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On Being An Empath (part two)

May 30, 2012

Part Two – The Delights

Empathy: the state of identification of personalities in which one person feels into the other as temporarily to lose his or her own identity. It is in this profound and somewhat mysterious process of empathy that understanding, influence, and the other significant relations between persons take place.  – Rollo May

In part one of “On Being An Empath” we examined the difficulties of being an empath. In this second part, we’ll now explore how to take care of yourself once you’ve recognised you’re an empath, and the delights which being an empath can bring.

TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOURSELF

Now you’ve recognised that you’re an empath, the most important change you can make is to take care of yourself by minimising the number of negative influences in your life. As discussed in part one, as an empath you are susceptible to the detrimental effects of negative energy, whether it’s surrounding energy or your own.

This susceptibility affects your life in a number of ways. Firstly, you will be unable to tolerate an unhealthy relationship at any level. Some people are able to exist in such a relationship for many years, perhaps by operating as though it were simply a business arrangement, but as an empath you are unable to do this. Indeed, if you do attempt to follow this course of action, you will end up becoming physically, emotionally or mentally sick – I have know more than one empath who has become suicidal when stuck in a loveless marriage. I have also known other empaths who have ended up becoming completely numb – unable to cope with the negative energy, they simply cut themselves off from ALL energy and feel nothing at all. What a horrible (non) existence. Consequently, the aware empath would rather remain single than be in a negative relationship.

You will also be unable to tolerate work which is meaningless – what Barry Jaeger in Making Work Work for the Highly Sensitive Person calls ‘Drudgery’. Though many people are able to tolerate a dull job purely for the money, you are not one of them and if you make such a sacrifice, you will ultimately pay for it with your emotional, spiritual and physical health. The aware empath values their time, their well-being and meaningful work far more than they value money and consumer goods. Sadly, our society revolves around the masculine principles of economics whilst the more feminine attribute of empathy is often derided and neglected. And whoever dreamt up the work ethic certainly did not have people like us in mind – and was definitely not an empath.

The empath’s preference for meaningful work means that you will find many of us working in creative fields – the writer, the musician and the artist will often have this trait to some degree. Creativity is food for the soul for the empath and I personally find it vital to my well-being to use creativity in my work. I’ve done many jobs over the years but this is the only work I’ve truly enjoyed – even the more stressful and tedious aspects are easier to cope with when your work means something more to you than just a way of paying the bills.

As an empath, you will also benefit from periods of solitude to recuperate after any energy bombardment. In part one I discussed the difficulties for the empath of being in an urban environment. As I’ve got older (and empaths often become more sensitive to energies the older they become) I find that if I spend the day in a nearby town, I can only last a few hours before I have to get the hell out of there.

I also used to have what I call ‘brain in the jar’ moments. Before I recognised my trait, I would spend too much time amongst other people and become so overwhelmed, that it literally felt as if my head would explode. I would also find myself becoming overwhelmed by stressful situations or issues in my life. Whenever I felt like this, I would comment that I wished I could ‘take my brain out of my head and put it in a jar’, as a way of giving myself a break. At some subconscious level, obviously I knew what I needed – complete and utter sensory rest.

Fortunately I eventually recognised this need so I now make sure that I regularly recharge my own energy by spending time alone, meeting my need for time to contemplate, read, write and generally take care of myself – and my ‘brain in the jar’ moments no longer occur. I also realised that, for the same reasons, empaths need more sleep than most people. If you have commitments such as work and family, this can be easier said than done, but at least try and take half an hour to nap or lie in a dark, quiet room during the course of the day to revitalise yourself.  Some empaths are so unable to cope with energy onslaughts that they become recluses or hermits, but for most of us there is no need to go to this extreme, although time spent in retreat for a few days can be a positive thing now and again. This can be particularly useful for urban empaths, as time out in a tranquil rural environment can really give you a boost as well as indulge your passion for nature, which occurs naturally for many empaths.

Finding a pastime which absorbs you is also a good way of giving yourself a break. My personal favourite used to be jigsaws – you’ll find that  ‘geeky’ pastimes like model-making or stamp collecting are particularly good for this, as are creative pursuits such as gardening, painting, sculpting, or cookery. So long as it takes you out of your conscious mind for a while to give you time to balance your energy, any pastime you choose will do.

