contentment unless you are true to yourself.

* I learned that a great philosophy for life is ‘keep it simple’

* I learned that pretty much most of what society tell you is the way to live is wrong and that most of what we are meant to aspire to is a trap to keep you stuck in the rat race and keep you lining the nests of those at the top of the tree.

* I learned that self-responsibility is the key to holistic healing – to achieve healing, only you can do the work. Others can offer you guidance but the real work is down to you.

*I learned about my Highly Sensitive nature and how I have a gift for empathy, an awareness which has allowed me to take care of myself and use my traits in a positive way, rather than chastising myself for not being able to be out there in the world and deal with life in the same way as non-HSPs/empaths.

* I learned to listen to my intuition and follow the ‘nudges’ that the universe gives me through signs, symbols, dreams and synchronicities.

* I learned about energy and how Universal energy connects us all and how powerful a resource this can be if we learn to utilise it properly.

* I learned that sometimes you just have to let go and hand over whatever you’re going through to the Universe or whatever Higher Power you believe in.

* I also learned that although you’ll still go through difficult times, once you’ve found and strengthened  your authentic  core self, it becomes so much harder for life to knock you off your feet (even though you may find yourself wobbling precariously for a while).

So as you can see, my awakening has prompted a lot of personal change and made a huge difference to my life. I now know who I am and what I want and need, and I’ve healed and unblocked a lot of emotional, psychological and spiritual baggage, making me a clearer channel for Universal energy and increasing my empathic connection with the world.

Of course, personal and spiritual growth is a lifelong adventure and I’m still learning – currently I’m working through ongoing issues related to my most intimate relationships and am wrestling with the concept of money as an energy, something which many people who follow a spiritual path struggle with. But my reconnection with my authentic self means that I never feel that existential despair which used to dog me and even when things are tough, life never feels meaningless as my purpose is now so very clear.

In my next post, I’ll share with you how all this personal change has led me to my life purpose and what I’m doing in my own small way to help change the world. In the meantime, do please share your awakening and personal transformation stories with me in the comments below.

How I woke up…

In my previous post, I shared the philosophy which forms the basis of this site and my work. For my next three posts, I’m going to share with you my own experience of the awakening process and the changes which this has brought to my life, to demonstrate how this works in practice and also perhaps to demonstrate that I practise what I preach! I would love to hear your personal awakening stories so feel free to leave a comment or contact me via the link in the right hand corner of the screen.

Growing up as a HSP (highly sensitive person) and empath in a culture which frowned upon any emotional display was a traumatic, confusing and demoralising experience. Any expression of anger, sadness, fear or indeed, any emotion construed as ‘negative’ (however justified that emotional reaction may have been) was immediately stamped on and derided. Being an empath, I also had the problem of picking up on everyone else’s repressed emotions yet had no outlet for this maelstrom of feelings which conspired to make my inner life very intense and distressing (and later resulted in some very unhealthy acting-out).

As an extremely bright child, there was also huge pressure on me to conform to a particular life path – stay on at school and get good A levels, go to university and get a 1st class degree then have a financially successful career. Taking time out to explore the world and find myself after school – something which I desperately needed to do – wasn’t even an option.

Consequently by the time I reached adulthood, I was stumbling around in the dark with no idea of who I really was or what I really wanted or needed. Years of repression and suppression meant that I’d completely lost sight of my authentic self. I can remember looking at my wardrobe full of clothes – none of which were of the same style and all of which were trying to convey a particular image – and wondering ‘which of these outfits is really me?’. I tried different careers and different courses, moved house several times and lived in different cities, made new friends and started new relationships but nothing seemed to fill that gap where my authentic self should have been.

I continued struggling to follow a path which had been prescribed for me by other people and society’s expectations and had very little to do with who I really was until finally, in April 1995, everything changed. Though it felt like some kind of wondrous miracle had occurred, with hindsight I was able to recognise the series of encounters, opportunities and synchronicities which lead to my awakening at this time:

* I’d tried every possible way to make the path I was on work but it simply wouldn’t gel for me. By April 1995, I’d literally reached the end of the line and was primed and ready for a momentous change.

* In the previous couple of months, I’d encountered a rather enigmatic character who came into my life for a very short time and vanished almost as quickly as he arrived. He was something of a free spirit who lived on a combination of his wits and his creativity, and he inspired me to start thinking outside the box and recognise that there was another way beyond the one I’d been programmed to believe was the only route.

* On 10 April 1995, I lost my job. This was an early instance of manifestation for me – it was a beautiful sunny day which felt to me like the first day of summer, and as I walked to work, I wished with all my heart that I didn’t have to go and waste my day doing that dreadful job. Half an hour later, I was walking back home, having been laid off the minute I arrived.

* Having manifested this opportunity, I now began to contemplate taking a break from the rat-race to explore the other options that were out there. However I was nervous about stepping off the path – I’d been indoctrinated to believe that the path I was on was the only one to follow and that any other choice would be foolhardy. I was also concerned about what I would do for money without a regular wage. About a week after I’d lost my job, I’d arranged to see an old schoolfriend. This friend lived a life which seemed anathema to me, stuck in a dull marriage and a dull job, and the thought of ending up in the same position as her, however safe it might be, filled me with horror. In a wonderful piece of synchronicity, this friend arrived on my doorstep at the exact same time as the post arrived – with a completely unexpected prize cheque for £100 from a premium bond gifted to me by my grandfather 25 years earlier. The message to me seemed loud and clear – the universe was letting me know that if I took the plunge and diverged from the safe but dull path (the one which my friend was trapped on), the money would come.

* The day I lost my job, I met a man who had just moved into a house across the road from me. I ended up dating him for a while and he introduced me to the world of spirituality, which until that point, I had rejected in favour of what I believed was a more ‘realistic’ view of life. I began to realise that there was more to spirituality than organised religion and eagerly began to explore this new world which had just opened up before me.

* Even though I knew I didn’t want to take yet another ‘crap job’, I still wasn’t sure what it was I actually wanted to do. To remedy this, I signed up for counselling at a local employment and learning advice centre. Though I initially attended because I felt that I was at a crossroads in terms of my career, the experience was far more intense and in depth than I imagined it would be and turned out to be the first step on a lifelong personal development journey which would completely transform my life.

The counselling helped me to recognise that what I really wanted to do was write so I decided to take a sabbatical from the rat-race and spend a few months working on a novel. The experience was a revelation – I had never felt so fulfilled and so free. And that summer, somthing truly amazing happened. For the first time in my life, I had a strong sense of inner peace which ran alongside an equally strong feeling of being ‘at one with the universe’. People who met me at that time told me that I literally glowed – my inner radiance was literally flowing from me – and I effortlessly drew people of all ages to me wherever I went.

