Living without money – Native American wisdom

Before our white brothers came to civilize us we had no jails. Therefore we had no criminals. You can’t have criminals without a jail. We had no locks or keys, and so we had no thieves. If a man was so poor that he had no horse, tipi or blanket, someone gave him these things. We were too uncivilized to set much value on personal belongings. We wanted to have things only in order to give them away. We had no money, and therefore a man’s worth couldn’t be measured by it. We valued the exchange of love, so we did not deal in fear. We had no written law, no attorney or politicians, therefore we couldn’t cheat. We were in a really bad way before the white man came, and I don’t know how we managed to get along for millenniums without the basic things which, we are told, are absolutely necessary to make a current civilized society.

– Lakota Sage Lame Deer (from John Lame Deer, Seeker of Visions)

New Year, New Start

It’s the time of year when many of us start thinking about how we can improve our lives and make positive changes. ‘Change’ is a word I don’t always feel is appropriate to employ regarding our selves, though – the implication is that there is perhaps something wrong with us which needs to be radically altered to make it acceptable. Our core self is already totally acceptable as it is and all we need to do is cut away the extraneous stuff – physically, mentally, emotionally and psychologically – to reveal that self in all its glory.

So with this in mind, I thought I’d post a reminder of my previous blogs on de-cluttering your life.

Part one discusses ways to de-clutter your physical surroundings – time for a spring clean!

Part two talks about getting organised in order to reduce your mental clutter – why waste your brain power worrying about whether or not you paid that bill?

Part three continues the mental de-cluttering theme with a look at how we can make our lives easier by clearing out our wardrobes and finishing projects.

Part four moves on to the deeper aspects of your world with a look at emotional de-cluttering.

Part five delves even deeper by dealing with your psychological clutter.

And if you’d like to check out all the blog entries with links to this subject, then click here.

Here’s wishing you all a year filled with compassion and contentment.

See you in 2010!

Wabi-sabi (part two)

In part one, we looked at the original definition of wabi-sabi, which can perhaps be summed up by William Morris’ statement: ‘Have nothing in your house that you do not know to be useful, or believe to be beautiful.’

In part two, we’ll explore how wabi-sabi can be applied to the rest of your life and how it relates to the ethos of Inner Simplicity.

Wabi-sabi is non-materialist and anti-consumerist

Daisetz T. Suzuki, one of the first scholars to interpret Japanese culture for Westerners, described wabi-sabi as an ‘active aesthetical appreciation of poverty’. In other words, it’s about removing the huge weight of material concerns from our lives and and instead living a simple and modest lifestyle, free from greed and its companions, envy and anger.

Losing your pre-occupation with the trappings of material success – wealth, status, power and luxury – will bring you a joyous freedom which fills your heart and soul. As the Japanese hermits and monks discovered, opting for material poverty can result in a life of spiritual richness and a deep serenity. When you are no longer desperately pursuing superficial goals, you will find yourself able to step out of the rat-race and live your life at a slower pace, resulting in a peaceful and more balanced way of being for both you and for those around you.

By living wabi-sabi and slowing your life down, you will also be able to re-establish your relationship with nature, taking the time to appreciate its many beauties and learning to tread more lightly on the planet. Being content with very little means that you learn to treat the Earth’s resources with respect and no longer squander them for the sake of temporarily fulfilling your ego.

Wabi-sabi means acceptance – of yourself, of others and of the way things are

One of the definitions of wabi-sabi which I found was this:  nothing lasts, nothing is finished, nothing is perfect.

Isn’t that a wonderfully liberating concept? Accepting these notions means that we can simply let go and let be.

For instance, when we accept that nothing is perfect, we can let go of our pursuit of perfection and appreciate the simple, unaffected beauty of things as they are – including ourselves. We are beautiful simply because we exist, and we learn to appreciate the beauty of our quirks and flaws – our scars, our stretchmarks and the signs of aging – rather than buying into our culture’s worship of ‘flawless’ (i.e. airbrushed and cosmetically enhanced) youth.

As well as ceasing to beating ourselves up for not achieving that unreachable goal of perfection, we also stop berating others for not being what we expect or demand them to be. We can let go of the fear which triggers our need to control everything and everyone and instead allow people and things to be as they are and love them for their ‘perfect imperfections’.

Accepting that nothing lasts also makes accepting our aging process easier and allows us to focus instead on enjoying the freedom which comes from the wisdom of age. This concept also helps us understand that adapting to the inevitable changes in our lives is a far healthier approach than fighting them. Flexibility is key to the wabi-sabi lifestyle.

Finally, when we accept that nothing is finished, we learn to live in the moment (the well-known concept of ‘living in the now’), rather than constantly regretting the past and hankering after an elusive future, resulting in us wasting our present by wallowing in ‘if onlys’ – ‘If only I had that car/body/partner, then my life would be complete’.

Wabi-sabi means being true to you

Living wabi-sabi allows us to discover our authentic self – the real person who exists beneath our desperate attempts to conform to society’s ideals, and who exists beneath all of the insecurities we’ve amassed due to our failure to live up to that ‘ideal’.