Basically then, the rule is to be your own best friend – take care of yourself, eat and sleep well and give yourself little treats now and again. Time spent relaxing with a good book in a local friendly coffee shop is my idea of bliss and is a really cheap and simple way to give yourself a lift and recharge your batteries. And remember to talk kindly to yourself – empaths tend to analyse everything and can end up being hypercritical of themselves. Whenever you catch yourself judging yourself harshly, ask yourself ‘Would I speak like this to my best friend? Would I tolerate my best friend saying this stuff to me?’ If not, then perhaps you need to reconsider.

Ultimately, self care is crucial. The more you nurture yourself, the more you will be open to the following benefits of being an empath.

 UNIVERSAL KNOWLEDGE – TELEPATHY, SYNCHRONICITIES AND DREAMS

Because of your high level of resonance, you will probably be tuned into the ‘universal energies’ or what Jung called the collective unconscious. This gives you a deep sense of knowing – you just ‘know’ things despite there being no rational explanation as to how you know – as well as a strong feeling of connection, which can lead to the spiritual belief that separation is an illusion and ‘we are all one’. This connection and knowing also opens us up to the ‘universal guidance’ which is contained within these energies, which is why many empaths are natural problem solvers, able to resolve any issue which they put their hearts, souls and minds into.

I mentioned in part one how my daughter and I are so close that as soon as we’re in each others energy range, I start to feel her physical symptoms. This energetic connection with others, often referred to as telepathy, is one of the fun aspects of being an empath. As well as those little tricks which many of us do such as thinking about someone just as they call you, or bumping into someone you haven’t seen in years the day after you thought about them, you may also find yourself connecting energetically with people in other less obvious ways. I find that I often tune into people I’m close to through my dreams, perhaps because my mind is more relaxed and therefore more receptive. For instance, if my daughter wakes before me in the morning and reads a book, I often have a dream which reflects the contents of that book in some way. A recent example was a dream I had about Glastonbury music festival one morning shortly before I woke. When I asked P what she had been reading, it turned out that there was a character in her book that had the nick-name ‘Glastonbury’! Even more bizarrely, I have even on occasion had the same dream as my daughter or my partner.

I also have prophetic dreams which you can read about in my blog entry The Magical World of Dreams. Empaths are often fascinated by dreams and we are natural dream analysts, due to our ability to see the deeper meaning in things and make lateral links using subtle details. This ability also works in the waking world too and helps us to interpret signs, symbols and archtypes, as well as synchronicities. Aware empaths delight in synchronicities and as our understanding of ourselves and our connection to the universe grows, we find that the universal guidance which appears in the form of synchronicities becomes ever more fluent and clear. You can read more about synchronicities in my blog entry So What Is Synchronicity?

PEOPLE AND OTHER ANIMALS

The aware empath is often described by others as ‘a beacon of light’. You will find that people are drawn to you and babies in particular will adore you – I often notice little children staring and smiling at me from their pushchairs when I’m out and about.

A similar thing can happen with animals. Empaths have a deep connection to animals and love to be around their energies. You may even find you prefer their company to that of people, as you feel animals – and their energies – are simpler and don’t have an agenda. Perhaps those ‘crazy cat ladies’ who prefer to live alone surrounded by felines are actually misunderstood empaths.

As an empath, you will also be able to resonate with the emotions of animals and unlike most people, you will view them as sentient beings who should have the same rights as humans. Because of this, many empaths become vegetarian or vegan at some point in their lives.

As far as people go, the empath makes a great friend for life, as we are loyal, warm and, humorous as well as very loving and affectionate. We are also good listeners, who are unembarrassed by strong emotion as well as being pretty much unshockable. However a healthy empath will have no tolerance for drama queens who seek attention through emotional behaviour. Though we are highly expressive about our feelings and ourselves, with the ability to share openly and honestly, we are also natural peacemakers, so prefer calm discussions to overwrought emotional spectacles or aggressive confrontations.

If you befriend an empath, then they will probably be your greatest champion. Empaths recognise your inner potential, so are able to identify your positive attributes and will remind you of your strengths when you forget you have them. (Paradoxically though, they often find it hard to take a compliment themselves.) They may also subtly alert you to any negative patterns in your life in a helpful and non-patronising way, as your empath friend has the ability to sift through all the confusing emotions you are experiencing which may be clouding the issue, to help you achieve clarity and find the root cause of your problem. And should they ever feel angry with you, you can rest assured that they will express this without attacking you personally – empaths are not judgmental and they recognise that just because a particular behaviour is bad, it does not mean that the person is bad too.

