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Visits from departed loved ones – dream or reality?

June 28, 2010

A couple of months ago I wrote here about the sad loss of my cat, Binbag. Binbag had been my cat companion for 16 years so as you can imagine, I was devastated. My other little cat friend, Pyewackett, who grew up with Binners, had died suddenly three years previously and Binbag’s demise brought memories back of this,  as well as symbolising the end of an era for me, so I found myself  grieving for both of them and for happy times, never to be revisited.

I also felt a lot of guilt and concern about the way Binbag died. I’d noticed him acting strangely over the previous week and had begun to wonder whether he was perhaps going senile. His personality began to change – he no longer seemed to be his usual laidback happy little self – and he spent a lot of time just staring at his food dish, or seemingly staring into space. When I realised that he  was also beginning to struggle with his breathing I decided it was time for a trip to the vets.

Despite his advanced age, I still hoped that the vet would offer some remedy for his problems and that our old Binners would be back with us, right as rain. We’d had a little scare six months earlier when his eye swelled up enormously and blood started to trickle from his nose, potentially the signs of a tumour. Luckily it turned out to be a simple infection and a couple of shots of antibiotics had him back to his old self in no time.

However, this time it wasn’t to be. The vet examined him and told me that he had a lot of fluid round his lungs, which was why his breathing was difficult, and also appeared to have a swollen liver. To remove the fluid would have involved a painful operation and she said that at his age, there was a good chance that the procedure in itself would kill him. The swollen liver was also a bad sign and she advised me that if it was her cat, she would probably do the kindest thing – and euthanize him. Ultimately though, the decision was mine.

I was utterly distraught and completely torn over what to do. After composing myself outside of the room (I didn’t want Binners to pick up on my distress), I went back in and after a lot of thought and soul-searching, sadly gave her the nod.

It was one of the most traumatic things I’ve ever experienced. It all felt faintly surreal and the moment when the needle went in was truly horrible – I knew at that point he was going to die and that there was no way back from then. What made the experience even more traumatic was that his circulation was so bad, the vet had to inject him in his stomach which was clearly very uncomfortable for him as he squirmed in a desperate bid to free himself. The vet then had to hold his head up due to his breathing difficulties, so as he died he was looking straight into my eyes. As I stroked his paws and told him what a great little cat he’d been and how much I loved him, I saw the light finally go out of his eyes for good, but because of his illness and where he had the injection, he still continued breathing despite apparently being brain dead. The actual end – which in reality probably took a couple of minutes – seemed to take forever to arrive. I was heartbroken.

Over the next couple of weeks I found myself constantly in tears, unable to sleep and feeling desperately guilty about whether I’d done the right thing. Maybe if I’d allowed the operation, he might have stood a chance? He’d always been a fighter, after all. I also felt terribly traumatised by the manner of his death -   I’d always imagined euthanasia would be quick and peaceful but this wasn’t the case at all with poor Binners. My father, who was with me during all of this, assured me that I’d done the best thing for him and my friends and family all told me that he’d been a very lucky cat who had had a wonderful life, but none of this could console me.

I spent a lot of time over this fortnight pacing around and wandering  about aimlessly, unable to settle or concentrate on anything. Then one day during yet another aimless wander around my garden,  a bee began to follow me. Everywhere I went, there was the bee, buzzing around my head despite my attempts to flap it away.  I suddenly recalled that I’d heard of people being visited by deceased loved ones in the form of a non-human creature, and I began to wonder if the bee was Binners, particularly as it was a bumble bee (BB standing for Bumble Bee and Bin-Bag). So I said to the bee – ‘’Ok, if you are Binners and you’ve come back to let me know that you’re ok, then please give me another bee sign in the next 24 hours.’

The following day, exhausted through my lack of sleep, I decided to go for an afternoon nap. I always dream a lot when I have a sleep during the day, and this time was no exception. In my dream, I was in a strange house with my parents and daughter which was apparently our home. Despite the unfamiliarity of the house, I accepted that this was home and believed this to be real, until I suddenly spotted Binners curled up asleep on the floor. ‘ Hang on a minute,’ I said ‘this can’t be real! Binners is over there and I know for a fact he died. I’m dreaming this! I need to wake up!’