I also remember feeling really comfortable in my own skin – the only words I can find to describe it is a ‘humble confidence’. Though I felt confident about myself, it felt different to an ego-driven confidence and I now recognise that it was because this confidence emanated from the depths of my soul.

The other really strong – and at that time, completely unfamiliar – feeling I remember having was a complete loss of fear. Nothing fazed me anymore, not even the thought of death. In fact, I couldn’t understand why anyone would be scared of death as I knew without a doubt that it wasn’t the end of everything, but that we simply moved on to another plane.

I wrote in my previous post that I belive that often we’re given a taste of the awakened life to show us how life could look if we were free from our baggage, whether it’s the stuff imposed upon us via our environment or stuff we’ve amassed ourselves. This initial awakening experience is just the beginning and in my next post, I’ll share with you the transformational process which awakening triggered and which proved to be a bumpier – and ultimately more enlightening – ride than I would ever have expected.

Have you experienced an awakening? If you’d like to share your story with myself and others or have any questions about the process, please leave a comment below.

How to live with an Empath (hint: mini-golf NOT essential)

Recently some lovely people kindly recommended some of my articles on StumbleUpon which has been great news for my viewing figures, so many thanks, whoever you are Anyway, this prompted me to check out other ‘empath’ articles recommended on StumbleUpon and in doing so, I found the article about living with an empath which I’ve reproduced below. I thought it was quite a sweet little piece so I forwarded the link to my partner, Lawrence… and thought no more about it until later that day when he sat beside me on the sofa, took hold of my hands, looked into my eyes and said ‘Don’t make any plans for Saturday, I’ve made us an appointment.’ ‘Ooh really?’ I said, intrigued.’What are we going to do?’ ‘Mini-golf…’

Anyway, all joking aside, this is a great article for those of you who share your life with an empath (though do bear in mind that if you offer to take your empath for a game of mini-golf you may receive a less than empathic response). And check out StumbleUpon for lots more links to a huge variety of interesting articles.

How to live with an Empath

by Lauralyn Harter

Empaths aren’t always the easiest to live with but are such loving, caring and wonderful people you just can’t help but fall in love with them. Here are some tips for you so you feel the support you need.

1) Be loyal. Loyalty is important to empaths because they often feel misunderstood or under attack. Even if it’s not a literal attack, it’s an attack of energy around them. Standing up for them if someone calls them extra sensitive means the world to them. If others say your partner is too sensitive tell them that your partner has a gift and it’s an amazing one at that.

2) Be patient. There may be times when you feel you just can’t deal with your partner’s sensitivities if they picked up some nasty energy during the day that now needs to be cleared. Never take a change in moods personally. You know it’s not them, it’s the energy they picked up.

3) Give them time and space to clear. Your partner may need time alone to clear the energy. This doesn’t mean they don’t love you or want to be there with you. It’s just something they need to do to feel themselves again, the person that you love.

4) Empaths can take life way too seriously. Help them lighten up and have fun. Take them to playful places like Disneyland or mini golf. Empaths are so much fun when they’re surrounded by joyful, happy energy!

5) Dote on their specialness. Empaths tend to feel alone and like no one understands what they go through. A simple trip to a busy mall can leave them feeling wired, overwhelmed and can even lead to an anxiety attack. Sometimes they wish they were “normal” and weren’t so super sensitive. Let them know how special you feel their sensitivity is. Share with them how it’s helped you.

6) Recognize their strengths and support what they need to feel strong. Encourage them to follow their heart and trust their feelings. Ask them what they feel about a situation. Empaths love this! Encourage them to take good care of themselves.

7) Be a good friend and listener. Empaths need to vent and self-express. If you lose interest in what they’re saying they may react overly upset. Surprised? They’re sensitive! Be honest with them if you’re too distracted to listen. They respect honesty but don’t like feeling neglected or ignored. After all, it’s not like they can ignore anything around them when they’re actually feeling it!

8 ) Set realistic expectations. If you live with an empath, be prepared for them to be sensitive to loud noises so sports games can irritate their sensitive ears. Don’t expect them to watch action or horror films unless you want to totally traumatize them. Don’t pressure them to go to places where there’s a lot of energy, like stadiums, arenas or big malls if they’re not feeling up to it. It can feel too overwhelming and actually affect their sensitive nervous system.

9) Do plan fun one-on-one time. Romantic vacations with gentle, relaxing activities are great for empaths as they love spending one-on-one time with you, away from the other distracting energies. Small gatherings with friends and family are also ideal.

10) There are many benefits to living with an empath. You will receive their undivided attention. They will be sensitive to your needs and your stresses. They can be really understanding and supportive. They are very loving and loyal. And you won’t need to explain too much when something is bothering you – trust me, they’ll feel your pain!

Burnout Pt.3: Prevention and Cure

In the final part of our series on burnout, we explore some of the methods you can employ if you have recognised yourself in parts one and two, and feel that you may be suffering from this syndrome.

In order to recover from burnout, it’s important for you to commit fully to healing. There is no instant cure and you need to be aware that the healing process will take some time, depending on how far down the burnout path you’ve travelled. Clearly, the sooner you are able to spot these symptoms developing, the sooner you can turn your life and your general wellbeing around.

Be selfish!

This is the first and possibly the most important message to take on board if you are suffering from burnout. A good analogy is the advice given to parents during air travel, to put the oxygen mask on themselves first in an emergency so that they are then in the best position to help their child. In the same way, it’s vital for you to realise that you will not be fit to take care of anyone unless you first take care of yourself. So until you have recovered, it’s time to put you first for a change, beginning with your physical wellbeing.

Rest

In our busy and stressful society, so many of us believe it’s acceptable to operate on five or six hours sleep. However, if you are showing early signs of burnout, then it’s important to commit to getting a minimum of eight hours sleep a night and preferably at least 10. Going to bed early may feel like a drag, but is surely preferable to the alternative of running yourself so far into the ground that you’re unable to get out of bed at all.

Relaxation

Though it’s healthy to spend some of your leisure time enjoying your hobbies and pastimes, it’s also vital that you make time to practise specific relaxation techniques, such as meditation. Meditation doesn’t have to be complicated – try this simple breathing exercise. Take long slow breaths in and out, focusing solely on your breathing and saying silently to yourself  ‘in-two-three-four’ on the in breath, and ‘out-two-three-four’ on the out breath.

You could also try this simple relaxation exercise. Work your way down your body from head to toe, focussing on each body part. Tense that part for a few seconds, then release all the tension until it is completely relaxed, before moving onto the next part. You’ll probably be surprised at how much tension you’re already holding in your body.

Complementary therapies can also be very effective – I’ve found reflexology and reiki to be particularly beneficial. Massage of any kind, be it Indian Head massage, Swedish massage or aromatherapy with oils is also a wonderful way to relax and will help release any knots in those tense muscles.