YOUR BODY SPEAKS YOUR MIND

Being an empath means you have the ability to sense the truth behind someone’s facade. You intuitively know when someone is attempting to mask a negative emotion. One theory is that when we are in the presence of an emotion we have personally experienced, we recognise it and feel it within ourselves, due to our high level of internal resonance. The empath is also able to read body language, mostly at a subconscious level – you will pick up on things like tone of voice, body movements, the words people choose when they speak, the words they avoid, the logic they use – all factors which help you to tune into others and know things about them which other people probably miss. This also makes you very difficult to lie to! Not only are you able to detect a lie, you can also tell whether the intent behind that lie is malicious and selfish, or whether it’s a white lie, told in an attempt to protect someone else.

Empaths are also highly expressive themselves. They project an incredible amount of energy releasing their emotions, with many gesticulations, and as they are so open about themselves, the empath is usually the person of whom it is said that you can ‘read them like a book’. We also delight in using our bodies in a sensual way – empaths can literally become ‘lost in music’ when they dance, their bodies becoming one with the music to create one wonderful mass of  flowing, sensual energy.

NATURAL HEALERS

As you become aware of your empathy, you will recognise more and more how sensitive this makes you to the energies around you. The fact is that as an empath, energy is literally absorbed by you far more easily than more thick-skinned folk (hence the expression) so by increasing your awareness, you will be able to be more selective about which energies you allow yourself to absorb. This also means you will be able to experience a high level of resonance with another, without being overwhelmed by a multitude of outside influences.

When you have achieved this level of balance and awareness, you will find that all your empathic qualities as discussed above – your deep inner knowing, your connection to the universal energies and so on – make you a natural healer and counsellor. Indeed, for an empath a good way of sublimating the energy we talked about in part one – which attracts the energy vampires and lame ducks – and drawing boundaries around your own propensity to give of yourself to others, is to channel it into training in a helping or healing profession.

Being counselled by an empath is an amazing and life-changing experience. After just a few hours of conversation, you will feel as if the empath knows you inside out. This is due to the afore-mentioned ability for high emotional resonance, which allows the empath to tune into your energy and emotional state, giving them an uncanny ability to pinpoint what you most need and want. They will also ask the questions others may be afraid to ask – if you’re willing to face up to some possibly uncomfortable truths about yourself and your life and recognise your negative self-destructive patterns in order to grow and be true to the real you, then working with an empath will change your life.  An empath will not shy away from talking about feelings of loss either, and will help you to gain perspective on your issue as well as heal from emotional wounds, past and present.

In addition to helping you to heal, the empath will point out strengths and abilities you perhaps never realised you had. Personal empowerment is very important to the empath so they will always respect your courage and sense of determination to survive and will trust in your ability to heal and take care of yourself. All this creates a very safe environment with a high level of trust and a strong intimacy. The relationship between an empath and their client is more than just a business transaction – an authentic and caring relationship will be formed between you as the empath helps you to be your best self and to live the truth of who that best self is.

Empaths may also find themselves being drawn to other types of healing work directly involving energy, such as Reiki. With our natural ability to tune into the universal energy, learning to channel this energy through ourselves to help others is a path which many empaths naturally gravitate towards.

I do hope this article has helped you to understand your trait a little better. If you feel that anything here resonates with you, do please leave a comment – I would love to hear from you!

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72 comments

  1. Pretty much the entirety of these two articles on empathy resonate exactly with how I feel and who I am. Thank you for helping me to understand myself 🙂


    • You’re very welcome, Gethin – thank you for your comment, it makes all the work I do worthwhile when I hear that it has helped someone. And thanks for your continued support on my FB page too 🙂

      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  2. Thankyou so much for these very informative articles. I am over 70 now, but if i could have read these when i was a teenager, my life would have been so different.
    Thanks so much,
    Pat B


    • You’re most welcome, Pat. I do understand that feeling when you recognise a truth about yourself or about life – your first reaction is elation, followed by a feeling of regret for how different life could have been had you reached this awareness sooner. However experience has taught me to let go of the regret and simply appreciate that I HAVE woken up to the truth and that from this point on, thanks to my new found awareness, my life is going to be so much more authentic, more creative and filled with a greater sense of inner peace. Not everyone wakes up enough to have that, so it’s definitely a case of better late than never 🙂

      Thank you for your kind comments, Pat, so pleased to hear the articles helped you understand yourself a little better.