Being true to yourself and being happy with who you are helps you connect with that place within you where peace, serenity and harmony reside. By living within, rather than living without, you learn to trust your intuition and follow the promptings of your inner voice, and in doing so, you begin to express your deeper feelings and live, love and work in alignment with your true values.

And so you take the time to enjoy what is most important to you in life. A wabi-sabi life does not need to be constantly filled with stimulation and activities which sap your inner self – rather, it gives you the space to indulge your natural talents and abilities. Being creative is all part of wabi-sabi, which allows you the freedom to make mistakes and see it as part of the process, and to celebrate the imperfections of your unique creations. Or as Leonard Cohen said in his song Anthem :

Ring the bells that still can ring

Forget your perfect offering

There’s a crack in everything

That’s how the light gets in.

 

Wabi-sabi: For Artists, Designers, Poets and Designers by Leonard Koren

Practical Wabi Sabiby Simon G Brown
Wabi Sabi: The Japanese Art of Impermanenceby Andrew Juniper

Wabi-sabi (part one)

I’m sure most of you will have experienced the phenomenon of being followed around by a particular word or phrase. For example, I remember a couple of years ago the phrase ‘cut of his jib’ leaping out at me from a newspaper – and from that point on it seemed to be everywhere I looked for weeks. More recently I found myself being stalked by the word ‘labyrinth’, prompting me to buy a book on the spiritual practice of ‘walking the labyrinth’ in a bid to establish if it had any particular significance for me, as yet to no avail. (I’ll keep you posted.)

Even more recently, however, I’ve found myself being shadowed by an unusual pairing of words – the Japanese phrase ‘wabi-sabi’. Glimpses of wabi-sabi seemed to creep up on me in both written and spoken word, from a number of sources including the internet, books, newspapers and magazines so with my curiosity piqued, I decided to explore what this strange expression meant. And this time there was no doubting the significance of the words for me, as followers of my blog will soon see…

So what is wabi-sabi?

It’s a Japanese term which is said to be difficult to explain adequately to Westerners, and in my research I found a few differing stories about the origins of the expression – in particular there seemed to be confusion around dates – but here are some definitions and a description of the main principles of the concept as I understand it.

Wabi originally meant sad, desolate and lonely – ‘the misery of living alone in nature away from society – a cheerless emotional state’. However, towards the middle of the last millennium, wabi had evolved to mean simple, non-materialistic, ‘humble by choice’ and in tune with nature.  It also meant ‘the aesthetic of the people’, referring to the simple lifestyle of the ordinary samurai who lacked material comforts, as opposed to the warlord rulers who lived an ostentatious consumerist lifestyle. Another possibility is that this more positive definition evolved because the Japanese held the spiritual asceticism of the monks and hermits in high esteem.

Sabi also originally meant ‘to be desolate’ but its definition evolved to mean ‘to grow old’, and by the middle of the last millennium, it was regarded as meaning ‘the beauty of the natural progression of time’ or ‘the bloom of time’. Sabi is about taking pleasure in the beauty of an object which has aged or weathered, and about carrying the burden of years with dignity and grace.

The expression Wabi-sabi finally came into being in the 16^th century, thanks to the style and beliefs of the Tea Master Sen no Rikyu. Rikyu rejected the formal practice of tea ceremonies which he felt had become too ostentatious, exclusive and complex, allowing only a privileged few to participate. He decided it was time to bring the ceremonies to the masses so he built tea rooms like farmers’ huts with rough mud walls, thatched roofs and misshapen exposed-wood structural elements. He also made it an art to use handmade cups, pots and tea bowls, and utensils hewn from unlacquered bamboo.

Aesthetically, then, wabi-sabi offers an alternative to the poor designs, mass production  and disposable extravagance of our commercial world and instead embraces the simple, the well-used, the earthy and the unpretentious. Wabi-sabi is ‘perfect imperfection’, appreciating the beauty of things modest and humble or unconventional and finding perfection in the flaws. It’s about treasuring the old and well-loved objects you already possess rather than discarding them for new bland ones. It’s about keeping only the items which are necessary to us for their utility and/or beauty. It’s about working with natural products and celebrating the handmade – objects made by humans rather than by machine – and the soulful – music and art which comes from the soul rather than slick corporate soulless stuff. And it’s about warmth and comfort and creating a cosy welcoming sanctuary – spending time with loved ones in a quaint rural tearoom instead of an anodyne Starbucks; relaxing at home in a battered old armchair instead of an Ikea special; and snuggling up in a well-worn cardigan instead of the latest throwaway fashion from Primark.

And once again, the definition of wabi-sabi has evolved and now embraces the personal – our lifestyle – as well as objects and environments.  In part two, I’ll share with you the key principles for living a wabi-sabi lifestyle.

Vegetarianism – a step up the evolutionary ladder?

The human race in the 21st century seems to pride itself on its sophistication and civilisation. My belief is that we’re far from civilised and are, as Bill Hicks pointed out, only half-evolved:

Folks, it’s time to evolve. That’s why we’re troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything’s failing? It’s because, um – they’re no longer relevant. We’re supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right? There’s another 90 percent of our brains that we have to illuminate.