And I promptly did wake up – only to feel the familiar sensation of a cat jumping onto the bed. I sat up, eyes still closed, and was elated to feel fur rubbing against my skin. Binners was here! I was too afraid to open my eyes as I seemed to sense that if I did, he would disappear, so I contented myself with stroking him and was delighted to feel by the sleek texture of his fur that he was young and healthy again. He nuzzled against my face, and somehow wordlessly communicated to me that he was happy and at peace, and that he loved me and that I should no longer feel sad or guilty about him. And then he jumped off the bed, and finally I had the courage to open my eyes – just in time to see the tip of a black tail disappearing out of the door.

I lay in bed for a while after, feeling stunned and excited. Was that really him? Did that really just happen or was I still dreaming? I had heard about people being visited by deceased loved ones whilst they lay in their beds, so maybe this was what had happened here. When I eventually got up, I decided to do what I always do when wondering about something, and went on the internet to google it.

I typed in ‘dreams of deceased loved ones’ and came up with over a quarter of a million results. The first entry I looked at was a discussion forum which I felt would offer a number of different experiences, one of which may be similar to my own – and on the first page I viewed, under a comment which particularly resonated with me, was this ‘signature’:

 

It was the bee! And as you can see, not only is it a bee, it’s a bee who appears to be jumping up and down and waving at me, as if to say ‘Well, you wanted your sign and here I am! NOW do you believe it was me?’

This whole experience was of  enormous comfort to me and I was finally able to let go of the guilt I felt about Binners’ death. It was also a very exciting experience and over the next week I found myself sharing the story with a number of people. I live in Yorkshire where the people are very down to earth, and I expected that many would at best, humour me or at worst, look at me as if I was slightly mad. But amazingly nearly everyone I told, including those who I expected to be the most sceptical, had a similar tale to tell of being visited by a recently deceased loved one whilst lying in their bed. Each of these stories had striking similarities – no words were spoken yet there was a telepathic communication between them, the message usually being ‘I’m fine, don’t worry about me’, the loved one appeared youthful, well and happy, and there was a surreal feel to the experience, with the person being visited unsure whether they were awake or asleep. Further research on this brought up that same surreal feeling time and time again – that it didn’t feel like a dream, that it felt real yet the fact that the visit occurred during the night made them uncertain of how real it actually was.

Having considered this for some time and done a vast amount of research, my belief  now is that this experience is a genuine visitation and that for most of us, this is probably the only time when energy of a more ethereal nature can interact with us. When we are resting, our mind is relaxed and therefore much more receptive than during the day, when we are usually over-stimulated and stressed out by our daily routines. When we are lying in that limbo state – half-awake, half-asleep – we are also probably less likely to be afraid of a ‘spirit’ appearing before us. At rest and away from the harsh realities of everyday living, it seems all of us have the abilities and sensitivity of the empath…

If you have recently lost a loved one, I hope this story is of some comfort to you – and if you have experienced something similar, please leave a comment as I would love to hear your stories too.

Incidentally, when my cat Pyewackett died, it was a shock as it was unexpected – we came down one morning and he had simply died in the night – but it was nowhere near as disturbing as the experience with Binners. However, even though I was relieved that he’d died the way we’d probably all want to go – suddenly, without any prior illness, and at home (especially as he hated going to the vets more than any cat I’ve ever known) – I still felt guilty that I hadn’t been with him, particularly as I had heard him miaowing in the night and had just told him to be quiet. He was always a very talkative cat, regardless of the time of day or night, and there was nothing in his tone to suggest anything was amiss, but I still felt upset that I hadn’t been there for him in his last moments.

A few days later I was in a local supermarket waiting for a friend to finish her shopping. As was usual at this time, I was thinking about Pye and feeling upset that I hadn’t been there for him when he needed me, when I suddenly spotted this rather bizarre headline on the newspaper stand. It said simply, in huge letters  right across the front page:

“I’m happy to die at home.”