      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  3. Hi Sharon,

    Glad to find your blog. I could relate to a lot of what you wrote about being an empath, especially during adolescence.

    Thank you for sharing your experiences and all of the helpful information.

    It’s wonderful to find others that have this in common. Back when I was growing up there was never any talk about any of this, which would have been extremely helpful. So, just the fact that you have this blog and write about it is life changing!

    Blessings,
    Heather


    • Thank you, Heather 🙂 I agree, there was a dearth of information about being empathic and highly sensitive when I was young, and consequently I felt confused and alienated. It’s great to be able to put this information ou there and know that’s helping people of all ages understand themselves a little better.
      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  4. Thank you so much for these two blogs! I feel like i fit in somewhere now. There is so much information out there – this is the first stuff i’ve read that i can say i completely resonate with!

    As a mental health counselor i’ve been trying to figure out how to stay in the profession with out draining out….and more recently, I’ve had a new tenant move in who is unfortunately an energy vampire…my dreams are telling me to make sure i set clear boundaries as i feel like my sacred space has been invaded. Any more info on protecting myself would be great. I wish i new someone local who could help guide me through this.


    • Hi Christa

      So glad this was helpful to you. Recognising that you need to protect yourself and set clear boundaries is a really positive step, and speaking as a fellow counsellor, it’s very important that you learn how to detach yourself from your clients as it can be extremely draining and lead to burnout. I’ve written about this in another series of blog posts, so there may be some information there which may help – part three which is about prevention and cure is here: https://empathicguidance.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/burnout-pt-3-prevention-and-cure/.

      I’m also currently putting together some more material on this topic which may help so do keep coming back 🙂

      Thank you for your comment, Christa

      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  5. Hi Sharon,

    Wow. I feel literally flooded with relief. I have tormented myself with trying to understand years of anguish and sadness. I am always compelled to care for people, total strangers, and have been flabaghast that people can turn casually away from others in pain. I have intense friendships and I love alot, but I have been terrified of the ever more pressing need to hide. I have reached the point that I can only socalise if I am drunk, otherwise I work and excersize and try not to interact with people, even though I am becoming desperately lonley. Reading your work has given me a starting point, and I feel so deeply relieved to know what the problem is.

    Thankyou.

    Ash


    • Hi Ash

      Thank you so much for your comment. It’s a wonderful feeling, isn’t it, when you finally realise why you feel and react to the world in the way you do. Recognising this is the first step towards healing ourselves and creating an authentic life.
      I think as an empath and highly sensitive person, you are wise to be selective about your friendships and the people you interact with. You may enjoy my blog post about solitude which you can find here: https://empathicguidance.wordpress.com/2009/05/25/the-greatest-gift-you-will-ever-give-yourself/ When we feel comfortable with ourselves, then being selective about our relationships and enjoying alone time becomes so much easier. Have a look back through the archives on this blog too, you may find a lot more information which will help you on your journey.
      Do please stay in touch and let me know how things are going for you 🙂

      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  6. Hi there

    I found these articles really helpful. My wife is an empath who is in her first year of understanding who and what she is. She’s always recognised that she’s different, but the absence of this knowledge has left her hurt by people, and isolated because of her differences. She started “waking up” earlier this year, and the amount of information and revelations has been overwhelming for both of us. I think we’re both coming to understand ourselves and our history because of articles like this.

    My problem is that I’ve always been quite a negative and pessimistic person (always been a problem, but now we know why), so i’m now very aware that my negative feelings can actually hurt her, so I’m desparately trying to become a more positive person and to deal with my own anxiety which hurts her as well. Sometimes i’m so concerned that my negative emotions will hurt her that i become really anxious, even panicky, which she picks up on and thinks theres a problem with us. Then I try to play it down and she knows i’m not being truthful, which then causes more problems.