Nourishment

When we’re heading towards burnout, we often find our diet suffers as we snack on fast foods or overdo the stimulants in an attempt to boost our energy levels. However our body is crying out for nourishment, so the best thing you can do for yourself is to give in to its demands. The best nutrition you can give your body at this time is vegetables, protein and unprocessed foods, as well as fibrous foods and healthy carbohydrates such as jacket potatoes, wholemeal bread and pasta and brown rice. Warm foods such as nutritious soups and stews are ideal in the winter months and salads are great for the summer.

You can also supplement your diet with a select range of vitamins and minerals. Particularly good ones are: multivitamins, B vitamins (especially B12), vitamin C, vitamin D, magnesium, calcium and zinc. Omega 3, co-enzymes and amino acids such as lysine are also good and a DHEA supplement (DHEA is a hormone produced by the adrenal glands) can also be beneficial. However, if you take prescribed medication, do consult your doctor first before taking any of these supplements.

As well as considering what we do ingest, it’s also worth being more vigilant about what we don’t. Sugar, salt and fats should be limited, and it’s best to avoid caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and recreational drugs whilst suffering from burnout.

Exercise

As mentioned in part two, too much exercise can be counterproductive, particularly if you’re already on the path to burnout. The key is gentle exercise – a short walk everyday or a few light chores would be more than adequate at this stage, beginning with maybe five minutes a day and increasing the time as your energy levels rise.

Back to nature

You can of course combine this with your daily exercise, particularly if you live in a rural area – a walk outside every day will do you the power of good. Alternatively, if you live or work in a more urban setting, a lunchtime stroll through a park can be just as effective.

Being out in the sunshine also helps, though I am aware that we don’t see much of that in the UK! However the best time of day to be outdoors in the colder months is still around midday, so that lunchtime stroll is well worth the effort.

Another positive thing you can do for yourself is to take a break in nature – perhaps an afternoon in the countryside or by the sea, relaxing in the natural world away from the hurly burly of modern life.

Time Management

Burnt out people often have way too much on their plate, so basic time management skills can really make a difference in your life. You could try: making lists to organise your time more effectively; delegating, by passing on some of your tasks to others (too many burnt out people are perfectionists who erroneously believe that no-one else can manage to do the job quite as effectively as they can); and taking regular breaks, e.g. for every hour of work, take a 10-15 minute break.

Eliminate EMFs

As mentioned in part two, and in particular for highly sensitive people, EMFS (as well as other forms of geopathic stress) can be a huge issue when it comes to burn out. If you feel these are affecting your health, try some of the following: turn off and unplug appliances when not in use; minimise computer and mobile phone usage; switch to an analogue phone (cordless ones are available); and if you live near mobile phone masts or pylons, consider moving if at all possible. (You can read more about this and about the effects of geopathic stress in the book You Can Heal Yourself: Bio-Energy and the Power of Self-Healing by Seka Nikolic.)

Find support

As we saw in part two, negative relationships of any kind can contribute to burnout. Shun those energy vampires and naysayers and spend some time with positive and supportive people who appreciate you. It can be tempting to withdraw from others when you’re burnt out, and whilst time spent alone can be beneficial (see my article on solitude), when you’re feeling low, you can easily lose perspective and become overly critical of yourself. Sharing a cuppa with a true friend can help you bring much needed clarity and levity into your life.

Dump your baggage

Whether it’s emotional, psychological, mental or physical baggage, clearing out the stuff in your life which is holding you back and dragging you down is always a positive move and extremely revitalising. For more on this, check out my articles on de-cluttering here and learn how to let go of those unwanted elements which belong firmly in the past.

Personal Development

Burning out can be the precursor to a time of positive transformation in our lives. One of the ways that we can facilitate this is by focussing on our personal development and learning new, more functional ways of being. Perhaps a lack of assertiveness has been an issue for you or maybe you’ve struggled with low self esteem. Take the time to explore who you really are and find out what you need to grow and transform yourself in a positive way. Reading through some of the entries in this blog could be a good place to start and there are many other resources similar to this which can be found across the internet and in libraries.

Learn the lesson

Finally, as I mentioned in part two, look for the lesson which your burnout is trying to teach you. Regaining your physical wellbeing, freeing yourself of your baggage, discovering your authentic self through personal development work and making the most of your supportive friends are all positive steps towards transforming your life by clearing the way for the voice of your intuition. By listening to this voice we can find out what it is our soul really needs and make our way back to our true path and our life purpose.

 

I hope this brief overview of burnout has been useful to you. If you feel you are suffering from burnout or possibly heading that way, or simply want some guidance on your personal development and finding your authentic self and your life purpose, then please contact me via the main website and book yourself an Empathic Guidance session for a one-to-one consultation with me.

Burnout Pt.2: The Causes – and why it may be a blessing in disguise

In part one, I described some of the many symptoms of burnout. In the second part of this article, I look at why burnout is not necessarily a bad thing and list some of the causes of this increasingly common syndrome.

Firstly, however, we will briefly discuss the possible physical cause of burnout. It is usually attributed to a malfunction of the autonomic nervous system and the adrenal glands. The autonomic nervous system is a combination of nerves, connections and glands which works in conjunction with practically every other system in our body. All of our body’s regular activities are performed by this system, such as breathing, digestion and so on, and it is this system which acts as the body’s thermostat,  ensuring that it adapts accordingly to external forces – for example, adjusting your breathing and heart rate if you walk up a hill.

Your body can also interpret your external environment using the five senses – sight, sound etc. These perceptions are then transmitted through the brain, which ensures that the appropriate response is activated by the nervous system.

Problems begin when the part of the brain which controls the ‘fight or flight’ stress mechanism starts firing at an abnormally high rate. This can occur when we overanalyse potential danger and perceive threats where in fact there are none, or suffer stressful events which feel like danger because they threaten our sense of self or wellbeing. The adrenal glands begin releasing hormones such as cortisol to deal with the stress, but if this stress is overwhelming then too many of these hormones are produced, swamping the nervous system. This results in autonomic overload, as well as depleting the adrenals, leading to adrenal burnout – and resulting, ultimately, in the symptoms described in part one. (You can read more about this in Coping with a Stressed Nervous System by Dr Kenneth Hambly and Alice Muir.)

Of course, if you are a HSP (highly sensitive person) or an empath, then you will have been born with a nervous system which is already hypersensitive to external stimuli, making you more susceptible to burnout than others with a less sensitive system. This is why HSPs and empaths need to practise self-care a good deal more diligently than most. However, even if you were not born with a sensitive nervous system, you may find yourself becoming increasingly sensitised if you have had a particularly stressful or traumatic life.

