Burnout Pt.2: The Causes – and why it may be a blessing in disguise

In part one, I described some of the many symptoms of burnout. In the second part of this article, I look at why burnout is not necessarily a bad thing and list some of the causes of this increasingly common syndrome.

Firstly, however, we will briefly discuss the possible physical cause of burnout. It is usually attributed to a malfunction of the autonomic nervous system and the adrenal glands. The autonomic nervous system is a combination of nerves, connections and glands which works in conjunction with practically every other system in our body. All of our body’s regular activities are performed by this system, such as breathing, digestion and so on, and it is this system which acts as the body’s thermostat,  ensuring that it adapts accordingly to external forces – for example, adjusting your breathing and heart rate if you walk up a hill.

Your body can also interpret your external environment using the five senses – sight, sound etc. These perceptions are then transmitted through the brain, which ensures that the appropriate response is activated by the nervous system.

Problems begin when the part of the brain which controls the ‘fight or flight’ stress mechanism starts firing at an abnormally high rate. This can occur when we overanalyse potential danger and perceive threats where in fact there are none, or suffer stressful events which feel like danger because they threaten our sense of self or wellbeing. The adrenal glands begin releasing hormones such as cortisol to deal with the stress, but if this stress is overwhelming then too many of these hormones are produced, swamping the nervous system. This results in autonomic overload, as well as depleting the adrenals, leading to adrenal burnout – and resulting, ultimately, in the symptoms described in part one. (You can read more about this in Coping with a Stressed Nervous System by Dr Kenneth Hambly and Alice Muir.)

Of course, if you are a HSP (highly sensitive person) or an empath, then you will have been born with a nervous system which is already hypersensitive to external stimuli, making you more susceptible to burnout than others with a less sensitive system. This is why HSPs and empaths need to practise self-care a good deal more diligently than most. However, even if you were not born with a sensitive nervous system, you may find yourself becoming increasingly sensitised if you have had a particularly stressful or traumatic life.

As we have seen from the symptoms, burnout can be extremely distressing. However surprisingly, there is a positive aspect to burnout. It can be viewed as a transformative event in our lives – a turning point, a wake-up call and a cry from the soul. Somewhere deep within the heart of us, the barely discernible voice of our intuition is trying to inform us of what our soul really needs and put us in touch with our authentic self. If we listen to this voice then we can transform our lives immeasurably – but if we fail to heed the warning, then the outcome could potentially be fatal. (Viewed in this more positive way, it is also then no coincidence that the symptoms of burnout are so reminiscent of the symptoms of awakening.)

Dr Dina Glouberman talks about this in more detail in her book, The Joy of Burnout: How the End of the World Can Be a New Beginning:

The area in which we eventually burn out, whether at work, with our children or parents, in an intimate partnership, in a social or political group or elsewhere, has two defining characteristics. It is where:

* We invest our creativity, our passion, our heart and/or our ability to contribute.

* We earn a sense of identity, value, belonging, purpose and/or meaning.

As long as the situation we are devoted to is working and our contribution is effective, appreciated or rewarded, we remain wholehearted. Our energy is high and vibrant and our life probably seems positive and successful both to others and to ourselves. But if anything upsets this picture, we become candidates for burnout.

At some point, something changes either in us or in our situation or in the relationship between the two. Our heart goes out of our situation. There is a dawning awareness, often hardly conscious, that there must be another way, that it can’t be right to continue as we are.

Some of us listen to this feeling and make significant changes in our lives – a new job, a new relationship, or a new approach to our old job or relationship. In this way, we stop ourselves from continuing on the burnout trail.

But those of us who keep going, denying everything that contradicts the path we are on, are likely to head for a major burnout. Driven by fear of losing what we had rather than positive intention, we are no longer in a flow with ourselves or with our lives. We cut off from our bodies, our feelings, sometimes our friends and family. We become divided against ourselves. Our head, heart and soul are not in alignment. We operate like a car with the accelerator and the brake working at the same time and the tank down to empty.

 

So what kind of scenarios, experiences, traits and behaviours can lead to burnout? Here are some examples:

Trauma

If you suffer from one or more traumas in your life, then you are increasingly at risk of burnout. Initially we can feel that we have handled the trauma well, but find ourselves burning out further down the line when our life seems to have settled down again, as the effects on our nervous system catch up with us.

 

The ‘drip-drip-drip’ effect

Often it is not one major trauma but a series of minor stresses, disappointments and frustrations which can slowly drive us to burnout. Several years ago, I moved house and for six months, found myself plagued with petty problems which involved me making numerous phone calls to a variety of call centres. Anyone who has ever had to ring one of these places will know how frustrating it can be, particularly when the issue you are trying to resolve requires you to call back again and again and again, due to the company’s incompetence. If you’re a sensitive, you probably also know how difficult it can be to make these calls, particularly when you’re already under stress. Needless to say, after six months of dealing with this on almost a daily basis, I was on the verge of complete burnout.

 

Lifestyle

If your lifestyle leads you to neglect your self-care, and you’re not getting enough sleep, not eating or exercising properly and are using stimulants to keep yourself going, then you’re going to be much less able to cope with the issues life throws at you. Living a fast-paced, high-stress and/or fear-based lifestyle is also a sure recipe for burnout. You can also burn out from too much exercise – after a very stressful period resulting in several warning signs such as fatigue, weight gain and emotional problems, Louise embarked on an intensive training regime to try and boost her health. Unfortunately this was the last straw as far as her body was concerned, and the excessive exertion hastened Louise’s decline into severe burnout.

 

Work issues

Overworking and perfectionism, or alternatively job dissatisfaction and lack of challenge can ultimately lead to burnout symptoms. Everyone has heard of the phenomenon of the business man who, when he finally takes a holiday, immediately falls ill. And working day after day in a job which fails to challenge you in anyway is simply soul destroying. Our society is increasingly economically focussed, and sadly this seems to be at the expense of our wellbeing. If you don’t have a sensible work-rest balance or if you are doing a job you hate simply for the money, then you’re a high-risk candidate for burnout.

 

Feeling unappreciated or unrecognised for your efforts

This can be in any relationship, whether business or personal. Joanne is a busy mum of four, who also runs her own business and is studying at college. Already finding herself feeling increasingly tearful, she finally broke down when faced with her teenage daughters’ filthy bedroom. Her frustration and disappointment at the constant lack of respect and appreciation shown by her family for her efforts at keeping the home and family life running smoothly became too overwhelming and Joanne was in great danger of burning out.

 

Lack of social support

Even when we lead busy lives and are constantly surrounded by people, we can feel unsupported and isolated. On the path to burnout, it can feel as if no-one understands us, has time for us or truly cares for our wellbeing.

 

Negative relationships

Nothing will drain your energy more than being around negative people. Abusive and/or violent people, energy vampires, people who are critical or contemptuous towards you, or people who constantly fight or bicker with you are the kind of people who will slowly but surely drive you towards burnout.

 

Lack of confidence

If you lack confidence in yourself, then you will find most situations outside of your usual comfort zone difficult. Being crippled with self-consciousness makes events which would be a breeze for most people a total nightmare. Some people are born with this lack of confidence but others lose their self-confidence later in life, perhaps due to a difficult experience or a health problem.

 

Lack of assertiveness

At work and in your relationships, a lack of assertiveness can create difficult situations for you, as you fail to communicate to others your wishes and needs. Constantly sacrificing your own needs and being unable to say no to the needs of others will inevitably lead to feelings of disappointment and frustration, and to feeling unappreciated and unrecognised, the forerunners of burnout.

 

Unhealthy responses to stress

If you have ineffective coping strategies, you will be more prone to burnout, for example if you have a tendency to worry, get angry or anxious, or if you try and avoid potentially stressful situations.

 

Unhealthy attitudes and thinking habits

The way you think about life, people and the world in general can affect how likely you are to burn out. Are you overly hostile, aggressive, or suspicious? Are you pessimistic, withdrawn, or negative? Or perhaps you have too high expectations, of yourself and of others. All these attitudes are liable to increase your chances of becoming overloaded.

 

Unresolved emotional issues

To prevent yourself suffering from burnout due to accumulated emotional baggage which, as we have seen, can make your nervous system hypersensitive, it’s important to spend some time dealing with this and resolving any remaining issues you may have from the past. Living constantly with feelings of rage, bitterness, resentment, hatred and fear will in time almost certainly result in chronic burnout.

 

People who give too much

This is particularly an issue for empaths and others who work in caring professions or roles, particularly if part of the reason for us giving is the need for appreciation. We can find ourselves becoming over emotionally invested in people – friends, family or clients – which can lead to disappointment when the person fails to appreciate our efforts or respond to our help in what we feel is an appropriate way. We can also find ourselves suffering from ‘compassion fatigue’  if we are working regularly with traumatised clients or are spending time with anyone suffering from trauma, be it physical or emotional.

 

These, then, are just some of the ways in which burnout can creep up upon us. If we are willing to take the time to heal, however, we can turn our experience into a positive one by using it to increase our knowledge of our inner selves and find the way to our true path. In part three, we’ll look at how we can heal ourselves when suffering from burnout and explore how we can prevent it from happening to us now or in the future.

Burnout Pt.1: The Symptoms

In my article ‘On Being An Empath‘, I emphasise the importance of self care. Today we’re going to look at what can happen if you fail to take care of yourself – or if life simply makes that impossible to do and overwhelms you.

In our technological, fast-moving society, with its plethora of loud noises and bright lights, toxic chemicals and preservatives, pollution and EMFs,  and its emphasis on money and material acquisition above compassion and empathy for our fellow man, it’s hardly surprising that burnout has become so prevalent. And sadly, if you are an empath or HSP, or spend much of your time healing, helping or caring, you are even more susceptible to this syndrome.