    We love each other intensely and we know that we were meant to be together (we met when I was 14 and she was 17, I’m nearly 40 now), but i’m becoming increasingly aware that my mental state on any day can impact on her life.

    What can I do to make her life easier, or how can i limit the damage that i do when i’m down? We’ve got 4 kids, so it’s not always easy for either of us to take time, and most of the time we live on top of each other (obviously i don’t mean literally), being in a small house.

    I’d be grateful for any info you have on living with an empath. (i’ve read a few things intended for partners of empaths, but most of them only scratch the surface. I hate it when the world hurts her, but hate it more when i do, so I need to learn as much as she does.

    Sorry this ended up so long!!

    Warm regards

    Steve


    • Hi Steve
      Thank you for your comment and sorry it’s taken me so long to respond – I’ve been busy with other projects so haven’t visited this blog for a while.
      It’s really great that you are so supportive of your wife and her empathic sensitivity. I think an awareness that your moods can affect your wife’s wellbeing is a really positive step in the right direction, as you can take steps to modify your response to her when you’re feeling down. I would recommend that rather than bottling up your feelings, you try and be honest and open with her about them instead – repressing feelings just makes them manifest in some other way and as you’ve seen, the outcome is never good. By voicing your feelings of anxiety to your wife in a calm way, then instead of these feelings damaging you both, you’re putting them out there as a separate entity which you can then both deal with together which will hopefully bring you even closer. The next time you feel those feelings creeping up on you, sit down with your wife as soon as you can and tell her what you’re feeling and that you’re concerned about how they may affect her. This not only gives her the opportunity to help you to deal with your anxieties (which as a loving partner she will no doubt want to do), but also gives her the chance to protect and nurture herself accordingly. In right relationship, it’s important for both parties to take responsibility for themselves. So while it’s vital that you are aware of your impact on others and take steps to minimise the negative effect this may have, it’s equally important for your wife to recognise that she is more sensitive than others and take steps to look after herselfand set up appropriate boundaries accordingly.

      I can recommend a couple of good books which may help:

      Dancers Between Realms by Elizabeth Fitzhugh touches on relationships and offers advice on self protection. http://www.amazon.co.uk/Dancers-Between-Realms-Empath-Energy-Empathy/dp/0944370012/ref=tmm_pap_title_0

      The Highly Sensitive Person in Love by Elaine Aron will also help you to understand each other more http://www.amazon.co.uk/Highly-Sensitive-Person-Love-Understanding/dp/0767903366/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1349637873&sr=8-2

      I’d also recommend checking out all Amazon’s books on the Highly Sensitive Person as there may be other titles which will help your wife to handle her trait in a positive way.

      Hope this helps, Steve.

      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  7. Reading this post was like reading another person who is inside my brain. I’ve known for about a year and a half now that I’m an empath and have instances of frustration when I forget or wonder why I feel so badly. I do feel blessed and cursed at times. But am receiving messages every day about how to live life in a fruitful positive way. This includes wanting to change my current profession to one where I know I can help people to a greater degree. I have become trained in Reiki 2 and love energy healing as well, and am currently investigating Pranic healing. One of the biggest obstacles in my life thus far has been the lack of a long term meaningful romantic relationship, and now I know why! I I’m not alone! The tools to starting and maintaining a healthy relationship esp for Empaths are mine now! Yay! I know that a loving secure relationship is not far behind and I don’t feel odd for wanting and needing alone time. 🙂
    Thank you! thank you! Thank you!!!!

    -Maia


    • Thank YOU for such a lovely comment, Maia 🙂 It took me a long time before I found someone I felt was really worthy of spending my life with too, but I can assure you it was definitely worth the wait! The plus side of biding your time is that, unlike the many people who rush into a relationship in an attempt to ‘complete’ themselves, you will have time to work on your personal and spiritual development and be ‘complete’ within yourself. Which means you’ll eventually be in a relationship because you want to be, not because you need to be 🙂

      Warmest wishes,
      Sharon


  8. What you said is very true from beginning to end. My question is if an empath is having trouble with everyone else’s emotional baggage what can she do not to become numb to all emotion completely. I don’t realize it happening until I can’t sort it out and overwhelmed beyond it all. If there is any tips it is appreciated . Thanks 🙂