In the same way that we can now sneer at our ancestors for believing the sun was a god and that the earth was flat, and express horror at the fact that kids were hanged for stealing apples and women were burned as witches for being different, so our descendants will deride us for our primitive behaviours. Fighting over territory, satisfying lusts for sex, blood and power – behaviours which are occurring, albeit in small and often petty ways  on a daily basis in each of our own little worlds, not just on a global level. We may be able to walk on two legs, communicate using a complex language system and create some amazing stuff, but underneath all that we’re still just driven by base animal instincts and ruled by those lower chakras.

So how is this relevant to vegetarianism? Here are some quotes from people far more eminent than myself who articulate this far better than I ever could:

* “For as long as men massacre animals, they will kill each other. Indeed, he who sows the seed of murder and pain cannot reap joy and love.” Pythagoras, mathematician

* “The time will come when men such as I will look upon the murder of animals as they now look on the murder of men.” Leonardo da Vinci, artist and scientist

* “To a man whose mind is free there is something even more intolerable in the sufferings of animals than in the sufferings of man. For with the latter it is at least admitted that suffering is evil and that the man who causes it is a criminal. But thousands of animals are uselessly butchered every day without a shadow of remorse. If any man were to refer to it, he would be thought ridiculous. And that is the unpardonable crime.” Romain Rolland, author, Nobel Prize 1915

* “If a group of beings from another planet were to land on Earth — beings who considered themselves as superior to you as you feel yourself to be to other animals — would you concede them the rights over you that you assume over other animals?” George Bernard Shaw, playwright, Nobel Prize 1925

* “What is it that should trace the insuperable line? …The question is not, Can they reason? nor, Can they talk? but, Can they suffer?” Jeremy Bentham, philosopher

* “In their behavior toward creatures, all men are Nazis. Human beings see oppression vividly when they’re the victims. Otherwise they victimize blindly and without a thought.” Isaac Bashevis Singer, author, Nobel Prize 1978

* “The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” “To my mind, the life of a lamb is no less precious than that of a human being.” Mahatma Gandhi, statesman and philosopher

And finally, my original point summed up beautifully:

* “Non-violence leads to the highest ethics, which is the goal of all evolution. Until we stop harming all other living beings, we are still savages.” Thomas Edison, inventor

The reason I feel there is a connection between the way we treat animals and our evolution is this. I used to be a very strict vegetarian – then I lapsed. And with hindsight I can see that the reason I lapsed was because I was temporarily ‘asleep’ and living through my ego, my life ruled by fear rather than love. As I reawakened, opened up my higher chakras, and rediscovered my authentic self, I found myself naturally drawn to vegetarianism again (though I was never a big meat eater anyway, just the occasional English breakfast or fish and chips when eating out), and the final turning point came when I stumbled upon a video online similar to this:

The actual video I watched, which is no longer available, was entitled ‘If you eat meat, you can watch this’. Now, I am one of those highly sensitive types who can’t bear to witness violence of any kind, so I tend to avoid this kind of thing as I know it will literally haunt me for the rest of my life. But I thought the challenge was fair enough, so I forced myself to watch it (though I had to have the sound turned down, and keep scrolling up and down). What I saw was so horrific that it was enough to convince me that I would never touch any meat product again. It seems abhorrent to me that an animal should suffer such a terrifying and violent death, just so that a human can eat a meal which he or she probably doesn’t even appreciate that much anyway. When you grab a burger in your lunch break, your only concern is to satisfy your temporary hunger, and then it’s forgotten about. Yet in order for you to eat that meal, a sentient being gave its life. I could never again eat something knowing that in its original form, this food was a creature which spent its last few moments on Earth shocked, frightened and in pain. And on a purely energetic level, is this really the kind of energy you want to be ingesting?

As you cut through the swathes of negative conditioning and beliefs which have masked your authentic self, achieving inner simplicity and enjoying the fulfilment, harmony and serenity which come from opening up your higher chakras and finding meaning in your life, you will probably also find yourself gravitating towards a cleaner, purer and more ethical diet. As well as becoming vegetarian, you may also find yourself naturally rejecting nicotine, alcohol, recreational drugs, sugar, salt, caffeine and processed foods. Most addictions to these substances are due to a lack of meaning in your life, so it makes sense that an improvement in your emotional, psychological and spiritual wellbeing will result in these habits naturally falling away. Where the mind and spirit go, so shall the body follow.

For more information on becoming vegetarian, contact the Vegetarian Society at www.vegsoc.org. Or perhaps  you are already vegetarian and would like to  take it further and become vegan, in which case you can get more information from the Vegan Society at www.vegansociety.com.

Recession is a healer

Following on from my Meaning of Life blogs, here’s an article by psychologist Oliver James which I could have almost written myself. More syncs too – before I stumbled across this article, I was working on a re-write of one of my earlier blogs which coincidentally includes the line mentioned near the end of this article ‘You may say I’m a dreamer’ – and over the last few days I’ve not only watched a number of documentaries about the Beatles, but yesterday (no pun intended) I also read a magazine article about them which mentions the classic song from which that line originated.