As we have seen from the symptoms, burnout can be extremely distressing. However surprisingly, there is a positive aspect to burnout. It can be viewed as a transformative event in our lives – a turning point, a wake-up call and a cry from the soul. Somewhere deep within the heart of us, the barely discernible voice of our intuition is trying to inform us of what our soul really needs and put us in touch with our authentic self. If we listen to this voice then we can transform our lives immeasurably – but if we fail to heed the warning, then the outcome could potentially be fatal. (Viewed in this more positive way, it is also then no coincidence that the symptoms of burnout are so reminiscent of the symptoms of awakening.)

Dr Dina Glouberman talks about this in more detail in her book, The Joy of Burnout: How the End of the World Can Be a New Beginning:

The area in which we eventually burn out, whether at work, with our children or parents, in an intimate partnership, in a social or political group or elsewhere, has two defining characteristics. It is where:

* We invest our creativity, our passion, our heart and/or our ability to contribute.

* We earn a sense of identity, value, belonging, purpose and/or meaning.

As long as the situation we are devoted to is working and our contribution is effective, appreciated or rewarded, we remain wholehearted. Our energy is high and vibrant and our life probably seems positive and successful both to others and to ourselves. But if anything upsets this picture, we become candidates for burnout.

At some point, something changes either in us or in our situation or in the relationship between the two. Our heart goes out of our situation. There is a dawning awareness, often hardly conscious, that there must be another way, that it can’t be right to continue as we are.

Some of us listen to this feeling and make significant changes in our lives – a new job, a new relationship, or a new approach to our old job or relationship. In this way, we stop ourselves from continuing on the burnout trail.

But those of us who keep going, denying everything that contradicts the path we are on, are likely to head for a major burnout. Driven by fear of losing what we had rather than positive intention, we are no longer in a flow with ourselves or with our lives. We cut off from our bodies, our feelings, sometimes our friends and family. We become divided against ourselves. Our head, heart and soul are not in alignment. We operate like a car with the accelerator and the brake working at the same time and the tank down to empty.

 

So what kind of scenarios, experiences, traits and behaviours can lead to burnout? Here are some examples:

Trauma

If you suffer from one or more traumas in your life, then you are increasingly at risk of burnout. Initially we can feel that we have handled the trauma well, but find ourselves burning out further down the line when our life seems to have settled down again, as the effects on our nervous system catch up with us.

 

The ‘drip-drip-drip’ effect

Often it is not one major trauma but a series of minor stresses, disappointments and frustrations which can slowly drive us to burnout. Several years ago, I moved house and for six months, found myself plagued with petty problems which involved me making numerous phone calls to a variety of call centres. Anyone who has ever had to ring one of these places will know how frustrating it can be, particularly when the issue you are trying to resolve requires you to call back again and again and again, due to the company’s incompetence. If you’re a sensitive, you probably also know how difficult it can be to make these calls, particularly when you’re already under stress. Needless to say, after six months of dealing with this on almost a daily basis, I was on the verge of complete burnout.

 

Lifestyle

If your lifestyle leads you to neglect your self-care, and you’re not getting enough sleep, not eating or exercising properly and are using stimulants to keep yourself going, then you’re going to be much less able to cope with the issues life throws at you. Living a fast-paced, high-stress and/or fear-based lifestyle is also a sure recipe for burnout. You can also burn out from too much exercise – after a very stressful period resulting in several warning signs such as fatigue, weight gain and emotional problems, Louise embarked on an intensive training regime to try and boost her health. Unfortunately this was the last straw as far as her body was concerned, and the excessive exertion hastened Louise’s decline into severe burnout.

 

Work issues

Overworking and perfectionism, or alternatively job dissatisfaction and lack of challenge can ultimately lead to burnout symptoms. Everyone has heard of the phenomenon of the business man who, when he finally takes a holiday, immediately falls ill. And working day after day in a job which fails to challenge you in anyway is simply soul destroying. Our society is increasingly economically focussed, and sadly this seems to be at the expense of our wellbeing. If you don’t have a sensible work-rest balance or if you are doing a job you hate simply for the money, then you’re a high-risk candidate for burnout.

 

Feeling unappreciated or unrecognised for your efforts

This can be in any relationship, whether business or personal. Joanne is a busy mum of four, who also runs her own business and is studying at college. Already finding herself feeling increasingly tearful, she finally broke down when faced with her teenage daughters’ filthy bedroom. Her frustration and disappointment at the constant lack of respect and appreciation shown by her family for her efforts at keeping the home and family life running smoothly became too overwhelming and Joanne was in great danger of burning out.

 

Lack of social support

Even when we lead busy lives and are constantly surrounded by people, we can feel unsupported and isolated. On the path to burnout, it can feel as if no-one understands us, has time for us or truly cares for our wellbeing.

 

Negative relationships

Nothing will drain your energy more than being around negative people. Abusive and/or violent people, energy vampires, people who are critical or contemptuous towards you, or people who constantly fight or bicker with you are the kind of people who will slowly but surely drive you towards burnout.

 

Lack of confidence

If you lack confidence in yourself, then you will find most situations outside of your usual comfort zone difficult. Being crippled with self-consciousness makes events which would be a breeze for most people a total nightmare. Some people are born with this lack of confidence but others lose their self-confidence later in life, perhaps due to a difficult experience or a health problem.

 

Lack of assertiveness

At work and in your relationships, a lack of assertiveness can create difficult situations for you, as you fail to communicate to others your wishes and needs. Constantly sacrificing your own needs and being unable to say no to the needs of others will inevitably lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration, and to feeling unappreciated and unrecognised, the forerunners of burnout.

 

Unhealthy responses to stress

If you have ineffective coping strategies, you will be more prone to burnout, for example if you have a tendency to worry, get angry or anxious, or if you try and avoid potentially stressful situations.

 

Unhealthy attitudes and thinking habits

The way you think about life, people and the world in general can affect how likely you are to burn out. Are you overly hostile, aggressive, or suspicious? Are you pessimistic, withdrawn, or negative? Or perhaps you have too high expectations, of yourself and of others. All these attitudes are liable to increase your chances of becoming overloaded.

 

Unresolved emotional issues

To prevent yourself suffering from burnout due to accumulated emotional baggage which, as we have seen, can make your nervous system hypersensitive, it’s important to spend some time dealing with this and resolving any remaining issues you may have from the past. Living constantly with feelings of rage, bitterness, resentment, hatred and fear will in time almost certainly result in chronic burnout.

 

People who give too much

This is particularly an issue for empaths and others who work in caring professions or roles, particularly if part of the reason for us giving is the need for appreciation. We can find ourselves becoming over emotionally invested in people – friends, family or clients – which can lead to disappointment when the person fails to appreciate our efforts or respond to our help in what we feel is an appropriate way. We can also find ourselves suffering from ‘compassion fatigue’  if we are working regularly with traumatised clients or are spending time with anyone suffering from trauma, be it physical or emotional.