    • Hi Angela
      Sadly there is no quick fix to this issue. I spent years on my spiritual and personal growth, getting to know myself inside and out, so that I could distinguish more easily between my feelings and those belonging to others. At times – particularly when things are stressful or I’m a bit run down – it’s still tricky to distinguish between them. I would also recommend continuing with your spiritual and personal development (check my blog posts for more ideas on this) to strengthen your core self, as this will give you the wherewithal to cope with energetic bombardments from external sources.
      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  9. Hi Sharon, I’m so glad you responded to my comment on Part One today (and dont’ worry I hadn’t noticed) as it spurred me onto find part two, which somehow I had missed. It makes so much sense. Thank you. 🙂


    • Thanks for the kind comment, Cate – I’m really pleased that part two resonated with you as well. Thanks for dropping by again, I’m posting another entry soon so hope to see you here in the near future 🙂 Warmest wishes, Sharon


  10. sorry, to write again, everything I thought about before I read this part two is in here too… Thank you again!!! As a musician I (of course) study music, cause it would be better for a career, but you are so right about thejobs and people, I just can’t stand the university. I get sick when I am there too long. Thank you again!! Very very very much, it also explains a lot of my other skills!!!!


  11. I just recently learnt I am an empath.. Everything you wrote is exactly who I am and it helped me understand so much of my life I have always been confused about. I am also just understanding what it means to be introverted. I feel there is equally positive and negative to having both traits at the same time. But nevertheless, I feel just being open to learning about and understanding both traits will help to utilize them in a healthy way and not be overcome by the need to escape their downfalls. I have always struggled with feeling out of place within my peers which lead me to drink to become this person I am not. For the past 2 years I have been very happy and aware of needing alone time to recharge and do so every day. Thankfully, I live alone but have a cat and a dog 🙂
    Thank you for your blog I feel more empowered to be me! 🙂


    • Thank you for your kind comment, so pleased that you feel empowered by it – it’s good to know I’m doing my job right! 🙂 Warmest wishes, Sharon


  12. Thank you for this article. I resonate highly and now I am hungry to learn more about me. I love people and I have found that I have to balance my time and energies as to not become overwhelmed.
    -Namaste-


  13. This closely describes me and my life!! I’m just starting to realize all of this about myself. Thank you SO much for your story and this wonderful information!! Much love and light ❤


    • Thank you, Laura, so pleased it’s been helpful to you! Warmest wishes, Sharon 🙂


  14. Thank you so much for article. I’m left a little speechless because I feel as though you have spelt out everything I’ve been experiencing … It feels so good to finally have some clarity into the emotional roller coaster of day-to-life. Knowing I wasn’t alone literally brought tears to my eyes, so thank you again.

    PS. You are a beautiful writer! You definitely have an ability to translate emotion into words 🙂


    • Hi Jessica – Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I’m so pleased that this article has helped you feel connected and given you some clarity – it makes such a difference to us as empaths to know that there are others out there who understand what we’re going through, especially as we’re often so isolated in our early years.

      Thank you also for that lovely compliment – as I’m on the brink of embarking on a large writing project (and feeling nervous about it), it couldn’t have come at a better time for me so thank you for the much needed boost 🙂

      With warmest wishes
      Sharon


  15. Thank you, thank you, thank you. From the depth of a constantly burning heart. Thank you


    • You are very welcome – and if you’d like to know more about the vegan lifestyle, do let me know. I can tell you that as an empath, it’s the best thing I ever did 🙂
      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


  16. You mentioned at the end of the article that you’d love to hear from people who resonate with this topic. I completely resonated with it, especially part 1 on being an empath.

    What is perhaps most odd about me, is that I was an empath and now I’m not. I have in fact (in this life) experienced being both exceedingly sensitive and …rather thick skinned! So I can give pros and cons to both of these states.

    Your high school experience mirrored mine and it was an ‘awful’ stage of my life.

    My type of empathy was the type who is completely swamped with the ’emotions of other people’, I would absorb them like a sponge, go away with their problems. I was the shy, loner type who couldn’t bear to ‘say the wrong thing’ to anybody because if they got offended – I would take the brunt of their negative feelings. Naturally not wanting to harm others (because it would lead back to me) made me an easy target for bullying. Everyone’s emotions were so overwhelming to me, that I repressed them and caused bad energy blockages which damaged my thyroid – causing me to be in a permanent state of anxiety! This made everything worse. I then sank into a depression, which lifted as I went into more favorable situations.