There are many symptoms of burn out, and in part one today, we’ll take a closer look at them. Though this is quite a comprehensive list, it is by no means exhaustive as burnout can affect everyone in very different ways.

Physical symptoms

* Fatigue – one of the main symptoms which is likely to affect everyone is exhaustion (emotional and mental as well as physical) which is not alleviated by sleep or rest. The outcome of this, should it continue, could be Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, also known as ME.

* Sleep disturbances – you may find you are no longer able to drop off at bedtime like you used to, or perhaps you are waking up in the night, once or several times, and are unable to get back to sleep.

* Vivid, disturbing dreams - if you do manage to sleep, you may wake up feeling like you’ve run a marathon, after a night of overactive dreaming.

* Inability to relax – when at leisure

* Aches and pains – back pains, stiff neck, frozen shoulder, head aches and chest pains (including tightness in the chest) are all potentially symptomatic of burn out. You could also have severe joint or muscle aches, which could develop into fibromyalgia.

* Physical weakness – due to low energy and weakened muscles. Even climbing the stairs can feel like an ordeal.

* Numbness, tingling, pins and needles – particularly in your arms and legs, and hands and feet.

* Digestive problems – you could suffer from IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) or other gastro-intestinal disturbances.

* Loss of appetite - resulting in extreme weight loss.

* Food cravings -  in particular sugar or carbohydrates, due to low blood sugar levels. This could result in significant weight gain, which you find impossible to shift.

* Operating on ‘low’ – like a weak battery, all your body’s systems could be running low. As well as low energy and low blood sugar, you could also be suffering from low temperature and low hormone levels, including low cortisol (stress hormone).  Low cortisol is also another cause of weight gain around the stomach area.

* Faulty thermostat – you could find yourself always feeling cold and suffering from chills and/or overheating and suffering from hot flushes.

* Lowered immune system – suffering from chronic and/or recurring low grade infections.

* Allergies – skin rashes, chemical sensitivities, respiratory difficulties and sinus problems, such as rhinitis.

* Toxic build-up in the body

* Pre-menstrual problems and period pains

* Decreased libido

* Fertility problems

* Sensitivity to loud noises and bright lights

* Tinnitus

* Sore throat

* Swollen glands

* Bladder problems

* Tremor or general feeling of shakiness

* Excessive yawning or sighing

Emotional and psychological symptoms

* Depression, despair, suicidal tendencies

* Lethargy, apathy, inertia

* Anger, irritability, resentment

* Anxiety, fear, worrying

* Guilt, shame, nervousness, apprehension

* Feeling helpless and hopeless

 

* Emotional deadness

 

* Mood swings

 

* Low self-esteem

 

* High self-criticism

 

* Overly introspective

* Compulsive and obsessive-compulsive tendencies

* Addiction – to over-stimulating substances such as drugs, alcohol, tobacco and caffeine, or activities such as excessive exercise, sex, loud music or other forms of excitement, in an attempt to stimulate the adrenal glands.

* Cognitive difficulties -  Memory loss, confused thinking, inability to concentrate. One of the scariest symptoms of this kind is ‘brain fog’, when you find yourself unable to remember something which you should easily be able to recall, for example, where you live or what your home looks like, or the name of an immediate family member

* Increasing sense of being cut off from ourselves and other people – feeling trapped, distant and disillusioned.

* Negative attitudes towards others, self and life in general – losing your sense of humour

* Defensiveness, pessimism, cynicism and/or intolerance towards others.

* Loss of interest in friends and family – withdrawal from others. You may find yourself using avoidance tactics when it comes to socialising, as you prefer to engage in solitary – and not necessarily healthy – activities such as isolative substance abuse, watching too much TV or spending an inordinate amount of time on the Internet.

* Feeling that the world is an evil place and losing faith in humanity

* Where work is concerned, you may find yourself losing interest with the result being that your performance suffers, you are frequently absent or late, and you participate in negative activities such as gossiping.

* Decreasing ability to be effective at doing what we have always done, either at work or at home

* Poor attention – speeding up without increased effectiveness

* Lack of assertiveness

* Indecisiveness

Do you recognise yourself  or someone you love in any of those symptoms? If so, in part two, we’ll be exploring the possible causes of burnout.

Wake up, change yourself – and change the world

I wrote this blog entry a while back and recently stumbled across it amongst my documents. I think it still sums up my philosophy pretty well, plus it also discusses the difference between masculine and feminine energy which is something I have recently been exploring with a client. I’d love to know what you think about this so do feel free to leave a comment or contact me at innersimplicity@empathicguidance.co.uk

Ok, so the first thing I want to make clear is this is MY reality, no-one else’s. What is true for me may not be true for you, and I wouldn’t want anyone to mindlessly take on board everything I have to say. The whole point of this stuff is ‘personal empowerment’ and giving your power away to anyone or anything, be it a bearded man in the sky, a bearded man in a kaftan or any type of self-proclaimed guru, or even false gods such as ‘mammon’ is simply counterproductive. So have a read, explore the parts that interest you and reject the bits that don’t.

The second point to make is that the basis of this theory is energy. I’m no physicist and this is a brief summary of my ideas, so I’m not even going to attempt to explain the laws of physics, though I can tell you that there is plenty of scientific proof of my basic belief if you want to check it out. For now, in a nutshell, my belief is that everything is made of energy and that all this energy is connected, hence ‘one consciousness’.

So the whole planet is energy and the whole planet is currently living in a state of ‘duality’. This duality causes people to become judgemental and afraid, judgemental of things they label ‘bad’ and afraid that they may themselves be labelled ‘bad’.  Everyone is competing to be the best or certainly better than the next man. And as most people are never going to achieve this, they end up feeling bitter, disillusioned, disappointed, and often looking for someone to blame as to why they did not receive the promised treasures. As for those that do ‘succeed’, they too are afraid – afraid they will lose it all tomorrow and no longer have their ‘power’, hence using this ‘power’ to keep the little man down, be it through creating fear or creating apathy .

The reason for this is that the energies of the planet are currently imbalanced in favour of the masculine. This is why there is so much emphasis on acquisition and aggression; why sex and ‘stuff’ are overrepresented in the media. Masculine energy, in its positive state, is a ‘doing’ energy – but for it to be used for the good of all, it needs to be balanced with the feminine energy, which is nurturing and creative. When I talk about moving away from duality, I do not mean that there will be no more ‘black/white’ ‘happy/sad’ etc – I am talking about finding balance between two apparently opposing states. So an ideal state for the planet, in my view, would be using the masculine energy to manifest the creative and nurturing ideas of the feminine. So far masculine energy has been used to manifest more ‘stuff’ but only to satisfy the ego – the development of technology should have worked as an agency of freedom, allowing us time and energy for ‘giving’ using the feminine energy, but instead people have become focussed on the ‘getting’. This is why I think we have lost our way. Everything has become a commodity, how ever well-intentioned at the start (the Green movement is a prime example).

So that’s the overall picture. How does this affect the individual? The individual is like a microcosm of the planet, and at the moment most of us are being ruled by our masculine energy, in the form of our ego. The ego is also the basis for the ‘inner child’ – imagine the ego as a toddler in the throes of the terrible twos and you get the picture. As well as the tantrum-ing toddler, there is also the ‘critical parent’ – that voice that tells the toddler that s/he’s never going to get that flash car/gorgeous figure/ great career/hot lover because s/he’s a piece of shit and doesn’t deserve it, and anyway, everyone is better than her/him. So this is the battle – or some variant of this – that most of us have going on in our heads at some level on a daily basis.

But one day something happens to us – we realise that we have been sold a lie and that the things we were told would fulfil us – the job, the house, the car, the holidays and gadgets -  are just traps to keep us compliant. In fact, everything in our lives has been about raising us to maintain the status quo – our education has quashed our individuality and turned us into obedient drones and society tells us that the only way to be a ‘good, respectable’ citizen is by working your arse off 40 hours a week to pay for all the stuff that you good respectable citizens are meant to have, otherwise you’re simply not good or respectable enough. Either we come to this realisation slowly or we undergo a major crisis or some kind of positive spiritual experience which is the catalyst for this change. For me, it was losing my job and, after the initial panic about how I was going to survive,  realising that I didn’t want to take yet another boring, underpaid/overworked job just to satisfy some work ethic drilled into me by the powers-that-be. This was the summer when I caught a glimpse of how life could be, a little taster of how it feels to be awakened, and the true beauty of recognising that we are all one consciousness. This seems to be something that many people experience at the beginning of awakening,  perhaps so that we stick to the path when it starts to get bumpy.

Because it does get bumpy for a while, really bumpy. That ego/inner child/critical parent combo is not disappearing without a fight.  Depending on how much shit you have to work through, the next few weeks/months/years will be spent understanding and placating this part of yourself – notice I don’t say obliterating, because this is about balance. A healthy ego, a playful inner child, a nurturing parent – this is what we are aiming for. The ego is there for a reason – it’s the ego which keeps us alive and safe and well – but it needs to know that it is not the centre of the universe. So treat your ego in the same way you would treat that petulant toddler –  let it know that  you are willing to respect it, so long as it respects you – give it boundaries, listen to its stories and acknowledge its pain, but don’t allow it to use the pain as an excuse for negative behaviour, either towards itself or others.

While you are working through this stuff, be it alone or with a counsellor/guide (I would recommend both ways), you will also experience some physical symptoms. This goes back to what I said about everything being energy – everything is connected, and that includes the mind/body connection. As you begin living through your heart/soul instead of your mind/ego, our thoughts change to those of a higher vibration which impacts our feelings, and our body is also affected by these changes. An example of this is the stress reactions our body has – who hasn’t felt sick with nerves, at some point? Or found themselves physically shaken by bad news? Or on a happier note, felt your heart soar when someone you love tells you they love you back?  The body is full of energy points (the chakras) and you may feel some of the changes most strongly in these parts. I’m working on a comprehensive list of all of these changes, but probably the major ones are fatigue and various aches and pains which appear in some part of the body only to mysteriously disappear and never return. Many of the symptoms also sound like the menopause – hot flushes, memory loss etc – but as these are appearing in men and also in people of all ages, it’s actually a sign of hormonal changes taking place, as hormones regulate just about every function in your body including emotions, weight, body temperature, libido, mental activity concentration, sight etc.