 

These, then, are just some of the ways in which burnout can creep up upon us. If we are willing to take the time to heal, however, we can turn our experience into a positive one by using it to increase our knowledge of our inner selves and find the way to our true path. In part three, we’ll look at how we can heal ourselves when suffering from burnout and explore how we can prevent it from happening to us now or in the future.

Burnout Pt.1: The Symptoms

In my article ‘On Being An Empath‘, I emphasise the importance of self care. Today we’re going to look at what can happen if you fail to take care of yourself – or if life simply makes that impossible to do and overwhelms you.

In our technological, fast-moving society, with its plethora of loud noises and bright lights, toxic chemicals and preservatives, pollution and EMFs,  and its emphasis on money and material acquisition above compassion and empathy for our fellow man, it’s hardly surprising that burnout has become so prevalent. And sadly, if you are an empath or HSP, or spend much of your time healing, helping or caring, you are even more susceptible to this syndrome.

There are many symptoms of burn out, and in part one today, we’ll take a closer look at them. Though this is quite a comprehensive list, it is by no means exhaustive as burnout can affect everyone in very different ways.

Physical symptoms

* Fatigue – one of the main symptoms which is likely to affect everyone is exhaustion (emotional and mental as well as physical) which is not alleviated by sleep or rest. The outcome of this, should it continue, could be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, also known as ME.

* Sleep disturbances – you may find you are no longer able to drop off at bedtime like you used to, or perhaps you are waking up in the night, once or several times, and are unable to get back to sleep.

* Vivid, disturbing dreams - if you do manage to sleep, you may wake up feeling like you’ve run a marathon, after a night of overactive dreaming.

* Inability to relax – when at leisure

* Aches and pains – back pains, stiff neck, frozen shoulder, head aches and chest pains (including tightness in the chest) are all potentially symptomatic of burn out. You could also have severe joint or muscle aches, which could develop into fibromyalgia.

* Physical weakness – due to low energy and weakened muscles. Even climbing the stairs can feel like an ordeal.

* Numbness, tingling, pins and needles – particularly in your arms and legs, and hands and feet.

* Digestive problems – you could suffer from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or other gastro-intestinal disturbances.

* Loss of appetite - resulting in extreme weight loss.

* Food cravings -  in particular sugar or carbohydrates, due to low blood sugar levels. This could result in significant weight gain, which you find impossible to shift.

* Operating on ‘low’ – like a weak battery, all your body’s systems could be running low. As well as low energy and low blood sugar, you could also be suffering from low temperature and low hormone levels, including low cortisol (stress hormone).  Low cortisol is also another cause of weight gain around the stomach area.

* Faulty thermostat – you could find yourself always feeling cold and suffering from chills and/or overheating and suffering from hot flushes.

* Lowered immune system – suffering from chronic and/or recurring low grade infections.

* Allergies – skin rashes, chemical sensitivities, respiratory difficulties and sinus problems, such as rhinitis.

* Toxic build-up in the body

* Pre-menstrual problems and period pains

* Decreased libido

* Fertility problems

* Sensitivity to loud noises and bright lights

* Tinnitus

* Sore throat

* Swollen glands

* Bladder problems

* Tremor or general feeling of shakiness

* Excessive yawning or sighing

Emotional and psychological symptoms

* Depression, despair, suicidal tendencies

* Lethargy, apathy, inertia

* Anger, irritability, resentment

* Anxiety, fear, worrying

* Guilt, shame, nervousness, apprehension

* Feeling helpless and hopeless

 

* Emotional deadness

 

* Mood swings

 

* Low self-esteem

 

* High self-criticism

 

* Overly introspective

* Compulsive and obsessive-compulsive tendencies

* Addiction – to over-stimulating substances such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco and caffeine, or activities such as excessive exercise, sex, loud music or other forms of excitement, in an attempt to stimulate the adrenal glands.

* Cognitive difficulties -  Memory loss, confused thinking, inability to concentrate. One of the scariest symptoms of this kind is ‘brain fog’, when you find yourself unable to remember something which you should easily be able to recall, for example, where you live or what your home looks like, or the name of an immediate family member

* Increasing sense of being cut off from ourselves and other people – feeling trapped, distant and disillusioned.

* Negative attitudes towards others, self and life in general – losing your sense of humour

* Defensiveness, pessimism, cynicism and/or intolerance towards others.

* Loss of interest in friends and family – withdrawal from others. You may find yourself using avoidance tactics when it comes to socialising, as you prefer to engage in solitary – and not necessarily healthy – activities such as isolative substance abuse, watching too much TV or spending an inordinate amount of time on the Internet.

* Feeling that the world is an evil place and losing faith in humanity

* Where work is concerned, you may find yourself losing interest with the result being that your performance suffers, you are frequently absent or late, and you participate in negative activities such as gossiping.

* Decreasing ability to be effective at doing what we have always done, either at work or at home

* Poor attention – speeding up without increased effectiveness

* Lack of assertiveness

* Indecisiveness

Do you recognise yourself  or someone you love in any of those symptoms? If so, in part two, we’ll be exploring the possible causes of burnout.

The benefits of a stress-free life

They say that moving house is one of the most stressful events in life and I’m now inclined to agree with them. This wasn’t always the case. I’ve moved a lot since I left my parents’ home back in 1985 and I used to find it fun and easy. Packing and unpacking never bothered me – I quite enjoy it as I find it strangely therapeutic (see ‘decluttering’ blogs) – and the admin side of things used to be really simple – fire off a few letters informing everyone of your new address and Bob’s your uncle.

When I moved three years ago, however, it was a very different story. The rise of corporate culture at the expense of customer service (i.e. profits before people) combined with the rapid increase in the use of computer systems – ironically supposed to increase efficiency – meant that tasks which should have been very simple became an absolute nightmare. It took me six months to sort everything out, over which time I spent hours either on the phone (mostly on hold or being passed round from department to department) or firing off letters.  I also became increasingly frustrated and distressed as my actions invariably failed to produce any results other than unfulfilled promises and more wasted hours for me. This kind of thing would be stressful for anyone but as a HSP, it practically sent me round the bend and made me quite ill in the process.

As I’m currently moving house again, the memories of this time have loomed horribly to the forefront of my mind, though thankfully as I’m moving in with my partner this time, I have someone to share the load with. However, it has got me thinking about stress and the effect it has on our bodies (something I wrote about in my very first blogs on here) and how our attitude to those minor irritations can make a huge difference in our wellbeing and overall quality of life.

I’ve shared most of my adult life with two cats, Pyewackett and Binbag. Pyewackett (see pic below) was extremely highly strung – for him, just being alive was stressful. He constantly had hissy fits and was extremely possessive of me – wherever I sat, you could guarantee Pyewackett would be there too. This also meant that he was jealous of Binbag and would attack him at any given opportunity – until Binbag started to lash out when he came anywhere near him, at which point he started giving him a very wide berth.