If you’re interested in reading more of Oliver James’ work on this topic, I’d recommend Affluenza and the follow-up The Selfish Capitalist: Origins of Affluenza.  I particularly resonate with the article below as it correlates with my intuitive feelings about the current recession -  namely that the economic collapse, rather than being the catastrophe our media would have us believe,  actually has the potential to free us from our increasingly oppressive/depressive state and the meaningless pursuit of ‘stuff’, which in turn will give us the opportunity to rediscover  what is really important and enjoy true meaning and fulfilment.  Here’s hoping…

Recession is a healer

By Oliver James

The implosion of the global financial system was as unexpected and rapid as the collapse of the Soviet Union. The good news is that we may be about to feel as liberated from oppression as the swarming crowds who celebrated in the eastern bloc in 1989.

The past 30 years have been a shop-till-you-drop, credit-fuelled consumer binge. Almost all of us caught what I term the Affluenza Virus — placing too high a value on money, possessions, appearances (physical and social) and fame. This virus is very bad for mental health. People with the virus are significantly more likely to suffer depression, anxiety and substance abuse (booze and drugs).

But following the collapse of the old financial system in which both individuals and nations lived on the never-never, our Affluenza habit will no longer be affordable. Time for cold turkey. In the short term, as with any addicts cleaning up their act, there will be pain. At the most extreme, as recession bites there will be unemployment, which will be depressing for hundreds of thousands.

For millions of others there will be anxiety about job security. And yet within quite a short time, as our values begin to change, I predict we will start to feel a whole lot better.

When you stop to think about it, you have learnt to confuse real needs with wants: you do not really need an awful lot of what you buy, you want it. A real need is for things like emotional intimacy or to feel emotionally secure; a new flat-screen TV or a conservatory are wants stimulated in us by advertising and the desire to keep up with the Joneses.

Property is at the heart of our confusion of needs and wants. Take kitchens. Many of us have spent tens of thousands on “improving” ours, yet what do we really need from it? A cooker for cooking, a fridge to keep things cold, clean flat surfaces and somewhere to wash up. Likewise, most of us have houses larger than we truly need and have paid beyond what we can afford to live in more prestigious areas.

Enter the credit crunch and a complete reappraisal. Virus-free, we will start counting our blessings. If property prices plummet, we will not care — rather than living in an investment vehicle, homes are vital components of our existence.

We will also rethink our work lives. Nearly all the increase in family income in the past 30 years came from working longer hours and women joining men in the workforce. At last we will see that if you spend less, you do not need to earn so much, so can work less. Those with small children will start thinking twice about working such long hours, or if one partner is made redundant, think: “Actually, let’s just make do with less money and I will enjoy looking after the nippers.”

Affluenza values will be replaced by the pursuit of intrinsic pleasures. Interest, enjoyment and the stimulation of a real challenge will become paramount: things are done for their own sake, not simply to please anyone else. At work you will put promotion prospects and salary rises second to what you find really interesting. You will be like a child absorbed in imaginary play. Wherever possible, you will be looking for work that improves the state of your mind — not just the state of your bank balance or the index of your professional ambitions.

Cutting down on Having, you focus on Being. As you recover from the virus, your brain and body chemistry will rapidly change for the better. You will no longer be jammed in a permanent state of readiness for fight or flight by high levels of the stress hormone cortisol. As you spend more time with your partner, your children and your intimate friends, your levels of the love hormone oxytocin will rise. Levels of the depression chemical serotonin will normalise.

You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I believe there is good reason to believe this version of our future. It is true that the poor are twice as likely to suffer from mental illness as the rich, but a recent British study proved that having a low income or unemployment does not in itself cause psychiatric problems. What was critical was how much a poor person felt themselves to be badly off relative to others — hard proof, as in many other studies, that if you can stop comparing yourself with others, you can be poor and happy.

Long before the credit crisis, downsizing (working fewer hours, seeking less competitive jobs) was already mushrooming among the middle-aged. Surveys reveal that young people are increasingly likely to reject “greed is good” workaholism.

Remember the title of the Christmas No 1 in 2003? It was Mad World. The truth is that we have been living through a crazy time in our history and we always suspected it. We should be grateful that the credit crunch is going to vaccinate us against the consumerist madness and that, nationally and individually, we are going to replace it with authentic personal fulfilment.

The Economics of Happiness

Today I’m reproducing an article from Adbusters who are, in their own words,  “a global network of culture jammers and creatives working to change the way information flows, the way corporations wield power, and the way meaning is produced in our society”.

The basic message of this article is one which I have long subscribed to, namely that ‘money doesn’t buy you happiness’. As long as I have enough money to cover the basics – food, shelter, bills – with a bit left over to buy books and the odd cappuccino, I’m more than happy. I’ve found that inner simplicity is best achieved by living an outwardly simple life and appreciating the things which money just can’t buy – watching my daughter sleep, admiring a beautiful sunset (the picture above was taken a couple of weeks ago in my back garden), snuggling on the sofa with my partner or having a damn good laugh with my friends.  Experience has also convinced me that I’d much rather work for peanuts doing something I love than work in some soul-sapping career earning pots of money, just so that I can buy lots of  ‘stuff’.  Ultimately, I believe that the pursuit of your life purpose is holistically much healthier than the pursuit of cold hard cash. I’ll be going into this in more depth on my main site www.empathicguidance.co.uk in a future article. For now, though, enjoy the feature below and if you get chance, check out the Adbusters site for more thought-provoking pieces and interesting ideas for positive change.