And meanwhile there are other changes taking place. Your excitement at recognising this new way of being could lead to you reading everything you can lay your hands on to make sense of what is happening to you.  As you begin vibrating at a higher level, you will also find your tolerance level for things of a lower vibration diminishing . You may find yourself feeling angry at the world for a while. You become increasingly isolated and your home becomes your sanctuary as you feel out of step with everything and everyone ‘out there’.  Your senses become more highly tuned and you may find yourself craving foods you never wanted before and turning your nose up at previous favourites. Loud noises, bright lights and heaving crowds become unbearable and you may want to spend more time in natural surroundings. You no longer value material stuff anymore, as you realise that you already have everything you need (and more – you may even begin to give stuff away). As you become increasingly sensitive to energy, you may also find yourself having what people consider ‘psychic’ experiences – you know things you couldn’t possibly know and your intuition becomes more efficient. Some people feel that this is the voice of your Higher Self, or your spirit guides – my personal view is that we are tuning into a higher frequency and becoming more aware of the subtleties in the environment. Synchronicities increase as you tune into these energies more and more and life begins to ‘flow’. Your relationships change – some may even end as you realise you are on different paths and simply have nothing in common anymore, or you may become less tolerant of the ‘energy leeches’ in your life, as your self-respect increases. You care less and less what other people think (a major sign that the ego is losing its stranglehold) and instead of wondering what people can do for you, you start to look at what you could do for them – and do it.

It’s at this point that you know you are ‘awake’ as STO (service to others) rather than STS (service to self) is the cornerstone of spiritual awakening. You recognise that you are powerful already, that it was only your ego (and the egos of others in the collective unconscious) that gave you the illusion that you needed something more to prove your power, and that the divine spark, what people have labelled ‘God’, is something within you, within all of us, not just ‘somewhere out there’. You take responsibility for yourself and you no longer just want to talk the talk (or read the books), you want to walk the walk. And underlying this is a feeling of ‘all-rightness’. You feel all right in yourself – you’ve accepted yourself for who you are and embraced your ‘shadow side’ – and you feel all right in the world. You change what you can and accept what you can’t, be it in you or out there. And so what began as an individual change, begins to change the world, like that proverbial butterfly flapping its wings.

The Miraculous Healing Power of Positive Energy

About eight weeks ago, I received the terrible news that a longstanding and close friend of mine, G, had been involved in a horrific road accident, resulting in serious head injuries. G and I first met almost two decades ago when we worked together and ended up being housemates for two and a half years, a time in my life which I have very fond memories of.

We stayed in touch for a while but life being as it as, lost touch for a few years while my daughter was growing up. However, thanks to the internet, we made contact again three years ago and picked up our friendship where we left off,  chatting on the  web and having some fun times together during G’s visits to us.

G had been going through a difficult time following the break up of her relationship, so I was thrilled to see how radiant she looked and how positive she seemed when I attended her 40^th birthday party back in February. She proudly told me that she’d finally put the past behind her and was planning on taking a sabbatical from work so that she could do some volunteer work abroad.

When the news reached me that she was currently lying in hospital in a coma after suffering horrendous head injuries, not only was I devastated, I was also extremely angry. How could this happen to such a good person when she was finally getting her life back on track? It seemed so bloody unfair. I didn’t sleep a wink that night and spent the whole time pacing around, worried about what the outcome may be and feeling helpless whilst simultaneously wondering what on earth I could do to make things better.

As soon as we could, my partner Lawrence and I went over to the hospital to see her. I’ve never been in an intensive care unit before, and it was very distressing to see G lying there surrounded by machines with all kinds of tubes attached to her. I held her hand and spoke to her, as I’d heard that this was the best thing to do in these circumstances and I hoped that maybe a familiar voice might help to bring her round from her coma. I talked about things which had happened to us in the past, about mutual friends and acquaintances, about TV shows she liked ‘You know you’re missing the big story line in Corrie, don’t you?’ and gently teased her about her hair – ‘have you any idea what they’ve done to your hair, mate? You need to get better soon and get that sorted pronto.’ But most of all, I told her how much we loved her, and reinforced how strong she was and that I knew that she could beat this and come back to us.

When we got home after that first visit, I contacted the Healing World Network and asked them to please send positive healing energy to G. I got some photos printed up of G and placed them around the house and whenever I could, I sent healing energy to her, imagining her totally engulfed in white light. I also contacted all my Reiki friends and asked them to put G in their distant healing books and practice distant healing on her. I had used distant healing before on people I knew in difficult emotional situations (alone and with my Reiki group) – some of these situations had been going on for months, if not years, and I had been amazed at how quickly they seemed to resolve once positive healing energy was being focussed on them. G was one of the people who I had been sending emotional healing energy to and I had witnessed firsthand how great she was feeling only a couple of months before. I had never tried to use this energy to heal such a serious physical trauma and had no idea if it would work, but other than visiting her as often as I could and continuing to tell her how strong she was and how much we loved her, there seemed to be little else I could do.

My partner and I continued to visit G twice a week, as I felt it was really important that she had as much positive stimulation as possible from the people who care about her. (Sadly, the sheer distance of the hospital and time restraints due to work and children meant that we could not manage any more, otherwise I would have been there every day.) When G had been in a coma for two weeks, I had a dream about her. In the dream, she opened her eyes then began speaking to me, gibberish at first, but gradually getting clearer until we were having a proper conversation. Then she stood up and took her first few tentative steps. It was like watching her recovery in fast forward. I told Lawrence about it and said ‘I hope it’s a premonition and not just wishful thinking’.

We arrived at the hospital a few hours later and  – lo and behold – G was lying there with her eyes open! ‘Oh my god, she’s awake!’ I cried. The nurse who was taking care of her (a really lovely woman called Fiona) said ‘Yes, she woke up last night’. We couldn’t believe it – and neither could the nurse when I told her about my dream. ‘Ooh, I’ve got goosebumps now!’ she said.

Her progress since waking has been nothing short of miraculous. Every single visit we have made, we have seen a huge improvement. On our next visit, we could make out tiny little facial expressions – a little smile and a barely discernible nod. Then on the next visit, we arrived at the door of her room and she sat up and whispered ‘hello’ – another truly joyous moment. And after that, she has come on in leaps and bounds, as I intuitively knew she would, despite the caution and fears of others – another tube removed, her memory, mobility and all her other faculties returning, and getting chattier by the day. It’s now almost eight weeks to the day that the accident occurred, and G is now in rehabilitation, totally tube free, and pretty much back to being the G we used to know – albeit a much more talkative version! –  and is even able to leave the hospital to stay with her parents at weekends. Hopefully she will be back home for good some time in the next couple of weeks.

The speed of her recovery has astounded everyone, including the doctors and nurses  (who of course also deserve credit for the amazing work they have done – all power to the NHS). In fact, all the hospital staff who have worked with G have said that her recovery has been quicker and better than they’ve ever seen in anyone else with the same injuries. My belief is that this is due to G’s strength – what a fighter! – the love of her family and friends, who have made sure she had plenty of visits and continually told her how strong she is, how much she is loved and how proud of her we are – and the miraculous healing power of positive energy. So many kind and caring people from all over the world have united to send healing energy to G and I really believe that the power of this energy has contributed towards her speedy recovery. We’ll never know for sure, of course, but I for one am happy to believe that my wonderful friend has been the recipient of an amazing miracle.

As often happens in these situations, the accident seems to have also changed G’s outlook on life. Back when she was still unconscious, in an attempt to put a positive spin on things, I remember saying that I hoped this was simply the universe giving her a wake-up call and that she would fully recover and make some really positive and much needed changes to her life. G is already talking about how the issues she had prior to the accident are no longer upsetting her – ‘and I hope it stays that way’ – and is talking about potential changes in her work and home life. I really hope that she continues to flourish and grow to be the best that I know she can be. Here’s to you, G – you’re a truly incredible woman and an inspiration to us all.

Spiritual Awakening – what’s it all about?

I’ve been prompted to feature this blog post as a result of some  really exciting and illuminating client work which I’ve recently had the pleasure of doing. The list  of ‘symptoms’ below has been published in several places on the internet and as such, I’m uncertain of the original source as many people are cited as the author.

 

I’m always wary about using the term ‘spiritual awakening’ as people immediately think of organised religion or New Age ‘woo-woo’ stuff. I think both of these views do a great disservice to what spiritual awakening actually is and are probably detrimental when it comes to the number of people actively seeking their own awakening, as they can alienate many who would benefit from the process. So here’s my more down-to-earth take on what awakening actually is.

 

Your spirit is your essential, authentic self – the core part of you, the real you beyond your defences and the protective layers you’ve built around you, and beyond the conditioning and beliefs instilled in you by your family and by society. So spiritual awakening is about rediscovering your authentic self – the golden nugget which exists at the very core of your being. This is why I feel that dealing with your psychological and emotional baggage is an important part of the awakening process.

 

As you deal with your baggage and strip away all the layers of protection and conditioning, as well as seeing yourself clearly for the first time, you also see the world clearly too. This is when we begin to see that there is more out there than the ‘tangible’ and when we begin to recognise how everything in the universe is connected. (I’ve talked about this more in my ‘energy’ blog posts – why our physical selves are impacted by our emotional selves, for example, and how phenomena such as telepathy and synchronicity occur.)