 

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29 comments

  1. Aw.. I “have something in my eye” now.. sniffle.
    But,, this is very inspiring.. and well written too (most bloggers I read are dull as shit) so.. have an internet star *


  2. I am going through what you did-my 14 year old Bichon is sick -heart disease and Cushings disease. She suddenly would have these sudden “collapses” like seizures without the shaking. Horrifying to witness as she would fall onto her side, paralyzed and rigid for a min ot so, moaning. She was fine after the first 2 times bu after the third, I could see she was failing. I decided to have a cardiologist perform an echocardiagram. This showed that her left valve was severely leaking-the cause of the collapses. We decided to try putting her on a med to help her heart work more efficiently. She has has no more episodes, yet I can’t tell if she is in pain due to abdominal enlarged organs from the Cushings. I don’t think it is time yet, but I so fear the idea of putting her to sleep. What happened to your cat then is what I fear being witness to.


  3. I’m so sorry to hear about your beloved animal companion, Marcy, and saddened to hear that you are potentially faced with making that dreadful choice. Though it is always devastating to lose a loved one, I’m sure that it won’t be as traumatic to witness – Binners had problems with his circulation which is why they had to do it that way, and many people have told me that their animal chums passed on very quickly and peacefully. However they go, though, it’s never easy – all we can do is remember the good times and the joy we got from sharing our lives with them, and comfort ourselves with the thought that their lives were all the more enriched from sharing their time on this planet with someone who cared for them very deeply. I still miss both of my cats very, very much but I’m so glad I knew them and if I had my time again, even though I know how much it hurts to lose them, I’d still choose to have them in my life.


  4. i have a cat named doushous it was lost at august 14 2010 that was the day that i see him playing taht was a hard rainy day i miss him then yesterday september 14,2010 ive got a dream about him in my dreams ive seen him that he got lost her one part of feet and hand i wish i see him in reality i miss him he was the special cat ive seen if i just see him i wont let her go so when i grew up ilike to be vetenarian to protect the lost pet dog and cats and others….


    • I’m so sorry to hear about your cat – I really do hope he comes home soon. You sound like a very caring person and I hope you realise your ambition to become a vet when you grow up – the world needs caring people like you.

      Warmest wishes

      Sharon


  5. My beautiful dog, Sally, died at the end of March at the age of 16. She’d lived with us for 13 years and she meant the absolute world to me. I was actually slightly afraid of dreaming about her after she died in case either a) the dream was distressing, or b) I woke up believing she was still with us and had to deal with remembering she had gone all over again.

    I didn’t dream about her until a couple of months after she’d gone, and it was the most wonderful dream I’ve ever had. In the dream, I walked into the garden and found her standing there in the grass, looking young and healthy. She came into the house and walked over to where her water bowl used to be. I went and got her bowl and filled it with water and put it in its old spot and she drank heartily from it (she had refused to drink in her last few days). I played and cuddled with her for a bit, then took her upstairs where my mum was in bed. We both cuddled Sally for a while until she closed her eyes and I knew it was time for her to go again. I took her into the garden, where the sun was coming up, laid her in the grass and she just sort of…twinkled away into thin air.

    Throughout the dream, I knew she had died a few months ago and I knew she wasn’t back for good, just for a visit and that I’d have to let her go again, so I wasn’t heartbroken when the time came to take her back outside. It wasn’t sad, I felt peaceful and grateful to see her again.

    She wasn’t herself at all in her last few days on earth and she was barely responsive, so when we said goodbye to her, we were saying goodbye to the shell of her former self she had become rather than the dog we had known and loved for so long.

    Since she appeared in the dream as her old, healthy self, I feel like she was giving me chance to say goodbye to her properly and find peace with my feelings about losing her. I haven’t dreamed of her since. I think that was her saying goodbye and letting me know that she was at peace now.