The Economics of Happiness

by Tom Green

In the last few years, a growing number of economists have been discovering happiness. It’s not that they are spending more time admiring flowers, helping old folks cross the road, dancing on the street or baking pies for neighbours. In fact, these happiness economists are working long hours in soul-numbing ways, torturing data with their latest econometric techniques to force deeply buried facts to the surface.

What is different is that these economists are revisiting old assumptions and asking new questions. They’re not taking the neoclassical model of rational economic man for truth. They have been willing to learn from their colleagues in psychology. They have given up on the old assumption that the more you consume, the better off you are; instead, they are actually looking at the question empirically. Most importantly, they are bravely asking, “What factors make people happy?” It’s another sign of the coming revolution in economics.

Not everyone is welcoming this new research program. The results are terrifying Milton Friedman’s disciples. Consider this: once people have an annual income of about $10,000 per capita, further income does little to promote happiness. Worse yet, economic growth in most industrial nations, which has tripled or quadrupled our wealth since 1970, hasn’t made us noticeably happier. In some countries, despite all this vast increase in wealth and consumption, folks are less happy than they were a generation ago.

I talked to Rafael Di Tella, an Argentinean economist at the Harvard Business School who is deeply involved in happiness research. Speaking from Buenos Aires, he explained, “Some of the very basic things we assumed in economics are not consistent with the evidence. This idea that income is so important to happiness is not correct. All the evidence seems to be pointing in the direction that we are working too much. In fact, we’re happy if we work less. We are spending too much time on work and too little time with friends and family. So there’s a mistake in the economic models that suggest happiness will come from more income.”

How worried are those who believe society is but the sum of all the (selfish) individuals (with insatiable appetites) who square off in the market against powerful corporations freed of government control? Very worried. The Cato institute, a think tank based in Washington, DC, issued a 41-page brief attacking happiness research and its potential to undermine the “libertarian ideals” embodied in the US socioeconomic system. It countered with a creative interpretation of the data: “The happiness-based evidence points unambiguously to the conclusion that those of us lucky enough to live in the United States in 2007 are succeeding fairly well in the pursuit of happiness.” Perhaps Cato also interprets the stats showing the millions of Americans on anti-depressants, the number of kids who show up at school without having had a decent breakfast, or the proportion of African-American men spending their days in prison as other signs their ideals are succeeding. Unfortunately for advocates of laissez-faire, the happiness evidence keeps knocking over more and more of the most cherished economic beliefs.

Lord Richard Layard is a distinguished British economist, Member of the House of Lords and a committed advocate for reorienting public policy towards the promotion of happiness. After reading his recent book on the economics of happiness, I could not resist calling him up to learn first hand what his research would imply for Chicago-school economics.

“Economists often fail to think of the social externalities of the policies they promote,” he noted, “Many economists suggest workers should be ready to move to where the high paying work is, since this would increase income. Workers who move a lot would destabilize the community and family life. This would tend to decrease trust and increase mental illness.

“Another example is when one person works harder to improve their income, and feels extra well-being from greater consumption. At the same time, they make their neighbours feel worse off, because the neighbours’ relative income has worsened. Not only that, but the pollution caused by the extra consumption enabled by higher income also decreases happiness for the rest of society. So most economists worry about how taxes discourage people from working, but in fact, taxes can be encouraging people to have a less feverish pace of life and to focus more on time with friends and family rather than consumption.”

It seems almost unimaginable that economists would be now thinking of ways to design the tax system so that we work less, consume less and value each other and the planet more. But Layard would not stop there. (Advertising executives be forewarned.)

“One of the keys to achieving happiness is to live appreciating what one has, rather than wanting more. It is important that we not be totally focused on wanting something that we don’t have – that makes for unhappy people. So it’s not at all healthy for children to be bombarded with stories on the box that make them feel that they have to have this particular brand of clothing or this particular toy or train or whatever it is, as if they can’t be a decent human being without it.” Layard even pointed to the value of Sweden’s law prohibiting advertising to children.

The folks at Cato and their brethren at the Vancouver-based Fraser Institute are most alarmed by how economists are now training the happiness lens to examine the gap between rich and poor. As Layard explained, “It’s a very simple fact that an extra dollar is worth more in terms of happiness to a poor person than to a rich person. We now have evidence that shows the extent of the difference, which is roughly that a dollar is worth 10 times more to a poor person than to a rich person whose income is 10 times higher. The value of an extra dollar to somebody is roughly inversely proportional to their income, such that a little more or a little less money makes so much more difference in happiness to a poor person than it does to a rich person.”

For a 21st-century economist, what an outlandish idea! By spreading the wealth around a little more equitably, society’s total happiness can go up. After all, a CEO who takes home $50 million a year could have 90 percent of it taxed away without their total number of smiles dropping by more than a couple dozen, while that same money would be enough to improve the lives of the entire population of a small city in Africa.