 

We also get to see clearly how and why humanity and the societies we create are so messed up, and consequently begin to seek out ways of being which are in alignment with our new spiritual outlook – i.e. simpler, more compassionate and more authentic.

 

The list below is quite extensive and some of the points may resonate with you more than others. You may also find that you prefer to replace expressions such as ‘spirit guides’, ‘angels’, ‘Christ consciousness’ and other religious references with phrases  such as ‘Universal energy’, ‘intuition’ or ‘inner guidance’ and ‘higher self’.

And if after reading this you do feel that you’re going through a process of awakening  and are struggling with the ups and downs, then please feel free to contact me via my website for a guidance session – very reasonably priced at £30 per e-mail (or £75 for three),  for which you will receive up to 2000 words of  invaluable insight and advice.

 

Symptoms of Spiritual Awakening

1. Changing sleep patterns: restlessness, hot feet, waking up two or three times a night. Feeling tired after you wake up and sleepy off and on during the day. There is something called the Triad Sleep Pattern that occurs for many: you sleep for about 2-3 hours, wake up, go back to sleep for another couple of hours, wake again, and go back to sleep again. For others, the sleep requirements have changed. You can get by on less sleep. Lately I have been experiencing huge waves of energy running into my body from the crown. It feels good, but it keeps me awake for a long time, then subsides. Advice: Get used to it. Make peace with it and don’t worry about getting enough sleep (which often causes more insomnia). You will be able to make it through the day if you hold thoughts of getting just what you need. You can also request your Higher Power to give you a break now and then and give you a good, deep night’s sleep. If you can’t go back to sleep right away, use the waking moments to meditate, read poetry, write in your journal or look at the moon. Your body will adjust to the new pattern.
2. Activity at the crown of the head: Tingling, itching, prickly, crawling sensations along the scalp and/or down the spine. A sense of energy vibrating on top of the head, as if energy is erupting from the head in a shower. Also the sensation of energy pouring in through the crown, described as “sprinkles”. This may also be experienced as pressure on the crown, as if someone is pushing his/her finger into the center of your head. As I mentioned in #1, I have been experiencing huge downloads of energy through the crown. In the past, I have felt more generalized pressure, as if my head is in a gentle vise. One man related that his hair stood on end and his body was covered with goosebumps. Advice: This is nothing to be alarmed about. What you are experiencing is an opening of the crown chakra. The sensations mean that you are opening up to receive divine energy.
3. Sudden waves of emotion. Crying at the drop of a hat. Feeling suddenly angry or sad with little provocation. Or inexplicably depressed. Then very happy. Emotional roller coaster. There is often a pressure or sense of emotions congested in the heart chakra (the middle of the chest). This is not to be confused with the heart, which is located to the left of the heart chakra. Advice: Accept your feelings as they come up and let them go. Go directly to your heart chakra and feel the emotion. Expand it outward to your all your fields and breathe deeply from the belly all the way up to your upper chest. Just feel the feeling and let it evaporate on its own. Don’t direct the emotions at anyone. You are cleaning out your past. If you want some help with this, say out loud that you intend to release all these old issues and ask your Higher Power to help you. You can also ask Grace Elohim to help you release with ease and gentleness. Be grateful that your body is releasing these emotions and not holding onto them inside where they can do harm. One source suggests that depression is linked to letting go of relationships to people, work, etc. that no longer match us and our frequencies. When we feel guilty about letting go of these relationships, depression helps us medicate that pain.
4. Old “stuff” seems to be coming up, as described above, and the people with whom you need to work it out (or their clones) appear in your life. Completion issues. Or perhaps you need to work through issues of self-worth, abundance, creativity, addictions, etc. The resources or people you need to help you move through these issues start to appear. Advice: Same as #3. Additionally, don’t get too involved in analyzing these issues. Examining them too much will simply cycle you back through them over and over again at deeper and deeper levels. Get professional help if you need to and walk through it. Do not try to avoid them or disassociate yourself from them. Embrace whatever comes up and thank it for helping you move ahead. Thank your Higher Power for giving you the opportunity to release these issues. Remember, you don’t want these issues to stay stuck in your body.
5. Changes in weight. The weight gain in the US population is phenomenal. Other people may be losing weight. We often gain weight because many fears we have suppressed are now coming up to the surface to be healed. We react by building up a defense. We also attempt to ground ourselves or provide bulk against increasing frequencies in our bodies. Advice: Don’t freak out, but just accept it as a symptom of where you are right now. You will release/gain the weight when all your fears have been integrated. Release your anxiety about this. Then you might find it easier to lose/gain the weight eventually. Exercise. Before eating, try this: Sit at the table with an attractive place setting. Light a candle. Enjoy how the food looks. Place your dominant hand over your heart and bless the food. Tell your body that you are going to use the food to richly nourish it, but that you are not going to use the food to fulfill your emotional hungers. Then pass your hand from left to right over the food and bless it. You may notice that the food feels warm to your hand even if the food is cold– I like to think that the food is good for me when it feels warm and nourishing to my hand. I have also noticed that when I practice blessing the food, I don’t eat as much. It is important not to let yourself off the hook when you forget to bless the food before you eat. If I’ve forgotten and I’ve nearly finished eating, I bless the food anyway. That way I don’t slip out of the habit. Another thing you can do is to stay present while eating — don’t watch TV or read. Heartily enjoy what blessings are before you.
6. Changes in eating habits: Strange cravings and odd food choices. Some find they are not as hungry as they used to be. Or hungrier. Advice: Don’t deny what your body tells you it needs. If you are not sure, you might try muscle-testing before you chose a food to see if it’s what your body wants. Also try blessing the food as described in #5.
7. Food intolerances, allergies you never had before: As you grow more spiritual, you are more sensitive to everything around you. Your body will tell you what it can no longer tolerate, as if it, too, is sloughing off what doesn’t serve it anymore. You might be cleansing yourself of toxins. Some people find they often have a white residue in their mouth, much like that of runners at the end of a race. Advice: An acupuncturist told me that this film can be removed by sloshing 2 tablespoons of cold-pressed olive oil in your mouth for 10-15 minutes (don’t swallow, whatever you do), then spitting it out into the toilet — not the sink, for you just removed toxins from your body and don’t want them in the sink. Brush your teeth and do the same. Then clean your brush. (Sorry this is yukky, but it works.)
8. Amplification of the senses. Increased sensitivity. 8a. Sight: Blurry vision, shimmering objects, seeing glittery particles, auras around people, plants, animals, and objects. Some report seeing formerly opaque objects as transparent. When you close your eyes, you no longer see darkness, but redness. You may also see geometric shapes or brilliant colors and pictures when eyes are closed. Colors appear more vivid — the sky might look teal or the grass an amazing green. Often I see grids running across the ground. As you become more sensitive, you may see shapes or outlines in the air, especially when the room is almost dark. When your eyes are open or closed, you may see white shapes in your peripheral vision (these are your guides). Advice: Your vision is changing in many ways — you are experiencing new ways of seeing. Be patient. Whatever you do, do not be afraid. Hazy vision maybe relieved by yawning. 8b. Hearing: Increased or decreased hearing. I once thought I would have to pull off the road because of the painfully amplified sound of my tires on the freeway. Other symptoms are hearing white noise in the head, beeps, tones, music or electronic patterns. Some hear water rushing, bees buzzing, whooshing, roaring or ringing. Others have what is called audio dyslexia– you can’t always make out what people are saying, as if you can no longer translate your own language. Some hear strange voices in their dreams, as if someone is hovering near them. You can either ask the presence(s) to leave or ask Archangel Michael to take care of the situation. Again, there is nothing to fear. Advice: Surrender to it. Let it come through. Listen. Your ears are adjusting to new frequencies. 8c. Enhanced senses of smell, touch, and/or taste. I notice I can now smell and taste chemical additives in some foods in a rather unpleasant manner. Other food may taste absolutely wonderful. For some people, these enhancements are both delightful and distracting. You might even smell the fragrance of flowers now and then. Many of the mystics did. Enjoy it.
9. Skin eruptions: Rashes, bumps, acne, hives, and shingles. Anger produces outbreaks around the mouth and chin. I had a dermatitis on my extremities for several months that accompanied healing an episode from my past. When I had worked through most of the issue, the condition was released. Advice: You may be sloughing off toxins and bringing emotions to the surface. When there is an issue to be released and you are trying to repress it, your skin will express the issue for you until you process the emotions. Work through your “stuff”.
10. Episodes of intense energy which make you want to leap out of bed and into action. Followed by periods of lethargy and fatigue. The fatigue usually follows great shifts. This is a time of integration, so give into it. Advice: Roll with the nature of the energy. Don’t fight it. Be gentle with yourself. Take naps if you are tired. Write your novel if you are too energized to sleep. Take advantage of the type of energy.
11. Changes in prayer or meditation. Not feeling the same sensations as before. Not having the same experience of being in contact with Spirit. Difficulty in focusing. Advice: You may be in more instant and constant communion with Spirit now and the sensation may therefore be altered. You will adapt to this new feeling. You are actually thinking and acting in partnership with Spirit most of the time now. You may find your meditation periods shorter.
12. Power surges: All of a sudden you are heated from head to toe. It is a momentary sensation, but uncomfortable. In contrast, some people have felt inexplicably cold. I have experienced both. More recently I experience waves or currents of energy rolling through me. Sometimes the energy seems so intense when it first comes into my body that I feel a little nauseated. But if I think of the energy as divine and let go of fear, I feel wonderful and enjoy the sensation. If you are an energy worker, you may have noticed that the heat running through your hands has increased tremendously. This is good. Advice: If you are uncomfortable, ask your Higher Power, that if it be for your best and highest good, to turn down/up the temperature a bit.
13. A range of physical manifestations: Headaches, backaches, neck pains, flu-like symptoms (this is called vibrational flu), digestive problems, muscular spasms or cramps, racing heartbeat, chest pains, changes in sexual desire, numbness or pain in the limbs, and involuntary vocalizations or bodily movements. Some of us have even had old conditions from childhood reappear briefly for healing. Advice: Remember what I said about seeking medical help if you need it! If you have determined that this is not a medical condition, relax in the realization that it is only temporary.
14. Looking younger. Yippee! As you clear emotional issues and release limiting beliefs and heavy baggage from the past, you are actually lighter. Your frequency is higher. You love yourself and life more. You begin to resemble the perfect you that you really are.
15. Vivid dreams. Sometimes the dreams are so real that you wake up confused. You may even have lucid dreams in which you are in control. Many dreams may be mystical or carry messages for you. And in some dreams, you just know that you are not “dreaming” — that what is happening is somehow real. Advice: You will remember what is important for you to remember. Don’t force anything. Above all, stay out of fear.
16. Events that completely alter your life: death, divorce, change in job status, loss of home, illness, and/or other catastrophes — sometimes several at once! Forces that cause you to slow down, simplify, change, re-examine who you are and what your life means to you. Forces that you cannot ignore. Forces that cause you release your attachments. Forces that awaken your sense of love and compassion for all.
17. A desire to break free from restrictive patterns, life-draining jobs consumptive lifestyles, and toxic people or situations. You feel a compelling need to “find yourself” and your life purpose — now! You want to be creative and free to be who you really are. You might find yourself drawn to the arts and nature. You want to unclutter yourself from things and people that no longer serve you. Advice: Do it!