  6. Thank you so much for sharing that with me, Beth – what a beautiful and moving story. It really must have been some comfort to you for Sally to come back to you in this way and reassure you that she is happy and at peace. There’s such a different feel about these ‘dreams’ and I really do believe that our loved ones know that we are suffering due to our loss and return one last time to put our minds (and hearts) at rest.

    Please also take comfort from the fact that Sally was very lucky to have such a wonderful life with you, filled with love and friendship.

    Wishing you the warmest of wishes

    Sharon


  7. I am sorry to hear about your pets. I lost my fiance 4 months ago. His death was very unexpected. I still can’t get over the grieve. I don’t think I ever will. One day I feel like I am doing better and the next it feels like I have hit a brick wall and I am going through everything all over again. I had several experiences with him visiting me. It always happens in a stage of mind between being asleep and awake. My body is resting but my main is still fully aware of everything that is going on around me. It usually happens when I cry a lot before I go to bed. Several times I felt him putting his hands around me and holding me. Couple of time we actually had a conversation but I can’t remember what we had talked about. I know I wasn’t dreaming because I really felt him holding me, I just can’t remember what we have talked about. I can’t ask anybody if this is normal because nothing about this experience is normal but did this happen to anyone before. If there is anyone out there how had similar experience, please respond and let me know that I am not going crazy…..


  8. Aneta, I am so so sorry to hear about your fiance. Four months is a very short time so you probably have quite a way to go through the grief process, so the way you are feeling is quite normal.

    Since publishing this blog and sharing my experience about my cat coming to visit me after he died with other people, I have had many, many people share similar experiences with me, including people who I would have expected to be more sceptical about such things. So I can assure that you are not going crazy and that I truly believe your fiance has visited you to reassure you that he loves and that he’s at peace.

    I hope this helps, Aneta – I will send healing energy to you too.

    Take care,

    Sharon


  9. Sharon,

    I stumbled across your blog just now as I was googling just as you were after your experience. This is because last night I experienced something similar to what you described, and reading your words really resonated with me.

    Last July, my dearly beloved grandmother (“Nona” as we referred to her in Italian) passed away after a long battle with Alzheimers. As she lay there on her death bed, I looked into her eyes and told her that we’d see each other again before I saw the life disappear from them and the doctor pronounced her dead. It has been seven months since that day. I am finishing up teacher’s college this year, and am faced with so much uncertainty about what to do with my life next year that I found myself fearful and stressed out for the last few nights. When I went to bed, however, something wonderful happened. I found myself standing in a beautiful forested area, the sun hanging low in the sky and casting a warm orange glow on the whole place. Behind me, tucked into the trees was a church resembling the one where we had her funeral and nearby was a pristine lake with a dock. The entire area was beautiful and peaceful and standing on the dock was Nona! She and I sat on the steps to the church and talked, and I only remember one thing she said, but it touched me to the core.

    “You have to live for yourself”

    I would have been more skeptical, except that she spoke it in Italian just as she would have in life, and I took this to mean that she is proud of me whatever the decision I make for my future. At this point in my life, knowing that this is how she feels and seeing her okay meant a lot to me. I went to hug her, and at first she seemed hesitant and concerned, probably because she didn’t want to make me sad, but she eventually caved and I got the chance to feel close and safe in Nona’s arms…a feeling I have missed dearly since her passing. I woke up in bed around 6 this morning with tears streaming down my face but they were tears of joy not sadness. I’ve been thinking about it all day, and it really brought me a sense of peace.

    Anyway, I just thought I would share. Thank you for your blog; it made me feel like I’m not alone in this. :)


    • Thank you so much for sharing this, Adam – what a beautiful and moving experience. I’m so thrilled for you that you had the opportunity to see your beloved Nona again and how wonderful that she spoke such wise and loving words to you. I’m honoured that you chose to share this with me and I’m so pleased that this post resonated with you and was of some comfort to you.

      Thanks again.

      Warmest wishes

      Sharon


  10. I experienced something today that will stay with me the rest of my life. I was sitting at the kitchen table, playing a game on my laptop, when suddenly, out of the corner of my eye, I glanced into the laundry room and saw my garbage can top swaying back and forth, as though someone had just thrown something into the trash!