No wonder the folks at Cato and other neocon “think” tanks are fearful. Might we actually deal with the legions of homeless in rich countries more generously than dropping the odd coin in the soiled paper cups they hold up to us? Might we find a way to transfer some of the wealth that has flowed for so many decades from South to North in the opposite direction? Imagine a world where everyone lived on at least $4 a day, while a few people lived slightly less extravagantly. Might we increase the total happiness on this planet?

Toward a Simple Life

This article first appeared on a site called Unconventional Ideas. (It’s listed on the Guest Essayists page.) I’m with him all the way until he talks about simplicity and security being unable to live side by side. Material security may be tricky at times  (though surely less so if you’re living the simple life Montaigne subscribes to?) but experience has taught me that  if you feel whole and centred -  a sense of holistic well-being -  then it’s possible to feel secure, whatever your circumstances. (N.B. It’s worth checking out some of the other essays as well as the rest of the site. And just one more thing before I leave you to contemplate this piece yourself – is it a coincidence that the author of this article shares the same surname as the essayist he considers the ‘greatest ever’? Hmmmm….)

Toward a Simple Life

by Shawn Montaigne

Michel Eyquem de Montaigne, the great French essayist (and, for my money, the greatest essayist ever), wrote just prior to his death in 1592 that

[w]e are great fools. “He has passed his life in idleness,” we say. “I have done nothing today.” What! haven’t you lived? That is not only the fundamental but the most illustrious of your occupations. “Had I been put in a position to manage great affairs, I would have shown what I could do.” Have you been able to think out and manage your life? You have performed the greatest work of all. In order to show and release her powers, Nature has no need of fortune; she shows herself equally on all levels, and behind a curtain as well as without one. To compose our characters is our duty, not to compose books, and to win, not battles and provinces, but order and tranquility in our conduct. Our great and glorious masterpiece is to live appropriately. All other things, to rule, to lay up treasure, to build, are at most but little appendices and props.

Isn’t that the best quote you’ve ever read? It is for me. For it speaks directly to what living an authentic life is truly about: being absolutely, unconditionally aware of one’s complete uniqueness, one’s absolute right to be here, right here, right now; that work and rewards and societal hoo-haws and goo-gaws and bells and whistles are, at best, minor; at worst, poisonous and life-destroying.

I think about stuff like this all the time. Especially these days, as I live on my savings account, considering ways I may make my way through this world quietly, with a small footprint, a creative soul attempting to live, as the Taoist masters put it, “the ordinary life.” I realize that I have spent much of my precious existence trying to fit in, a “well-adjusted” herd animal, the membership requirements of the herd the willingness to give up who I am in order to make a living.

Which leads me to a question: what, exactly, does “making a living” imply? That unless I am willing to sell my rare and fleeting hours to some faceless corporation, I am unworthy of life? Why must I “make” a living? I’m already alive! What insidious philosopher sold the human species the notion that “making a living” was in any way, shape or form not nonsensical? But for many years I didn’t question such a specious notion. I got along and went along, fearing the alternatives, which, my guidance counselor assured me, were homelessness, poverty, social rejection, and eventually death while clutching a bottle of paint thinner in some gutter somewhere. (She was very creative in her fearmongering with her charges.)

We are sold the notion that we are unworthy of existence unless we are willing to “make a living.” Then we are sold what “making a living” entails. Question: how many of you were told by your guidance counselor that the best life is the self-created life, the life of self-employment, of self-empowerment? How many of you were told to: go to college, pursue a “practical” degree (as opposed to following your heart and doing what you love), get a job with an “established” firm (the bigger the better, of course), get married, have kids, work, work, work, work, then if you are sufficiently worthy (and lucky that your boss hasn’t made off with your pension), you can retire to finally “do what you want”? Nothing is said for the quality of the kind of “life” you are expected to “make,” as if we are all the same, cut from the same cloth. We are in fact told that we must be the same, that safety is found in numbers, that by following the herd we will be “secure.” There is a very high price, however, for that ever-important security, for that regular paycheck. And few are willing to recognize it, but they surely pay it every day as they sit in traffic going to (or coming from) a job they hate.

So here I am, considering the alternatives, considering living a simple life. What it would look like. How I could make money doing what I passionately believe in. How I could help others. I’ve recognized that simplicity and security cannot exist side-by-side. Choose one, or choose the other. The first requires creativity. The second stifles it utterly. It is a frightening realization for me. I think it would be for anyone. But Montaigne’s words ring in my ears. They challenge me.

A simple life.

Time to de-clutter…(pt 5)

For the final part of the de-cluttering series, I’m going to talk about psychological de-cluttering. Over this last week, I’ve given you a brief introduction to physical, mental and emotional de-cluttering, with a few ideas to get you started. You may have noticed that I’ve shared these in order of difficulty, with the easiest – the physical de-cluttering – first. Dealing with the more superficial stuff which gives you quick tangible results, like sorting out your house, gives you encouragement and helps your motivation, as you get to experience the immediate benefits of bringing positive change to your life. Psychological de-cluttering however, depending on the severity of your issues, can take time and effort, so don’t be disheartened if you don’t see immediate results.