18. Emotional and mental confusion: A feeling that you need to get your life straightened out–it feels like a mess. But at the same time you feel chaotic and unable to focus. See #45. Advice: Put your ear to your heart and your own discernment will follow.
19. Introspection, solitude and loss of interest in more extroverted activities: This stage has come as a surprise to many extraverts who formerly saw themselves as outgoing and involved. They say, “I don’t know why, but I don’t like to go out as much as before.”
20. Creativity bursts: Receiving images, ideas, music, and other creative inspirations at an often overwhelming rate. Advice: At least record these inspirations, for Spirit is speaking to you about how you might fulfill your purpose and contribute to the healing of the planet.
21. A perception that time is accelerating. It seems that way because you have had so many changes introduced into your life at an unprecedented rate. The number of changes seems to be growing. Advice: Breaking your day up into appointments and time segments increases the sense of acceleration .You can slow time down by relaxing into the present moment and paying attention to what’s at hand, not anticipating what’s ahead. Slow down and tell yourself that you have plenty of time. Ask your Higher Power to help you. Keep your focus on the present. Try to flow from one activity to the next. Stay tuned to your inner guidance. You can also warp time by asking for it. Next time you feel rushed, say, “Time warp, please. I need some more time to —–.” Then relax.
22. A sense of impendingness. There is a feeling that something is about to happen. This can create anxiety. Advice: There is nothing to worry about. Things are definitely happening, but anxiety only creates more problems for you. All your thoughts — positive or negative– are prayers. There is nothing to fear.
23. Impatience. You know better, but sometimes you can’t help it. You want to get on with what seems to be coming your way. Uncertainty is not comfortable. Advice: Learn to live with the uncertainty, knowing that nothing comes to you until you are ready. Impatience is really a lack of trust, especially trust in your Higher Power. When you focus on the present, you will experience miracles — yes, even in traffic.
24. A deep yearning for meaning, purpose, spiritual connection, and revelation. Perhaps an interest in the spiritual for the first time in your life. “Constant craving”, as k.d. lang says. The material world cannot fulfill this longing. Advice: Follow your heart and the way will open up for you.
25. A feeling that you are somehow different. A disquieting sense that everything in your life feels new and altered, that you have left your old self behind. You have. You are much greater than you can possibly imagine. There is more to come.
26. “Teachers” appear everywhere with perfect timing to help you on your spiritual journey: people, books, movies, events, Mother Nature, etc. Teachers may appear to be negative or positive when you are trapped in polarity thinking, but, from a transcendent perspective, they are always perfect. Just what you need to learn from and move on. By the way, we never get more than we are ready to master. Each challenge presents us with an opportunity to show our mastery in passing through it.
27. You find a spiritual track that makes sense to you and “speaks to you” at the most profound levels. Suddenly you are gaining a perspective that you would never have considered before. You hunger to know more. You read, share with others, ask questions, and go inside to discover more about who you are and why you are here
28. You are moving through learning and personal issues at a rapid pace. You sense that you are “getting it” quite readily. Advice: Keep remembering that things will come to you when they are ready to be healed. Not sooner. Deal with whatever comes up with courage and you will move through the issues rapidly.
29. Invisible presences. Here is the woo-woo stuff. Some people report feeling surrounded by beings at night or having the sensation of being touched or talked to. Often they will wake with a start. Some also feel their body orbed vibrate. The vibrations are caused by energetic changes after emotional clearing has taken place. Advice: This is a sensitive topic, but you may feel better blessing your bed and space around it before you sleep. I rest assured that I am surrounded only by the most magnificent spiritual entities and am always safe in God’s care. Sometimes, however, the fear gets to me, and I call in Archangel Michael and/or Archangel Uriel. I don’t beat myself up for being afraid sometimes. I forgive myself for not always sovereign at 3:00 a.m.
30. Portents, visions, “illusions”, numbers, and symbols: Seeing things that have spiritual importance for you. Noticing how numbers appear synchronistically in your awareness. Everything has a message if you take the time to look. I enjoy the experience of “getting the messages.” What fun!
31. Increased integrity: You realize that it is time for you to seek and speak your truth. It suddenly seems important for you to become more authentic, more yourself. You may have to say “no” to people whom you have tried to please in the past. You may find it intolerable to stay in a marriage or job or place that doesn’t support who you are. You may also find there is nowhere to hide, no secrets to keep anymore. Honesty becomes important in all your relationships. Advice: Listen to your heart. If your guidance tells you not to do something, speak up and take action. Say “no”. Likewise, you must also say “yes” to that which compels you. You must risk displeasing others without guilt in order to attain spiritual sovereignty.
32. Harmony with seasons and cycles: You are becoming more tuned to the seasons, the phases of the moon and natural cycles. More awareness of your place in the natural world. A stronger connection to the earth.
33. Electrical and mechanical malfunctions: When you are around, lightbulbs flicker, the computer locks up, or the radio goes haywire. Advice: Call on your angels, guides, or Grace Elohim to fix it or put up a field of protection of light around the machine. Surround your car with bluelight. Laugh.
34. Increased synchronicity and many small miracles. Look for more of these. Advice: Synchronistic events tell you if you are heading in the right direction or making the correct choices. Honor these clues and you cannot go astray. Spirit uses synchronicity to communicate to you. That’s when you begin to experience daily miracles. See #30.
35. Increased intuitive abilities and altered states of consciousness: Thinking of someone and immediately hearing from them. More synchronicities. Having sudden insights about patterns or events from the past. Clairvoyance, out-of-body experiences, and other psychic phenomena. Intensified sensitivity and knowing. Awareness of one’s essence and that of others. Channeling angelic and Christ-consciousness energies.
36. Communication with Spirit. Contact with angels, spirit guides, and other divine entities. Channeling. More and more people seem to be given this opportunity. Feeling inspiration and downloading information that takes form as writing, painting, ideas, communications, dance, etc.
37. A sense of Oneness with all. A direct experience of this Wholeness. Transcendent awareness. Being flooded with compassion and love for all life. Compassionate detachment or unconditional love for all is what lifts us up to higher levels of consciousness and joy.
38. Moments of joy and bliss. A deep abiding sense of peace and knowing that you are never alone.
39. Integration: You become emotionally, psychologically, physically, and spiritually stronger and clearer. You feel as if you are in alignment with your Higher Self.
40. Living your purpose: You know you are finally doing what you came to earth for. New skills and gifts are emerging, especially healing ones. Your life/work experiences are now converging and starting to make sense. You are finally going to use them all. Advice: Listen to your heart. Your passion leads you to where you must go. Go within and ask your Higher Power, “What is it you would have me do?” Watch for synchronicities. Listen.
41. Feeling closer to animals and plants. To some people, animals now seem to be more “human” in their behavior. Wild animals are less afraid. Plants respond to your love and attention more than ever. Some may even have messages for you.
42. Seeing beings of other dimensions. The veil between dimensions is thinner, so it is not surprising. Just stay in your sovereignty. You are more powerful than you can ever imagine, so do not entertain fear. Ask your guides for help if you slip into fear.
43. Seeing a person’s true form or seeing loved ones with a different face — past life or parallel life.
44. Physically manifesting thoughts and desires more quickly and efficiently. Advice: Monitor your thoughts. All thoughts are prayers. Be careful what you ask for.
45. Left -brain fogginess. Your psychic abilities, your intuitive knowing, your feeling and compassion, your ability to experience your body, your visioning, your expressiveness all emanate from the right brain. In order for this side of the brain to develop more fully, the left brain must shut down a little bit. Normally the left-hemisphere’s capacity for order, organization, structure, linear sequencing, analysis, evaluation, precision, focus, problem-solving, and mathematics dominate our often less-valued right brain. What results are memory lapses, placing words in the wrong sequence, inability or no desire to read for very long, inability to focus; forgetting what you are just about to say; impatience with linear forms of communication (audio or written formats); a feeling of spaciness, being scattered; losing interesting research or complex information; feeling bombarded with words and talk and information; and a reluctance to write. Sometimes you feel dull and have no interest in analysis, lively intellectual discussion, or investigation. On the other hand, you might find yourself drawn to the sensate: videos, magazines with photos, beautiful artwork, movies, music, sculpting, painting, being with people, dancing, gardening, walking, and other kinesthetic forms of expression. You may search for spiritual content, even science fiction. Advice: You may discover that if you allow your heart and your right brain to lead you, the left will then be activated appropriately to support you. And someday we will be well-balanced, using both hemispheres with mastery.
46. Dizziness. This occurs when you are ungrounded. Perhaps you have just cleared a big emotional issue and your body is adjusting to your “lighter” state. Advice: Ground yourself by eating protein. Sometimes “comfort food” feels right. Don’t make any food right or wrong for you. Use your guidance to know what you need at any given moment. Take your shoes off and put your feet in the grass for a couple of minutes.
47. Falling, having accidents, breaking bones. Your body is not grounded or perhaps your life is out of balance. Or your body may be telling you to slow down, examine certain aspects of your life, or heal certain issues. There is always a message. When I recently broke my ankle, I understand that my ankle was taking on what I myself refused to deal with. And that was all of the above. Advice: Stay grounded by taking your shoes off and putting your feet in the grass; even better, lie down on the grass without a blanket under you. Feel the earth beneath you. Get out in nature. Slow down and pay attention. Be mindful about what you are doing. Feel your feelings when they come up. Stay in the present. Surround yourself with blue light when you are feeling shaky.
48. Heart palpitations. A racing heart usually accompanies a heart opening. It only lasts for a few moments and means that the heart is re-balancing itself after an emotional release. I had one episode that terrified me: I woke up in the middle of the night, my heart pounding. I thought it was going to come right out of my chest. It only happened once and was, I understand, a huge heart-chakra opening. But I did check it out. There is nothing wrong with my heart. Advice: Remember what I said about getting medical attention when needed. Consult your doctor about any conditions you are not comfortable with.
49. Faster hair and nail growth. More protein is being used in the body. Too bad we can’t tell the body where to grow the hair and where not to grow it. (Or can we? Hmmm.)
50. A desire to find your soulmate or twin flame. More than ever before, the idea that we can have a relationship that matches who we are seems more desirable. Advice: The truth is, we have to be the kind of person we want to attract. We have to love ourselves and where we are right now before we can attract a more “perfect” mate. The work begins at home. Here is how I think it works: Hold the desire for this person in your heart, but without attachment. Expect that someday you will meet someone who is more suited to you, but let go of any expectations as to who this will be and how it will happen. Focus instead on cleaning up your own life and being the kind of person you want to be. Be happy now. Enjoy your life. Then you may see…..
51. Memories surface. Body memories, suppressed memories, images of past lives and/or parallel lives. We are healing and integrating all our “selves”, so expect to have some of these experiences. Advice. Keep in mind that it is best to recall what only what comes to mind, leave the rest alone, don’t analyze everything to death (because you will be stuck in the tape loop of infinite issues to process), and feel your feelings as they come up. Ask for help from your guides.