    I thought I was going nuts! My brother recently passed away and previously I was on the phone with my sis in law and we talking about him and my late Dad, whom everyone loved even though he was outspoken, yet very loving but mischievous.

    Is this a sign or am I going crazy? This has never happened to me before and instead of feeling comforted, I am very nervous.

    Help!


    • Hi Laura

      I’m so sorry to hear about your brother. I’m sure that he wouldn’t do anything which would scare you – when our loved ones come to us, they appear for a reason and that reason is usually to make us feel better about their passing.

      I’m just wondering why this has made you feel nervous if you feel it could have been your brother? And I think we all feel like we’re going a little crazy at first when we do get a sign from our deceased loved one, so don’t worry too much about that!

      I would really like to hear more from you about this, Laura, and to see how you feel now so please do get in touch again – hopefully you feel a little less disturbed by this incident but if not, perhaps we can discuss it further.

      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  11. Hi Sharon,

    I spoke to several people including my brother’s wife, who were very happy to know that my brother and Dad are trying to get in touch with me, since I’ve been talking about them a lot lately.

    My best friend informed that my Dad was always cleaning up, throwing things out, washing clothes, etc., for us ever since Mom passed away, and she told me what better way for Dad to get in touch than to catch my eye while he swings the trash can top…lol!

    It’s one thing to have a dream, but to actually “see” something like this happen for the first time was unnerving. Now, after talking to a few people that are open to these things, I am feeling better.

    Now, if they could only predict some lottery numbers for me!

    Laura


    • Hi Laura

      Thank you for replying – I’m so glad that you feel better about your experience. I love the story about your dad always tidying up – perhaps he was trying to make sure you keep up the good work for him!

      It’s also really heartwarming that your experience has been a comfort to others. Do let me know if you have any more – especially if they give you those lottery numbers ;)

      Warmest wishes to you
      Sharon


  12. Sharon,
    I can totally relate to you story about Binners. I had to put my cat Stevie to sleep on November 16 and I miss him terribly. Has visited me three times since. Each time he looked young and healthy. The first time was within a few days of his passing and I believe he wanted me to know he was okay. The last time was recently and the best. In my dream I picked him up and “felt” him just as you had with Binners. He was his chunky little self and his fur was silky and he was purring and breathing in my ear like he used to. I even felt as if I could feel his breath on my skin. It was wonderful!

    We are visited by the not only the people we loved in life, but our pets too!


  13. Thank you for your comment, Angela. I’m so sorry to hear about Stevie, I know how heartbreaking it is to lose your beloved animal friends. Those dreams sound wonderful! I so look forward to my cats visiting me in my dreams and always feel wistfully happy to have spent time with them afterwards.

    Thank you for your blog too :)


  14. Hi Sharon,
    In 2000 I lost a friend to a small plane crash. About three weeks later, I had a “dream” that he was sitting in the chair that my grandmother had died in a few years before. I was sitting across from him in my grandmothers living room. He started talking and seemed to have somethhing important to say, but although I could hear his voice I couldnt understand what he was saying. He pulled out a pen and paper and wrote down what he wanted to tell me. He reached over and I took the note but for the life of me I couldnt read the writing!! It seemed blurry. I could tell My friend was a little frusterated by this, and the “dream” ended. It may be worth noting that this experience was a real is i’m sitting here now, typing this. This visit changed my life. Even though I couldnt understand what he was trying to tell me, just the visit and the realness of it was enough for me. I’m so greatful for his gift.
    I dont want to go on and on, but I can sympathize with you about your precious cats. My dog was put down, and it was the most traumatic day of my life. I was on the floor holding his head, and a few seconds after the vet had injected the medicine, I felt chumlys soul pass right through me! It was a very strange feeling, almost that his soul was ancient. The world is truly a mysterious place!