I always used to joke that if Pyewackett was a human, he would probably be sitting in group therapy, clutching his forehead whilst bemoaning his terrible existance and all the minor stresses he had to deal with on a daily basis. He had problems with his digestive system all his life and when he caught cat flu aged 2, he became very ill, prompting two hasty visits to the vet in a week. No surprise, then, that he died suddenly having just turned 14 – I assume his heart just gave out in the night, as we came downstairs one morning and found him lying dead in the hallway. That was two and a half years ago and I still miss him now.

Binbag (see pic above) was a rescue cat who I got from the RSPCA. I should have known what he was like as he had to be woken up in his cage for me to get a proper look at him. He was so sweet and affectionate that I knew he was the one immediately. As for his bizarre moniker, it was his laidback nature that earned him that as well. I was struggling to settle on a name for him – I tried a few out but nothing seemed to fit. One day some friends were round and as we were discussing how my new black cat barely moved and had done nothing but sleep in the same armchair since I got him, one of them commented ‘I don’t know why you bothered getting a cat at all – you might as well have got a binbag and put that on the chair instead.’ Cue laughter all round plus years of embarrassment for me,  standing at the back door apparently shouting for a ‘Binbag’.

Binbag has continued to be a laidback sleepyhead throughout his life. If he had been human, he’d have been the friendly old bloke propping up the bar who doesn’t really contribute much, but who everyone likes as he always has a kind word and a smile for everyone. He had the same flu as Pyewackett and shook it off with a couple of sneezes and overall, has been in fine health for most of his life (barring his barrel of a belly). Recently we had a bit of a scare when he started sneezing blood and his eye became really swollen. In view of his age, I thought he might have a tumour, but it was just an infection and once again, with the aid of a few eye drops and an injection of antibiotics, he shook it off. Even the vet commented on what good shape he was in for a cat of his age. He’s now over 16 years old and still going strong.

I think you can probably see what the moral of the story is but I’ll spell it out anyway. If you too would like to live a long, peaceful and healthy life, don’t cry and sigh like the Pye  – life is too short to spend your days making yourself ill through fretting and getting wound up over trivialities.  Let’s all follow the wise example of the Binners – and let it be.

Vegetarianism – a step up the evolutionary ladder?

The human race in the 21st century seems to pride itself on its sophistication and civilisation. My belief is that we’re far from civilised and are, as Bill Hicks pointed out, only half-evolved:

Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? There’s another 90 percent of our brains that we have to illuminate.

In the same way that we can now sneer at our ancestors for believing the sun was a god and that the earth was flat, and express horror at the fact that kids were hanged for stealing apples and women were burned as witches for being different, so our descendants will deride us for our primitive behaviours. Fighting over territory, satisfying lusts for sex, blood and power – behaviours which are occurring, albeit in small and often petty ways  on a daily basis in each of our own little worlds, not just on a global level. We may be able to walk on two legs, communicate using a complex language system and create some amazing stuff, but underneath all that we’re still just driven by base animal instincts and ruled by those lower chakras.

So how is this relevant to vegetarianism? Here are some quotes from people far more eminent than myself who articulate this far better than I ever could:

* “For as long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other. Indeed, he who sows the seed of murder and pain cannot reap joy and love.” Pythagoras, mathematician

* “The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men.” Leonardo da Vinci, artist and scientist

* “To a man whose mind is free there is something even more intolerable in the sufferings of animals than in the sufferings of man. For with the latter it is at least admitted that suffering is evil and that the man who causes it is a criminal. But thousands of animals are uselessly butchered every day without a shadow of remorse. If any man were to refer to it, he would be thought ridiculous. And that is the unpardonable crime.” Romain Rolland, author, Nobel Prize 1915

* “If a group of beings from another planet were to land on Earth — beings who considered themselves as superior to you as you feel yourself to be to other animals — would you concede them the rights over you that you assume over other animals?” George Bernard Shaw, playwright, Nobel Prize 1925

* “What is it that should trace the insuperable line? …The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?” Jeremy Bentham, philosopher

* “In their behavior toward creatures, all men are Nazis. Human beings see oppression vividly when they’re the victims. Otherwise they victimize blindly and without a thought.” Isaac Bashevis Singer, author, Nobel Prize 1978

* “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” “To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being.” Mahatma Gandhi, statesman and philosopher

And finally, my original point summed up beautifully:

* “Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages.” Thomas Edison, inventor

The reason I feel there is a connection between the way we treat animals and our evolution is this. I used to be a very strict vegetarian – then I lapsed. And with hindsight I can see that the reason I lapsed was because I was temporarily ‘asleep’ and living through my ego, my life ruled by fear rather than love. As I reawakened, opened up my higher chakras, and rediscovered my authentic self, I found myself naturally drawn to vegetarianism again (though I was never a big meat eater anyway, just the occasional English breakfast or fish and chips when eating out), and the final turning point came when I stumbled upon a video online similar to this:

The actual video I watched, which is no longer available, was entitled ‘If you eat meat, you can watch this’. Now, I am one of those highly sensitive types who can’t bear to witness violence of any kind, so I tend to avoid this kind of thing as I know it will literally haunt me for the rest of my life. But I thought the challenge was fair enough, so I forced myself to watch it (though I had to have the sound turned down, and keep scrolling up and down). What I saw was so horrific that it was enough to convince me that I would never touch any meat product again. It seems abhorrent to me that an animal should suffer such a terrifying and violent death, just so that a human can eat a meal which he or she probably doesn’t even appreciate that much anyway. When you grab a burger in your lunch break, your only concern is to satisfy your temporary hunger, and then it’s forgotten about. Yet in order for you to eat that meal, a sentient being gave its life. I could never again eat something knowing that in its original form, this food was a creature which spent its last few moments on Earth shocked, frightened and in pain. And on a purely energetic level, is this really the kind of energy you want to be ingesting?

As you cut through the swathes of negative conditioning and beliefs which have masked your authentic self, achieving inner simplicity and enjoying the fulfilment, harmony and serenity which come from opening up your higher chakras and finding meaning in your life, you will probably also find yourself gravitating towards a cleaner, purer and more ethical diet. As well as becoming vegetarian, you may also find yourself naturally rejecting nicotine, alcohol, recreational drugs, sugar, salt, caffeine and processed foods. Most addictions to these substances are due to a lack of meaning in your life, so it makes sense that an improvement in your emotional, psychological and spiritual wellbeing will result in these habits naturally falling away. Where the mind and spirit go, so shall the body follow.

For more information on becoming vegetarian, contact the Vegetarian Society at www.vegsoc.org. Or perhaps  you are already vegetarian and would like to  take it further and become vegan, in which case you can get more information from the Vegan Society at www.vegansociety.com.

Reiki (part three) – my experience

Today I would like to share some of my personal experiences of working with Reiki.