The Mind/Body Connection – left and right

In my Reiki blog, I mentioned my friend Elaine who is a wonderful reflexologist (so good, in fact, that she recently won the Student of the Year award at her college – well done, Elaine!). What I actually wrote was:

Prior to my website launch, I became quite stressed and noticed that this stress was being released through my body – but only on my right hand side (the masculine side, relating to business endeavours and ambition). I did not share this with Elaine, but after my next treatment she said to me ‘It’s very strange but all your problems seem to be on your right hand side’.

I’ve reflected on this a lot since then, and done some research on what the different sides of the body mean. I think for me personally that as well as the business connection, this also relates to the fact that I have been a lone parent for many years. Being a lone parent means that for much of the time you have to be both mum and dad to your child, and also means that you are running a household singlehandedly. Naturally this means that you regularly have to express ‘masculine’ qualities significantly more than you would if you were in a couple. Perhaps my right/left physical imbalance is an expression of the psychological and emotional imbalance created by me having to spend more time in my ‘masculine’ self than I would have ordinarily liked.

Another possibility is that my physical ailments are a reflection of the negative relationships I’ve had in the past. Or possibly – and more positively – the problems could be part of a healing process as I am now in a healthy relationship – which also means, of course, that I no longer have to overcompensate for the lack of masculine energy in my life.  (Interestingly, my partner has spent much of his adult life in traditionally ‘feminine’ roles – as primary carer of his son and  in his profession, caring for people with learning disabilities. Perhaps our combined energies are creating a balance for both of us. )

Do you find that your physical problems relate to one particular side of your body? Or perhaps you have, say, an inflamed knee on the right, indicating an issue relating to anger with a man in your life, and a rash on your left side indicating an issue around expressing the feminine quality of creativity. The book excerpt below gives a brief overview of this concept and may help you shed new light on your own physical ailments. (For more on this topic, check out my previous blogs on ‘The Mind/Body Connection.)

Left and Right Sides of the Body

by Debbie Shapiro

The right side of the brain controls the left side of the body and vice versa – the nerves cross over between the head and the body. The left side of the brain is the logical, rational side, involved with daily work, assertiveness and decision-making, whereas the right brain is the creative and intuitive side, involved with home life, relationships, feeling and insight. This applies to the body, and particularly if one side of the body tends to get hurt more than the other side.

The right side of the body represents the masculine principle in both men and women. It is to do with the ability to give and to be dominant or assertive; it is the authoritative and intellectual part of our being; involved with the world and work, our job or function in society, finance and business, politics and power. It reflects the feelings you may have about being a man and functioning in a competitive world or maintaining the breadwinning role: or about being a woman and having to work or be assertive at the same time as being a nurturing mother. This side reflects your feelings towards your own masculinity or masculine qualities, as well as your relationships with men such as father, brother, husband or son, and any conflicts you may be experiencing in those relationships, or towards men in general.

The left side of the body represents the feminine principle in both men and women. It indicates the ability to ask for help, to receive, or to surrender; to nourish and care for others; to be tender and caring; to be creative and artistic; to listen to and trust our own wisdom. It is the inner world of the home and family, of healing and gentleness and nurturing. This includes how you feel about being a woman or expressing you feminine energy, especially in a male-dominated environment; or how you feel as a man connecting with the ability to be tender and loving, able to show more caring qualities. It also reflects your feelings about the females in your life, such as mother, sister, wife or daughter. Any conflict in these relationships, or towards women in general, may manifest on the left side.

Finding the right balance between these two energies is not easy. In the last fifty years we have seen a shift from women being the principal care-givers and men being the principal money-makers to women making up a major part of the workforce and men spending more time at home. A woman making the change from mother to careerperson may feel that she is going against her essential nature – having to work late when her child is coming home early from school, or dealing with hormonal changes while giving a presentation at a business meeting. The resulting stress isn’t just due to overwork. The same applies to men. As their role is changing they are confronting the problem of how to get in touch with their inner feelings. How can men find the tender, caring, nurturing part of their nature when society says they are meant to be assertive and aggressive? These issues touch on deep questions of how to define our essential nature, and how to develop differing sides of our personalities.

Your Body Speaks Your Mind: Understand the Link Between Your Emotions and Your Illnessby Debbie Shapiro

The benefits of a stress-free life

They say that moving house is one of the most stressful events in life and I’m now inclined to agree with them. This wasn’t always the case. I’ve moved a lot since I left my parents’ home back in 1985 and I used to find it fun and easy. Packing and unpacking never bothered me – I quite enjoy it as I find it strangely therapeutic (see ‘decluttering’ blogs) – and the admin side of things used to be really simple – fire off a few letters informing everyone of your new address and Bob’s your uncle.

When I moved three years ago, however, it was a very different story. The rise of corporate culture at the expense of customer service (i.e. profits before people) combined with the rapid increase in the use of computer systems – ironically supposed to increase efficiency – meant that tasks which should have been very simple became an absolute nightmare. It took me six months to sort everything out, over which time I spent hours either on the phone (mostly on hold or being passed round from department to department) or firing off letters.  I also became increasingly frustrated and distressed as my actions invariably failed to produce any results other than unfulfilled promises and more wasted hours for me. This kind of thing would be stressful for anyone but as a HSP, it practically sent me round the bend and made me quite ill in the process.

As I’m currently moving house again, the memories of this time have loomed horribly to the forefront of my mind, though thankfully as I’m moving in with my partner this time, I have someone to share the load with. However, it has got me thinking about stress and the effect it has on our bodies (something I wrote about in my very first blogs on here) and how our attitude to those minor irritations can make a huge difference in our wellbeing and overall quality of life.

I’ve shared most of my adult life with two cats, Pyewackett and Binbag. Pyewackett (see pic below) was extremely highly strung – for him, just being alive was stressful. He constantly had hissy fits and was extremely possessive of me – wherever I sat, you could guarantee Pyewackett would be there too. This also meant that he was jealous of Binbag and would attack him at any given opportunity – until Binbag started to lash out when he came anywhere near him, at which point he started giving him a very wide berth.

I always used to joke that if Pyewackett was a human, he would probably be sitting in group therapy, clutching his forehead whilst bemoaning his terrible existance and all the minor stresses he had to deal with on a daily basis. He had problems with his digestive system all his life and when he caught cat flu aged 2, he became very ill, prompting two hasty visits to the vet in a week. No surprise, then, that he died suddenly having just turned 14 – I assume his heart just gave out in the night, as we came downstairs one morning and found him lying dead in the hallway. That was two and a half years ago and I still miss him now.

Binbag (see pic above) was a rescue cat who I got from the RSPCA. I should have known what he was like as he had to be woken up in his cage for me to get a proper look at him. He was so sweet and affectionate that I knew he was the one immediately. As for his bizarre moniker, it was his laidback nature that earned him that as well. I was struggling to settle on a name for him – I tried a few out but nothing seemed to fit. One day some friends were round and as we were discussing how my new black cat barely moved and had done nothing but sleep in the same armchair since I got him, one of them commented ‘I don’t know why you bothered getting a cat at all – you might as well have got a binbag and put that on the chair instead.’ Cue laughter all round plus years of embarrassment for me,  standing at the back door apparently shouting for a ‘Binbag’.