    • Hi Dawn, thank you so much for sharing your experiences. I’m so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend and dog but fascinated by your dream and your description of Chumly’s soul passing through you. I agree, I think such experiences are life changing as they show us that there really is more to our universe than the scientists and cynics would have us believe! I am intrigued by the message your friend ws trying to share with you – I’ve had similar dreams where someone passes what I know is an important message on to me, but when I wake I can’t for the life of me recall what it was. Very frustrating but I’m sure if it’s as important as it appears to be, it will get to me some other way.

      Thank you again, Dawn – really enjoyed your comment.

      Warmest wishes – Sharon


  15. I lost my beloved cat a fortnight ago. Feeling my heart break was a harrowing experience, I’m sure you understand. The acute hollowness I felt for a time has since been replaced with a reluctant acceptance. As a photographer, I find I lose myself in his photos, though this obsession is too subsiding. In contrast, my remaining cats are unflappable. I can’t recall a time when they were happier; perhaps meal times – my little heathens.

    This evening while lolling in the yard, preferring to supervise my cats’ romps in their exploits, I was aware that one of my cats had zoomed passed me in yet another show of
    frenzied excitement only to release seconds later, the assumed cat appeared from behind a partitioned gate, in fact all three cats were behind the slightly ajar gate.

    Though I wouldn’t wager on what I thought I’d heard and felt, for if I was to do so, I’d be suggesting Mark Anthony was the culprit. I’m sure after two weeks he’s well and truly dead – I can’t believe I just typed that. I’ve since begun to reason that Ginger, Lana and Salem’s remarkable happiness is due to a presence so delightful, it can only be that of Mark Anthony. Sadly, I’m not entirely convinced of this myself.

    I long for the night I dream of him, to see him once more, to feel him and hear him, his unique little smell would utterly soothe me. I’d even tell my other cats “Mark Anthony’s my favourite!” truly smitten I was. I hope I dream of him as lucidly as many of you have – perhaps it’s still too soon? It feels good to finally talk about him and I liked reading about the love others shared with their pets, a comfort.

    Sharon your story was stellar…

    Nina…


    • Hi Nina

      Thank you for your comment – there have been so many thoughtful and moving comments for this blog post, it’s touching to see how many people resonate with this experience.

      I’m so sorry to hear of your loss, it is truly heartbreaking to lose one of your animal friends.

      I am 100% certain that he will come back to you in your dreams – mine do so every few weeks and I always wake up feeling both happy and sad – happy to have spent time with them again but sad that they’re not around when I wake.

      Thank you so much for sharing, Nina, and I’m so pleased that this post was of some comfort to you.

      Warmest wishes to you
      Sharon


  16. Thank you for wrting this post. I have been very upset about my cat, named Chicken, whom recently passing over. My cat visited me the late morning after she died in my sleep yesterday. I saw her and she was so happy and so healthy. Her fur was so fluffy and she really looked her best. She was purring and rubbing her face on me. I actually said to her that ‘people were saying that you are dead’, I said ‘why would they say that. Your alive?!’ She continued to rub her face on me and I was stoking her and I could feel the weight of her body. It was so real.
    She was an old cat and I rescued her as she was homeless. She lived with me for five years. I feel terribly bad because I feel as if her death was my fault. The vet made my partner put her to sleep.
    I am so happy that she visited me but I just wanted someone elses opinion who has had the same situation happen to them to let me know what they thought.
    As soon as she visited me I suddenly woke up and could remember everything that happened.
    I still feel so sad that she is not here any more but feel a tiny bit better that she came back to see me. I have never had an animal visit me before. However I feel full of guilt with this cat and so wonder if this is the reason that she came to see me?
    I really really loved my cat.
    Claire Owen


    • Hi Claire

      I’m so sorry to hear about the sad loss of Chicken – having lost two much loved cats myself, I know how heartbroken you must be feeling right now. As you will have read in my article, I had the same experience as you – I felt very guilty after making the very difficult decision to put Binbag to sleep but I really do feel that he came back to let me know that he was fine and that he loved me very much and that I had no need to feel guilt. He was also a rescue cat and his visit really comforted me – after that I just focussed on the fact that I had given him the best home and life that he could have had and enjoyed my memories of the many happy years we spent together.