As I mentioned in my previous Reiki blogs (you can find part one here and part two here), I trained for my 1^st degree with York Reiki Plus and would recommend this course to anyone from the York area who is interested in energy work. Irene Forsyth, the Reiki master who runs the course, is a lovely woman, warm and down-to-earth, and the location is a gorgeous little mind, body and spirit shop with a fabulous name (‘The Zentist’) so the ambience is very cosy and laidback. Prior to the course, Irene sends you a comprehensive 170 page manual to help familiarise yourself with all aspects of Reiki, the content of which is discussed throughout the day. I spent three full days working through the manual in some depth so arrived on the practical training day feeling confidently informed. You are also sent a couple of CDs to guide you through the Hatsurei Ho daily energy exercises and the self-healing meditation mentioned in the last blog entry. These are also practised on the training day so you will have a thorough grounding in these important aspects of Reiki by the end of the course.

Within Reiki circles, there is much talk of a 21 day (or in some cases, 28 day) cleansing period. Some say this occurs as soon as you start working with Reiki, some say this begins after your first empowerments (also known as attunements). Here are some thoughts on this:

Following the attunement is a 28 day period called the cleansing period. During this time, you are encouraged to give yourself a treatment every day and many students find themselves undergoing positive personal changes and spiritual growth which can be a very powerful and very rewarding time.

http://www.reiki-questions.com/reiki-training/Reiki1.htm

During this time each person will experience their own unique reaction to the cleansing period. NO two attunements are ever the same. Depending on which form of Reiki of Healing Modality you choose to be attuned to, depends on how long this Cleansing period may last for, generally they vary from 7 days to 21 days in length.

Reiki only works for the good of all, so during the cleansing period you may undergo a detox, that can often bring about changes in your life. The Reiki attunement can start a cleansing process that effects the physical body as well as the mind and emotions. Toxins that have been stored in the body may be released along with feelings and thoughts that are no longer useful. A process of purification prior to attunement is recommended to improve the benefits one receives.

Many people report experiencing some of the following things:

Opening of the third eye

An increase in intuitive awareness

Other psychic abilities.

A release of Negative Emotions

Changes in food preferences

http://www.thereikichain.com/Attunements.html

As the body processes the attunements they bring with them a deep cleansing and healing. Many people find they have increased intuition or creativity. Physically you may experience minor cold symptoms, headache, increased body discharges, etc. On an emotional level you may feel tiredness, have vivid dreams, surges of emotion such as anger/tears or old memories resurfacing which need to be resolved. Reiki will affect you in the way that is right for you and symptoms will pass in a few days.

Traditionally a 21 day cleansing period follows Reiki one. Practising on yourself daily will maximise the benefits. Once you have been attuned to Reiki one the more you use the energy the stronger it will become. It is common for people to find the clarity and strength to bring positive change into their lives.

http://www.renaissancetherapy.co.uk/reiki attunements.htm

Taggart King of Reiki Evolution, whose work this course is based on, has this to say about the 21 day cleansing period –

It is traditional within Reiki to think in terms of a 21-day period of clearing out or cleansing, as the energy starts to work on you as its first priority. Common reactions are to have a ‘Reiki cold’ or other respiratory infection, an occasional surprising migraine, or to feel quite tired and sleepy for some days during the 2-3 week period after attunement. Emotional ups and downs are quite common, and you may find that you are seeing things in ‘Technicolor’ for a while, with colours taking on an amazing intensity. For some, Reiki leads to a period of dissatisfaction, leading you to think carefully about your life and your priorities. For the most part Reiki works gently and seems to have built-in mechanisms to prevent the ‘clearing out’ period from being particularly eventful.

The ’21 day ‘ period is a bit of a Reiki myth, actually, because Reiki continues to work on you months and even years later, and it is possible that you will release things further down the line, too, not just in the first 21 days. Stronger reactions are more common in the first few weeks after going on a course, of you are going to have a strong reaction (such things are not compulsory!) though they can happen at any time, based on what is right for you. We receive what is right for us at any given time. We are all different.

We received three empowerments on the day and my experience of each one was very different, and differed from those of the other people on the course.

The first empowerment was very powerful and made me feel quite emotional. My head felt fuzzy and was filled with a violet colour and my heart felt like it would explode. The word I associated with this empowerment was ‘power’.

The second empowerment was subtler than the first. The word I associated with this one was ‘intuition’ – the right hand side of my head felt fuzzy and felt like it wanted to merge with the left. I also ‘saw’ an indigo outline of an eye. I initially thought this may be my ‘third eye’ but whilst looking for an appropriate image to convey what I saw, I found this symbol, known as the Eye of Horus:

Further research into this symbol revealed this:

The Left Eye of Horus represents abstract aesthetic information controlled by the right brain. It deals with esoteric thoughts and feelings and is responsible for intuition. It approaches the universe in terms of female oriented ideation. We use the Left Eye, female oriented, right side of our brain for feeling and intuition.

The eye of Horus, was originally known as the wadjat, but was also called the wedjet, the Eye of the Moon, and later the Eye of Ra. It became a powerful symbol that was used on amulets for protection against evil and was thought to have healing powers.

In the present day the eye of Horus is still a powerful symbol that can be offered as a gift in the form of jewellery, for example, that shows your love for another person. In particular it has connotations of selflessness and dedication as well as the more general functions of good luck and warding off evil forces and improve health.

The third empowerment I associated with the word ‘love’. This time it felt like my left hand side was trying to come into balance with the right – there was a strong buzzing in my left ear – and in my mind’s eye I saw a heart surrounded by rainbow colours, followed by a vision similar to the image below, which to me represents spiritual symmetry and balance:

I did feel noticeably ‘blissed out’ after the empowerments. Taggart comments that ‘If you are basically fine on the physical, mental and emotional level then the energy will not have a great deal to do, but if you have a lot to be sorted out, then the energy will rush in like a tidal wave and start to get things moving!’

Having done a lot of personal development work over the last fifteen years, I feel that mentally and emotionally I am ‘pretty sorted’ – although I wouldn’t be so bold as to say completely sorted, as we all have work to do on ourselves – personal growth is a lifelong adventure! However I would say that I’m very in tune with my authentic self, i.e. I know who I am, what my life purpose is and what I need to feel fulfilled and serene. On occasion, however, I do struggle with self-doubt – am I really on the right path? Is this really the right thing to do? Am I just kidding myself? – and as a particularly sensitive person, I have to be careful not to become too overwrought when faced with stressful situations. Emotionally and mentally, then, I feel that the empowerments ‘fine-tuned’ me, resulting in my feeling more balanced and relaxed and confirming for me that I am indeed on the right path, both personally and professionally.