Binbag has continued to be a laidback sleepyhead throughout his life. If he had been human, he’d have been the friendly old bloke propping up the bar who doesn’t really contribute much, but who everyone likes as he always has a kind word and a smile for everyone. He had the same flu as Pyewackett and shook it off with a couple of sneezes and overall, has been in fine health for most of his life (barring his barrel of a belly). Recently we had a bit of a scare when he started sneezing blood and his eye became really swollen. In view of his age, I thought he might have a tumour, but it was just an infection and once again, with the aid of a few eye drops and an injection of antibiotics, he shook it off. Even the vet commented on what good shape he was in for a cat of his age. He’s now over 16 years old and still going strong.

I think you can probably see what the moral of the story is but I’ll spell it out anyway. If you too would like to live a long, peaceful and healthy life, don’t cry and sigh like the Pye  – life is too short to spend your days making yourself ill through fretting and getting wound up over trivialities.  Let’s all follow the wise example of the Binners – and let it be.

Indian Head Massage

Having been impressed by the effectiveness of Reiki, I was inspired to try another form of complementary therapy so on Saturday I completed an Indian Head Massage course. The course I chose is devised by the Natural Therapy Studio and my tutor was a lovely lady called Pauline Johnstone.  Prior to the practical course, I received a DVD of the techniques and a comprehensive manual for home study, covering all aspects of Indian Head Massage, including anatomy and physiology and information for professional practice. There were three of us on the course, which turned out to be the perfect number, and the practical was held in very pleasant surroundings at Pauline’s rural home.

I was particularly drawn to Indian Head Massage rather than any of the other holistic therapies for a number of reasons. Firstly, as I mentioned in my Reiki blog, I have been on the receiving end of this treatment and found the stress-reducing and harmonising effects of this treatment invaluable for getting me through a difficult time.

Secondly, Reiki is a very gentle therapy so I felt a more active and hands-on form of energy work would be a good complement.

Thirdly, on a more global level I feel there is a serious energy imbalance in our society and that many of us have become too entrenched in the lower chakras (I also refer to this in the vegetarian blog). Indian Head Massage is a therapy which promotes harmony by stimulating the much-neglected higher chakras (see illustration at the end of this article), bringing them into balance with the over-functioning lower chakras.

I’ll talk about this more in a moment, but first here’s a very brief history of Indian Head Massage.

History

Massage is mentioned in the Ayurvedic texts over 4000 years ago, so has long been a part of Indian tradition and over the past thousand years, head massage has become an integral part of Indian family life. It was originally developed by women to condition and strengthen their hair, using a selection of oils, and is now regularly used on babies and young children to aid their holistic wellbeing. It was also adapted by barbers into a more rigorous scalp massage, known as champissage. (‘Champi’ meaning ‘massage of the head’ is where our word ‘shampoo’ originates from.)

The technique we learn today was introduced to the UK by a man named Narender Mehta. Mehta studied over here in the 70s and was disappointed to discover that head massage was not practised here either in the barbers or as part of a full body massage. On completing his studies in 1978, Mehta returned to India and formulated the Indian Head Massage we now practise in the UK from a variety of techniques collected from all over India.

Ayurveda

The Indian Head Massage is part of the ancient Hindu holistic medical practice of Ayurveda. Ayurveda means ‘knowledge of life and longevity’ and is a system whose main aim is prevention, working with negative energy before it begins to affect a person physically and emotionally. In Ayurveda, the belief is that we’re all beings of energy and that the mind, body and spirit are all connected. Therefore, Ayurvedic therapies address the whole system and work to resolve any imbalance in the life energy, known in India as prana.

I’ve discussed the chakra system in depth in other blog entries (for an overview see here and for more detailed descriptions of each chakra, see here). If our chakras become imbalanced due to an accumulation of negative stress, this can result in blockages which can lead to emotional or physical conditions. The Indian Head Massage can prevent this by balancing the chakras, resulting in holistic wellbeing.

The Practice

Indian Head Massage is carried out with the client fully clothed (though preferably in a vest top and with no jewellery) and seated in a low backed chair. The use of oil is optional but in my experience, it does make working on the neck, shoulders and arms a little easier, particularly as some of the techniques are quite vigorous. If you prefer, a moisturising cream can be used.

You then follow a sequence of different massage techniques of varying pressure – some gentle, some more invigorating – beginning with neck and shoulders, moving on to the scalp and finishing with the face.

 

The Benefits of Indian Head Massage

There are many benefits of this treatment for which I can personally vouch, having received weekly head massages over a period of months. The effects vary from person to person and will increase over time. Below is a list of the benefits you may experience from this therapeutic treatment.

*Antidote for stress, anxiety, lethargy, mild depression and mental tension

*Clears the mind and revitalizes mental capacity, thereby improving alertness and concentration

*Improves creativity

*Greater self awareness, which often brings the change of a healthier lifestyle

*Gives a sense of peace, calm and positive wellbeing

*Increased self-esteem and self-worth

*Helps balance the chakras by releasing stagnant prana

*Increased energy levels

*Calms the respiratory system

*Improves blood circulation to the head and neck

*Increased blood flow nourishes head muscles that can promote hair growth

*Improves lymphatic drainage from head and neck

*Improves muscle tone and mobility in head, neck, and shoulder area

*Increases circulation of cerebral spinal fluid around the brain

*Increases general circulation by bringing fresh nutrients and taking away waste products

*Relieves mental and physical strain

*Relieves eye strain, headaches, sinusitis, congestion, and insomnia

*Strong healthy shiny hair

*Better skin condition

*Strengthened immune system

The three higher chakras

 

If you are interested in working for the Indian Head Massage Diploma, then contact Tara Jewell, owner of the Natural Therapy Studio, via her website at www.naturaltherapystudio.co.uk

Alternatively, if you would like an Indian Head Massage treatment yourself, check out Terone Williams’ great website offering mobile treatments at www.soulrevive.co.uk.

Reiki (part three) – my experience

Today I would like to share some of my personal experiences of working with Reiki.

As I mentioned in my previous Reiki blogs (you can find part one here and part two here), I trained for my 1^st degree with York Reiki Plus and would recommend this course to anyone from the York area who is interested in energy work. Irene Forsyth, the Reiki master who runs the course, is a lovely woman, warm and down-to-earth, and the location is a gorgeous little mind, body and spirit shop with a fabulous name (‘The Zentist’) so the ambience is very cosy and laidback. Prior to the course, Irene sends you a comprehensive 170 page manual to help familiarise yourself with all aspects of Reiki, the content of which is discussed throughout the day. I spent three full days working through the manual in some depth so arrived on the practical training day feeling confidently informed. You are also sent a couple of CDs to guide you through the Hatsurei Ho daily energy exercises and the self-healing meditation mentioned in the last blog entry. These are also practised on the training day so you will have a thorough grounding in these important aspects of Reiki by the end of the course.

Within Reiki circles, there is much talk of a 21 day (or in some cases, 28 day) cleansing period. Some say this occurs as soon as you start working with Reiki, some say this begins after your first empowerments (also known as attunements). Here are some thoughts on this:

Following the attunement is a 28 day period called the cleansing period. During this time, you are encouraged to give yourself a treatment every day and many students find themselves undergoing positive personal changes and spiritual growth which can be a very powerful and very rewarding time.

http://www.reiki-questions.com/reiki-training/Reiki1.htm

During this time each person will experience their own unique reaction to the cleansing period. NO two attunements are ever the same. Depending on which form of Reiki of Healing Modality you choose to be attuned to, depends on how long this Cleansing period may last for, generally they vary from 7 days to 21 days in length.

Reiki only works for the good of all, so during the cleansing period you may undergo a detox, that can often bring about changes in your life. The Reiki attunement can start a cleansing process that effects the physical body as well as the mind and emotions. Toxins that have been stored in the body may be released along with feelings and thoughts that are no longer useful. A process of purification prior to attunement is recommended to improve the benefits one receives.

Many people report experiencing some of the following things:

Opening of the third eye

An increase in intuitive awareness

Other psychic abilities.

A release of Negative Emotions

Changes in food preferences

http://www.thereikichain.com/Attunements.html

As the body processes the attunements they bring with them a deep cleansing and healing. Many people find they have increased intuition or creativity. Physically you may experience minor cold symptoms, headache, increased body discharges, etc. On an emotional level you may feel tiredness, have vivid dreams, surges of emotion such as anger/tears or old memories resurfacing which need to be resolved. Reiki will affect you in the way that is right for you and symptoms will pass in a few days.

Traditionally a 21 day cleansing period follows Reiki one. Practising on yourself daily will maximise the benefits. Once you have been attuned to Reiki one the more you use the energy the stronger it will become. It is common for people to find the clarity and strength to bring positive change into their lives.

http://www.renaissancetherapy.co.uk/reiki attunements.htm

Taggart King of Reiki Evolution, whose work this course is based on, has this to say about the 21 day cleansing period –

It is traditional within Reiki to think in terms of a 21-day period of clearing out or cleansing, as the energy starts to work on you as its first priority. Common reactions are to have a ‘Reiki cold’ or other respiratory infection, an occasional surprising migraine, or to feel quite tired and sleepy for some days during the 2-3 week period after attunement. Emotional ups and downs are quite common, and you may find that you are seeing things in ‘Technicolor’ for a while, with colours taking on an amazing intensity. For some, Reiki leads to a period of dissatisfaction, leading you to think carefully about your life and your priorities. For the most part Reiki works gently and seems to have built-in mechanisms to prevent the ‘clearing out’ period from being particularly eventful.