Here then are the final tips which will help you begin the process of your psychological de-cluttering and achieve ‘inner simplicity’:

• Firstly, realise that this is not about totally eliminating ‘your past’  – your past is an important part of your life journey and wiping it totally from your memory would be counterproductive.  The key is to ‘reframe’ your perspective of the past, looking back objectively from an adult point of view rather than reacting from your ‘wounded child’ perspective. When you can see the bigger picture of what occurred, you can begin to understand why it happened that way, and use it for your own benefit, learning the lesson offered by this experience.  The process of understanding and assimilating your past  will also  allow you to identify and break those negative patterns – created by your previously unconscious psychological influences – which have been affecting you and your life in a dysfunctional way.

• The process of de-cluttering is like stripping off layers of paint from an old piece of furniture to reveal the beautiful natural wood beneath. You’ve now reached the deepest, darkest part of yourself,  and all that’s left to deal with is your psychological baggage which is preventing you from touching that beautiful golden nugget – your core self.  What’s important to recognise here is that this remaining baggage is your stuff, no-one else’s, so it’s up to you take responsibility for yourself and deal with it.

• This means it’s time to stop playing the blame game. Blaming others for the state your life is in only breeds anger and resentment. Remember that everyone does the best they can with the knowledge they have at the time and that their treatment of you is usually influenced by their own psychological baggage. (And if there’s someone in your life who still continues to treat you badly, then you have to ask yourself – what is this person doing in your life anyway? Ditto if you’ve recognised that this person is one of those rare people who is just rotten to the core.) The blame game also works the other way – blaming yourself only breeds regret and self-loathing, so forgive your past mistakes by remembering that you too were simply doing the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time.

• However, if ‘victim’ is one of your favourite roles,  then it’s time to stop playing this game as well. Being a victim is demoralising and disempowering for you and off-putting and irritating for others. (Of course, it suits some people’s agendas to have you play the victim, in which case you need to ask yourself again – why is this person still in your life?) Take back your self-respect and stop using the tough life you’ve had – or are still having – as an excuse for not moving forward. All of us could create a ‘hard luck story’ out of our lives, if we dwell on it long enough – life is notoriously unfair so all of us have been through difficult times. As I said before, the trick is to see the lesson in your experience and learn from it – gain strength from your painful past (or present) and strive to overcome it, rather than passively succumbing to it. Drop the ‘poor me’ stories and the hangdog expression and start seeking the respect of others, rather than their sympathy.

• It’s also worth remembering that ‘it’s not all about you’. The irony of a poor self-image and low self-esteem/respect is that it can make you very self-absorbed and egocentric. However, though you may be the centre of your own universe , you’re certainly not  the centre of everyone else’s. So get over yourself, stop taking things personally and quit that paranoia habit. For example, just because someone didn’t speak to you, it doesn’t mean that you’ve done something wrong. Perhaps their dog just died and they’re too upset to speak – or maybe they’re envious of you and it’s triggered a resentful reaction, in which case this is their stuff, not yours, and it’s up to them to deal with it. If it really bothers you, then maybe now is the time to use those assertiveness techniques and ask them outright what the problem is. You may be very surprised at the response…

• If you are struggling to let go of your past stuff, then there are a number of things you could try. Self-help is a great place to start but you may find you need outside assistance. There are many forms of therapy and healing available today, so it’s worth checking out a few to see which would suit you the best – as well as talking therapies, you could also try some of the physical healing therapies such as reiki, reflexology, or EFT. Journalling is also another good technique – sometimes the best way is to just keep rehashing your story until it bores even you (don’t inflict this on your friends though – use a journal or visit a therapist). It really is possible to heal old wounds. I recently saw a photo of someone I haven’t seen in over a decade who once caused me a lot of distress and anguish, and felt nothing but a sense of fond nostalgia. Why? Because I worked through the pain, stopped blaming, refused to be a victim and have consequently managed to let go and heal the psychological wound.

• When you begin to psychologically de-clutter, you will really start to feel the benefits of learning to enjoy your own company. Once you reach a place where you like yourself enough to spend time with you, nothing can ever really hurt you in the same way. When you’ve psychologically de-cluttered, you will feel whole and centred, and those formerly traumatic experiences such as being dumped or betrayed in some way will simply not affect you as deeply. This is because you no longer need others for validation as you know in your heart and soul that you’re fine the way you are and always will be.

• Finally, remember that positive energy creates more positive energy. The more positive you feel, the more positive stuff you attract. You begin to naturally reject the negative stuff, as it simply does not feel right, and you have the inner strength to deal with any that does catch you out and manage to sneak past your newly honed negativity radar.

I hope this brief introduction to the concept of  de-cluttering has given you some positive ideas for lasting change in your life.  You will find it so much easier to express your authentic core self when it’s revealed in all its glory and not lost under layers of clutter – and consequently, so much easier to live the life you were truly born to live.

Time to de-clutter… (pt 4)

This week, I’ve been discussing how to simplify your life through holistic de-cluttering. So now you’ve sorted out your home and the practical side of your life, it’s time to delve into the deeper aspects of your world. Emotional de-cluttering is about checking out your present emotional and interpersonal landscape and making positive changes which express the authentic you. Think of yourself as a sculptor, chipping away at a huge block of stone to reveal the beautiful and unique statue – your true self – beneath.