Physically, I’ve felt some more powerful ‘retuning’ occurring, particularly around my sinuses (always a tricky area for me) which has resulted in a few headaches, and in my legs, which I have felt ‘vibrating’ in a sometimes quite disconcerting way. As my work is very sedentary, the energy in my legs has probably become somewhat static over the years, so I’ve been using Reiki on myself to get the energy moving again which so far seems to have helped.

I’ve also done several Reiki treatments on others, during and since the course, and have been amazed at how powerful this work is, as have been the recipients, some of whom were rather sceptical prior to their Reiki session. For instance, I worked with someone who is going through a number of difficult life events at the moment, and felt a tremendous amount of heat coming from her, particularly around her head. As this person has also been experiencing physical symptoms in her right arm and her left foot, I dedicated more time to these areas, and she reported to me the following day that throughout the night, she could feel something she struggled to describe  – “not exactly pain – maybe a little achy, but strange, a trembling or vibrating maybe?” – in these very spots.

I also worked briefly with a woman who suffers from M.E. and found that though the top of her body was very hot, she was effectively dead, energy-wise, from the waist down. Her legs have caused her a lot of suffering due to her illness, so it will be interesting to continue working with her and see if her condition improves through Reiki treatments.

In contrast to this, I worked with a couple of women, one who is very spiritual and another who feels fulfilled and happy in her life, and felt a gentle breeze – and a huge aura – around the whole of their beings. The second woman also reported that when I worked on her crown chakra, it felt like ‘the top of my head was stretching upwards – like I had a really long head!’  and when I treated her feet,  she commented that it felt ‘like I was sinking into really soft sand’.

I also worked with a very pleasant and contented child, and noted that the energy felt very balanced except for in the throat area.  Much of the Reiki literature advises not to analyse the sensations you feel when treating someone, but I do think that it’s interesting that the energy changed around the throat chakra area and children often feel that in a world dominated by adults, they don’t really have a voice…

All of the people I’ve treated so far have felt very relaxed. As I haven’t got a treatment table yet, I’ve had to work with people sitting on a kitchen chair but despite this a couple of them have still almost nodded off. I also end up feeling very relaxed myself when I’m giving treatments and also very hot – the heat coming through my body when I connect with the energy is incredible and one of my friends actually opened her eyes when I placed my hands on her navel area as she couldn’t believe that amount of heat was emanating just from me! I realised very quickly that I need to tie up my hair and wear cool, loose clothing when working with Reiki. It has also been a surprise how quickly the time goes when I’m giving a treatment. One of the reasons I never previously considered learning physical therapies was because, frankly, I thought I would find it boring! My work has always revolved around communication with words, written (journalism) and spoken (counselling), so spending an hour with someone in complete silence never really appealed to me. However, I find giving Reiki treatments totally absorbing – the time simply flies past and if it wasn’t for other commitments, I could quite happily continue working way beyond the prescribed hour.

As I said in my first Reiki blog, this is just the beginning of my journey into a whole new exciting aspect of universal energy. My aim is to move on to the second degree course in the coming months and in the meantime, I will keep you all updated on my experiences with Reiki. I would also love to hear about any experiences you may have had so please feel free to leave a comment or to contact me via my website at www.empathicguidance.com.

Reiki (part one) – my journey begins

Regular readers of my blog will be aware of my interest in the concept of energy and how it affects us all. My background is in counselling and for years I was predominantly focussed on the mind and how our thoughts and feelings about our situations impact our lives. However, as I learned more about empathy and metaphysics, I began to take a more holistic approach to our wellbeing. I realised that our thoughts affected our feelings and vice versa, and that these could not be separated from the body, as each of these aspects of our selves impacts the others. And I then realised that what connects all these aspects of our selves – and what connects our selves to everything and everyone else around us – is energy. It’s also through energy that we  experience such phenomena as  empathy, telepathy and synchronicity and it’s through learning about energy systems such as the chakras that we can take positive steps to improve our holistic health and bring harmony and serenity to our mind, body and spirit, individually and collectively.

I previously had no interest in practising any of the more ‘physical’ healing therapies, though I have enjoyed being on the receiving end of them, with some interesting results. Regular treatments from a friend involving Indian head massage and chakra balancing helped me through a particularly difficult time in my life. I also had a Reiki treatment which unblocked some negative energy which had been held for a long time in my left knee – I’d injured this knee whilst involved in a horrible relationship which had an emotionally traumatic event attached to it, and it had given me gip ever since. When the Reiki master laid her hands on my knee, I was overwhelmed with emotion as memories of this traumatic event flooded into my mind, and I vividly recall that this took me completely by surprise, as I had little knowledge then of the mind-body connection and how energy works. However I was aware that from then on, I no longer had any problems with this knee at all.

Despite these positive experiences, and despite my growing awareness of my own ability to tune into the universal energy on an emotional level, it still hadn’t dawned on me that energy work was something I personally could do. My interest was piqued earlier this year, however, when a friend of mine used me as a case study for her reflexology course. My friend has a real gift for this work and I was impressed time and again by her ability to pick up information about my physical and emotional state simply through contact with my feet. Just one example: prior to my website launch, I became quite stressed and noticed that this stress was being released through my body – but only on my right hand side (the masculine side, relating to business endeavours and ambition). I did not share this with Elaine, but after my next treatment she said to me ‘It’s very strange but all your problems seem to be on your right hand side’. (More on reflexology and Elaine’s practice in a future blog.)

I had also begun to notice that the presence of my energy seemed to have a healing quality for some people. A woman I know who was suffering from several stress-related illnesses reported to me how she always felt physically better just through being around me. One day my partner had an upset stomach which made him feel nauseous and reduced his appetite, so I lay my hands on his stomach. I immediately felt heat on the left hand side but not on the right. ‘Is the pain in any particularly place?’ I asked him. ‘Yes, just here on the left’ he said. So I held my hand over the warm spot and, even though I had at this point had no ‘official’ training, I channelled healing energy into that particular area. He called me later to tell me that he’d felt great for the rest of the evening and that night ate a hearty meal.

I also spontaneously used the ‘hands-on’ method for emotional healing with my daughter when she was suffering from pre-exam nerves. Despite being incredibly gifted, she gets very nervous when she has to perform, be it on stage or in an exam, as she sets very high standards for herself. As we sat waiting for her to go into the exam, I decided to channel some calming energy into her. I put my arm around her and placed my hands on both her shoulders, without informing her of what I was doing. After I let go, she suddenly turned round to me and said ‘Actually, I feel much better now, Mum’. When I told her what I’d done later, she said to me ‘I thought you were just giving me a hug!’ (She went on to pass the exam with distinction.)

To cut a long story short, all of this eventually led me to explore Reiki, and the more I read about it, the more I realised that it was the perfect complement to the emotional healing work I already do. So I decided to enrol on a Reiki 1^st degree course with York Reiki Plus… of which, more tomorrow