      You sound like a really kind, sensitive person and I know that Chicken will want you to celebrate the good times you had together, knowing that one day you’ll be together again. I still feel my lovely cats around now, rubbing against me and jumping on the bed, so I’m pretty sure their energy stays with us while we’re still on this plane too.

      Thank you for sharing your story, Claire – do come back and let me know how things go for you.

      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  17. my big brother died jan 18 2009 of suicide. I was the last to speak to him and the note he left was to me.. my life since then has been ruined. I quit my job moved in to my car and started using meth. I was hospitalized a year ago for 27 days due to hanging myself so i could be with darren again. I havent been that sad in all my life. I started seeing the number 18 like 5 10 times a day, everywhere. he was born on 10 18 70 and died on 01 18 09. he was drunk when he died and I know that he didnt really mean to do it.. please help me want to live again.. tell me something positive… ctooley74@gmail.com my name is christine


    • Hi Christine
      Sorry it’s taken so long for me to respond to this – it’s been a while since I’ve visited this blog as I’ve been busy with other projects.
      I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother. Clearly it has affected you very deeply and it sounds to me as if what you are experiencing is beyond normal grief, but is actually severe trauma.
      It does sound as if your brother is trying to get a message out to you through the number 18 as he will know that this is significant to you in relation to him. This will be his way of letting you know that he is at peace now but that his presence will always be with you. I know that as he loves you very much he would be devastated to think that you’re suffering so deeply due to his passing.
      Do please seek out some help for your bereavement – in the UK we have a specialist bereavement counselling service called Cruse – do you have something similar where you live?
      I wish you all the best, Christine, and am sending you healing energy to help ease your pain.
      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  18. I have had a similar experience. Although it was my husband who passed at home after a courageous fight with pancreatic cancer. He was surrounded by his family when he passed. About 3 weeks later i had fallen back to sleep in the early morning. I had a feeling that someone had entered the room so i turned to look and my husband was standing there. He looked healthy and younger. He had a big smile on his face.
    Although i was still asleep i know this was real. after i had said how happy i was to see him he let me know he was ok. We had a conversation and i was awaken by the sounds of others in the house. I so dearly want to see him again and hope every night when i go to sleep that he will visit me again.


    • Hi Maureen
      Thank you so much for your comment. I’m so sorry to hear about your husband and was very moved to hear about how he came back to let you know he was okay. The wonderful thing about these experiences is the fact that they all have three factors in common – our departed loved ones always appear younger and healthy to us, they always return to reassure us and even though there is a dream-like quality about these experiences, they are different to our usual dreams and feel very real. I feel sure that he will come back to see you again, particularly as he knows that you are open to meeting him in this way. Something you could try is having a conversation with him prior to sleeping to let him know that you’re happy to see him again, if that’s what he’d like. Then just let it go and see what happens :)
      Warmest wishes to you – Sharon


  19. Some of these experiences are so similar to mine, I feel compelled to write mine. My beautiful cat Maggie passed in December 2013 and it was devastating. I had her for nearly 14 years, she came into my life with her sister when I was 7. She developed oral cancer and within a month it grew so large that we had to let her go. She was at home surrounded by her family as slipped away as we held her and told her we loved her; I’ve never experienced anything so heartbreaking in my life. I have studied away at uni since 2011 so was only home for days before she passed, I slept with her every night and knew it was her time. Her sister has heart disease and went into heart failure in June 2012, she has done amazingly well, the vets call her a miracle, she was given a month to live in October 2012 and she has lived happily for 1year and 8months since her diagnosis of HCM and heart failure which is pretty much unheard of! She is with us now and we know she won’t be here much longer, I just hope she can hold on until I finish my degree in May but she is still doing well and is happy so I have my hopes up.

    I like others was scared of dreaming of Maggie in case it was distressing or I was too heartbroken to wake up knowing she was not physically with us. Before I went to sleep I had been thinking of her and I said to myself, I just want to see her and tell her I love her again. Last night I finally dreamt of her, and it was astonishingly beautiful.