The ’21 day ‘ period is a bit of a Reiki myth, actually, because Reiki continues to work on you months and even years later, and it is possible that you will release things further down the line, too, not just in the first 21 days. Stronger reactions are more common in the first few weeks after going on a course, of you are going to have a strong reaction (such things are not compulsory!) though they can happen at any time, based on what is right for you. We receive what is right for us at any given time. We are all different.

We received three empowerments on the day and my experience of each one was very different, and differed from those of the other people on the course.

The first empowerment was very powerful and made me feel quite emotional. My head felt fuzzy and was filled with a violet colour and my heart felt like it would explode. The word I associated with this empowerment was ‘power’.

The second empowerment was subtler than the first. The word I associated with this one was ‘intuition’ – the right hand side of my head felt fuzzy and felt like it wanted to merge with the left. I also ‘saw’ an indigo outline of an eye. I initially thought this may be my ‘third eye’ but whilst looking for an appropriate image to convey what I saw, I found this symbol, known as the Eye of Horus:

Further research into this symbol revealed this:

The Left Eye of Horus represents abstract aesthetic information controlled by the right brain. It deals with esoteric thoughts and feelings and is responsible for intuition. It approaches the universe in terms of female oriented ideation. We use the Left Eye, female oriented, right side of our brain for feeling and intuition.

The eye of Horus, was originally known as the wadjat, but was also called the wedjet, the Eye of the Moon, and later the Eye of Ra. It became a powerful symbol that was used on amulets for protection against evil and was thought to have healing powers.

In the present day the eye of Horus is still a powerful symbol that can be offered as a gift in the form of jewellery, for example, that shows your love for another person. In particular it has connotations of selflessness and dedication as well as the more general functions of good luck and warding off evil forces and improve health.

The third empowerment I associated with the word ‘love’. This time it felt like my left hand side was trying to come into balance with the right – there was a strong buzzing in my left ear – and in my mind’s eye I saw a heart surrounded by rainbow colours, followed by a vision similar to the image below, which to me represents spiritual symmetry and balance:

I did feel noticeably ‘blissed out’ after the empowerments. Taggart comments that ‘If you are basically fine on the physical, mental and emotional level then the energy will not have a great deal to do, but if you have a lot to be sorted out, then the energy will rush in like a tidal wave and start to get things moving!’

Having done a lot of personal development work over the last fifteen years, I feel that mentally and emotionally I am ‘pretty sorted’ – although I wouldn’t be so bold as to say completely sorted, as we all have work to do on ourselves – personal growth is a lifelong adventure! However I would say that I’m very in tune with my authentic self, i.e. I know who I am, what my life purpose is and what I need to feel fulfilled and serene. On occasion, however, I do struggle with self-doubt – am I really on the right path? Is this really the right thing to do? Am I just kidding myself? – and as a particularly sensitive person, I have to be careful not to become too overwrought when faced with stressful situations. Emotionally and mentally, then, I feel that the empowerments ‘fine-tuned’ me, resulting in my feeling more balanced and relaxed and confirming for me that I am indeed on the right path, both personally and professionally.

Physically, I’ve felt some more powerful ‘retuning’ occurring, particularly around my sinuses (always a tricky area for me) which has resulted in a few headaches, and in my legs, which I have felt ‘vibrating’ in a sometimes quite disconcerting way. As my work is very sedentary, the energy in my legs has probably become somewhat static over the years, so I’ve been using Reiki on myself to get the energy moving again which so far seems to have helped.

I’ve also done several Reiki treatments on others, during and since the course, and have been amazed at how powerful this work is, as have been the recipients, some of whom were rather sceptical prior to their Reiki session. For instance, I worked with someone who is going through a number of difficult life events at the moment, and felt a tremendous amount of heat coming from her, particularly around her head. As this person has also been experiencing physical symptoms in her right arm and her left foot, I dedicated more time to these areas, and she reported to me the following day that throughout the night, she could feel something she struggled to describe  – “not exactly pain – maybe a little achy, but strange, a trembling or vibrating maybe?” – in these very spots.

I also worked briefly with a woman who suffers from M.E. and found that though the top of her body was very hot, she was effectively dead, energy-wise, from the waist down. Her legs have caused her a lot of suffering due to her illness, so it will be interesting to continue working with her and see if her condition improves through Reiki treatments.

In contrast to this, I worked with a couple of women, one who is very spiritual and another who feels fulfilled and happy in her life, and felt a gentle breeze – and a huge aura – around the whole of their beings. The second woman also reported that when I worked on her crown chakra, it felt like ‘the top of my head was stretching upwards – like I had a really long head!’  and when I treated her feet,  she commented that it felt ‘like I was sinking into really soft sand’.

I also worked with a very pleasant and contented child, and noted that the energy felt very balanced except for in the throat area.  Much of the Reiki literature advises not to analyse the sensations you feel when treating someone, but I do think that it’s interesting that the energy changed around the throat chakra area and children often feel that in a world dominated by adults, they don’t really have a voice…

All of the people I’ve treated so far have felt very relaxed. As I haven’t got a treatment table yet, I’ve had to work with people sitting on a kitchen chair but despite this a couple of them have still almost nodded off. I also end up feeling very relaxed myself when I’m giving treatments and also very hot – the heat coming through my body when I connect with the energy is incredible and one of my friends actually opened her eyes when I placed my hands on her navel area as she couldn’t believe that amount of heat was emanating just from me! I realised very quickly that I need to tie up my hair and wear cool, loose clothing when working with Reiki. It has also been a surprise how quickly the time goes when I’m giving a treatment. One of the reasons I never previously considered learning physical therapies was because, frankly, I thought I would find it boring! My work has always revolved around communication with words, written (journalism) and spoken (counselling), so spending an hour with someone in complete silence never really appealed to me. However, I find giving Reiki treatments totally absorbing – the time simply flies past and if it wasn’t for other commitments, I could quite happily continue working way beyond the prescribed hour.

As I said in my first Reiki blog, this is just the beginning of my journey into a whole new exciting aspect of universal energy. My aim is to move on to the second degree course in the coming months and in the meantime, I will keep you all updated on my experiences with Reiki. I would also love to hear about any experiences you may have had so please feel free to leave a comment or to contact me via my website at www.empathicguidance.com.

Reiki (part one) – my journey begins

Regular readers of my blog will be aware of my interest in the concept of energy and how it affects us all. My background is in counselling and for years I was predominantly focussed on the mind and how our thoughts and feelings about our situations impact our lives. However, as I learned more about empathy and metaphysics, I began to take a more holistic approach to our wellbeing. I realised that our thoughts affected our feelings and vice versa, and that these could not be separated from the body, as each of these aspects of our selves impacts the others. And I then realised that what connects all these aspects of our selves – and what connects our selves to everything and everyone else around us – is energy. It’s also through energy that we  experience such phenomena as  empathy, telepathy and synchronicity and it’s through learning about energy systems such as the chakras that we can take positive steps to improve our holistic health and bring harmony and serenity to our mind, body and spirit, individually and collectively.

I previously had no interest in practising any of the more ‘physical’ healing therapies, though I have enjoyed being on the receiving end of them, with some interesting results. Regular treatments from a friend involving Indian head massage and chakra balancing helped me through a particularly difficult time in my life. I also had a Reiki treatment which unblocked some negative energy which had been held for a long time in my left knee – I’d injured this knee whilst involved in a horrible relationship which had an emotionally traumatic event attached to it, and it had given me gip ever since. When the Reiki master laid her hands on my knee, I was overwhelmed with emotion as memories of this traumatic event flooded into my mind, and I vividly recall that this took me completely by surprise, as I had little knowledge then of the mind-body connection and how energy works. However I was aware that from then on, I no longer had any problems with this knee at all.

Despite these positive experiences, and despite my growing awareness of my own ability to tune into the universal energy on an emotional level, it still hadn’t dawned on me that energy work was something I personally could do. My interest was piqued earlier this year, however, when a friend of mine used me as a case study for her reflexology course. My friend has a real gift for this work and I was impressed time and again by her ability to pick up information about my physical and emotional state simply through contact with my feet. Just one example: prior to my website launch, I became quite stressed and noticed that this stress was being released through my body – but only on my right hand side (the masculine side, relating to business endeavours and ambition). I did not share this with Elaine, but after my next treatment she said to me ‘It’s very strange but all your problems seem to be on your right hand side’. (More on reflexology and Elaine’s practice in a future blog.)

I had also begun to notice that the presence of my energy seemed to have a healing quality for some people. A woman I know who was suffering from several stress-related illnesses reported to me how she always felt physically better just through being around me. One day my partner had an upset stomach which made him feel nauseous and reduced his appetite, so I lay my hands on his stomach. I immediately felt heat on the left hand side but not on the right. ‘Is the pain in any particularly place?’ I asked him. ‘Yes, just here on the left’ he said. So I held my hand over the warm spot and, even though I had at this point had no ‘official’ training, I channelled healing energy into that particular area. He called me later to tell me that he’d felt great for the rest of the evening and that night ate a hearty meal.

I also spontaneously used the ‘hands-on’ method for emotional healing with my daughter when she was suffering from pre-exam nerves. Despite being incredibly gifted, she gets very nervous when she has to perform, be it on stage or in an exam, as she sets very high standards for herself. As we sat waiting for her to go into the exam, I decided to channel some calming energy into her. I put my arm around her and placed my hands on both her shoulders, without informing her of what I was doing. After I let go, she suddenly turned round to me and said ‘Actually, I feel much better now, Mum’. When I told her what I’d done later, she said to me ‘I thought you were just giving me a hug!’ (She went on to pass the exam with distinction.)

To cut a long story short, all of this eventually led me to explore Reiki, and the more I read about it, the more I realised that it was the perfect complement to the emotional healing work I already do. So I decided to enrol on a Reiki 1^st degree course with York Reiki Plus… of which, more tomorrow