Here are a few ideas to help you begin the process:

For an instant emotional boost, try avoiding news programmes and papers for a while. There’s enough to deal with in your immediate vicinity without having to deal with the collective bad news of the world, especially as the content has been so heavily manipulated and dictated by the people who run the media.  Most news consists of ’millions of people died a horrible death today’ followed by ‘meanwhile in other news – lots of politicians and businessmen indulge in smug debate whilst shafting the rest of us.’  Worrying, getting angry, feeling the pain of others and being riddled with guilt because you feel powerless to help is counterproductive  – what did the blanket  coverage of the Baby P case achieve other than mass guilt, anger and distress in the national collective conscious? If you take on this type of emotional clutter on a daily basis, you may end up disenabled with despair. A more constructive way to channel those feelings is to become actively involved in a cause which particularly concerns you and which you can do something about. Join Amnesty or Liberty or whatever group represents best what you feel most strongly about. Pro-activity will reduce those feelings of helplessness and replace those negative emotions with confidence and determination.

Another pro-active way to reduce emotional clutter in your everyday life is through learning about assertiveness. Being assertive makes the process of emotional de-cluttering so much easier and revitalises your relationships, as you will have the emotional clarity and space to reflect on what you want and don’t want in your personal interactions. You will also find that when you feel confident enough to speak your truth, your self-respect increases and you will receive more respect from others too. In her book A Woman in Your Own Right: Assertiveness and YouAnne Dickson lists the basic rights we all have as individuals – that is, the rights we deserve simply through our existence. Though the basis of these rights is not particularly new or revolutionary, you can use them as markers for your own self-esteem and respect, should you find yourself involved in any personal exchange which creates feelings of self-doubt and anxiety.

• I have the right to state my own needs and set my own priorities as a person independent of any role that I may assume in my life.

• I have the right to be treated with respect as an intelligent, capable and equal human being.

• I have the right to express my feelings.

• I have the right to express my opinions and values.

• I have the right to say yes or no for myself.

• I have the right to make mistakes.

• I have the right to change my mind.

• I have the right to say I don’t understand.

• I have the right to ask for what I want.

• I have the right to decline responsibility for other people’s problems.

• I have the right to deal with others without being dependent on them for approval.

(I will look at all these rights in more depth next week.)

One outcome of your emotional de-cluttering may be an increasing awareness – or even a sudden realisation – that there are certain people you no longer want or need in your life. Sometimes we hang on to friends who we no longer have anything in common with, out of a misguided sense of loyalty or obligation because they’ve been in our lives a long time. Or  maybe there are certain people who pollute you with their bad energy every time you see them – the selfish friend who only takes and never gives, the whining ‘poor me’ friend who never makes positive change but expects you to keep listening to their repetitive complaints, the critical friend who puts you down and sneers at everything you say…. So, go through your address book and listen to your intuition. If your heart sinks when you read someone’s name, or if the thought of seeing that person makes you desperately start to think up excuses to avoid seeing them, then maybe this is someone you should think about ditching. How you do this is up to you – you can either phase them out slowly or, if you’ve got the assertiveness bug, tell them the truth. Life’s too short to waste time appeasing and entertaining people you don’t really care for.

Your original family – the people who’ve been around in your life since you were a child – can be somewhat harder to deal with. Unless you’ve been seriously abused, then chances are you’re going to continue to see these people for the rest of your – or their – lives. After all, your family might have some really irritating – and often downright rude – behaviours and an annoying tendency to treat you as if you’re still the person you were at 14, but they’re still family and the only people who shared that familial experience with you – and despite your differences, you know you’ll always be there for each other when the chips are down.  However, this does not mean you  have to tolerate being spoken to or treated disrespectfully. In some families, the culture of familiarity appears to encourage members to speak critically and rudely to each other – or maybe scapegoatting takes place, where all the family’s negative feelings are projected on to and acted out by one family member. If your family is like this, then you’ll find a particular assertiveness technique useful (and this one is also effective on children) – don’t reward the bad behaviour. Refuse to engage in the old dynamics which make them feel comfortable and if they insist on continuing to talk to you in that way, simply leave (or hang up the phone) calmly, and minimise your contact until their attitude towards you changes. The trick is to make the relationship bearable and manageable for you so that it doesn’t add to your emotional clutter, triggering feelings of anger, guilt, depression etc whenever you spend time with them.

To minimise your emotional clutter, there may be other changes you need to make. When you think about your life, which aspects are you content with and which trigger feelings of frustration, disappointment, regret, sadness?  Your job? Your long term relationship? The place where you live? What steps could you begin to take – and remember, you only need to take baby steps, the change doesn’t have to be overnight – to bring you closer to the life which reflects your true self? (For some advice on a technique to kick-start this process, please refer back to my blog ‘The greatest gift you will ever give yourself’.)

Of course, there’s a good chance that your present issues exist because you’re weighed down with old baggage from your past. For example, lack of assertiveness can indicate long-term low self-esteem, or you may be attracting dysfunctional and co-dependent relationships into your life because you’re continuing to act out past family dynamics. Exorcising this past stuff – your psychological clutter – reduces the amount of emotional clutter you carry in the present – and I’ll talk about more about how to psychologically de-clutter tomorrow.