    (I’m currently at uni as I write this) In the dream I was in my home, the bottom half was my family home in which she lived and the top half my university home. Lisa was in the dream, she kept running from me and I finally picked her up and I said “Lisa why are you running from me silly!” and she replied “You keep leaving me to go to back to uni!” so I reassured her “I love you more than anything, I don’t want to leave you but I need to complete this degree, I’ll be home soon I promise, I’m always thinking of you”. I was told Lisa had been sleeping on my pillow for a couple days in a row last week so I will have to check if she seems happier since this dream.

    She seemed comforted by this anyway and my attention turned to the cat standing on our dishwasher. From the back it looked like Maggie, so I called out “Maggie!?” she turned and her face lit up, as did mine, and she was so ecstatic and meowed in the tone she used to greet us with and leaped up into my arms like she was a kitten (she was elderly when she passed) it was a huge leap with a spring in her step though physically she looked like an adult cat in her prime. I felt her weight on my arm and shoulder, perched on like she always used to (she loves sitting and clinging onto me, she sits so comfortably and will stay there whilst I move through the house doing things but in the last few days of her illness she couldn’t comfortably do this any more) but in the dream she was happily perched purring in my ear.

    I cuddled her and kissed her head frantically and said “I love you Maggie, I’ll always love you and I miss you so much” she accepted the kisses and looked with happiness in her eyes and told me “I love and miss you too” then her lips turned to human lips and she kissed me back! Then I rested my head against her head with her still in my arms and we cuddled with love flowing through us, I could feel it all around. I could feel her warmth and her health, her excitement at seeing me again and being at home, I could feel she was at peace and her happiness, she was so so happy! It was like a reunion, not a goodbye, it was like seeing an old friend again who was so loved.

    I’m not sure what happened after or how the dream ended, it was so clear when I woke up that maybe it happened just before and my alarm going off woke me up and disturbed it. I thanked her for visiting me as I kissed her picture and I cried, but it was a different cry, sadness for her not physically being with me but happiness for seeing her again. I spent all day being a bit tearful but in an elevated mood from her visit and got home and decided to look it up.

    As I write this I feel a warmth on the back of my legs, there is no heating on and if I hold my arm out the air feels cold but there remains a perfect cat size warmth in that spot and my knees slightly ache as if there was some weight. I almost feel her presence, a peaceful feeling seems thick in the air – I’m not sure what to think about this, I don’t believe in a deity or follow organised religion. Sometimes I wonder if there is more, not heaven or hell, but something to do with energy. I’ve watched a few autopsy’s and the think that astounded me was the feeling of them not being there, like a shell, I looked into their eyes and just knew it wasn’t them. I have never felt a presence from Maggie until now, even after she passed, I thought I would feel her in the room but I didn’t. Her ashes came back and I still felt nothing, which saddened me. The day we were due to spread her ashes we as a family changed our minds, we weren’t ready so we didn’t. We plan to wait until Lisa passes so that we can mix them together and use their ashes to plant a tree or a beautiful plant that can go outside in the summer (they loved that) and inside with us in the winter.

    Since the dream I have felt so much more a peace with what happened. When I sign when thinking of her, where it used to feel empty sadness, it now feels like a warm happiness. of course I would rather have her physically in my arms but it felt like she visited me and I’m so, so grateful and can’t thank her enough for the love she is still filling me with. I told her just now that she needs to visit my sister, my mum, my dad, Lisa and Tigerlily (our other feline who is 9 and healthy) to give them peace and understanding and let them see her again as they are still finding it hard, especially my younger sister.

    I didn’t realise I write this much! Sorry for that, felt like I wanted to share, I’m still elevated from the visit :)

    I’ll love you forever and always Maggie, you have awoken my soul. xxx


    • Sophie, your story moved me to tears. Maggie was so lucky to have so much love in her life. Thank you so much for sharing it with us. Warmest wishes, Sharon.



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