    I often became the person ‘people vented’ at, and would chat to them as some type of councilor listening to their problems. I would be able to feel peoples emotions 100% of the strength that they were experiencing them, even when speaking on phone or online (online chat). This freaked out the more thick skinned people who felt I had some kind of ability (which felt much, much more like a curse to me). I felt like I was a rag doll- being pushed and pulled around by the stronger emotions and energies of other people – never able to be myself or hold my ground. This created a scene where I was alone (as to avoid the pain or ugly emotions of others – which were almost everywhere), but also feeling lonely (longing for ‘good company’), but being too shy to do much about it all.

    Eventually, after a number of healings I sorted out this thyroid trouble, and someone ‘fixed up’ part of my aura – she told me my aura was too open (on several levels), it was too open to people around me and also the outer part of the aura was too open (by this point I was getting very clear spirit-sensing abilities, along with telepathy from various disembodied folks, not to mention possessions and other creepy stuff).

    So she closed these parts of my aura up, after that, I was doing a lot of work to increase my life force strength – which made me …well, less and less affected by other peoples emotions – until I was barely able to feel anything from anyone (unless it was Really intense!). I’m this way right now, so I’ve been told by some people even though I am helpful and try to do the right thing – I can be thick skinned in Some Situations. This is from building up the chi, kundalini activation and Reiki.

    The pros to being an ’empath’, (what I call having an open energy field which merges with surrounding people) is that you have a high awareness of what’s ‘really’ going on around you – what everyone is really thinking (I never understood why people lied to me and thought they could get away with it – it always made me feel uncomfortable – now I know that they weren’t empath’s themselves so how could they know?).

    You feel an intense ‘connection’ and inner-knowing about everyone, even people you first meet. So this helps you immediately pick out anyone who is a danger to you (someone who has dark intent or blocked emotional problems which would drain you).

    It’s also nice to chat to people online and immediately feel ‘close’ to them, as if they were sat next to you.

    The downside to being an empath is that life is incredibly intense, an endless swarm of intense emotions fly all over the place in social settings or crowds – quickly leading you to feel suffocated and ‘where’s the exit!?’. It also can make people shy because they are afraid of the intense negative emotions others radiate out, so they end up not saying much at all so as not to offend anyone (not that this will stop some people picking on you, bummer – how can you win?).

    Being an empath really makes you aware of just how awful the world is (in the sense of how deep everyone’s suffering is, how Dark the world is, you can’t – as someone once did – convince an empath that the world is all love and roses – you’re forced to witness all the darkness which leaks out of people and it certainly isn’t pretty!).

    The good side to being thick skinned is that you don’t have to deal with ‘other peoples rubbish’, it’s like being in a protective bubble. It’s a lot more peaceful because I’ve only had to transmute my Own problems (instead of my own + everyone’s who I am around).

    The downside is that I’ve lost interest and awareness of what’s going on outside of me. It’s not that I don’t care about people, but it’s difficult to feel connected when you are barely aware of their presence (certain emotions are still easy to pick up, such as anger, depression or awkwardness – I have felt ‘sparks of energy’ fly out of those who are angry, as well as dark clouds of grey and black from the depressed. Awkwardness is felt as a ‘tension’ or ‘blocked’ flow of energy).

    So I’m currently in my own bubble – fixing myself up!

    While being an empath I had found it rather difficult to form romantic relationships, upon trying to do so I found the energy connection between me and another got ‘too strong’, either they would start to leech out my energy, until I barely had any left, or I would start to drain their energy! (I sensed this happening through an astral tube which connected the people involved, yes, energy can be leeched over a distance if both people submit). This led to horrible results, leading me to completely rule out the concept of being close to someone!

    I later found out that when my aura got strong and ‘thick skinned’, I didn’t really feel much of anything for anyone (I couldn’t detect their aura), they felt like ghosts, so relationships felt bland and boring – so I still don’t bother much with this, what an odd situation? Of course I do enjoy talking to people about shared topics of interest, so some friendships form now and again.

    To top this all off, since I have kundalini flowing into my brain,I’ve read about the later stages of this – there is a stage where the boundaries all open at once! So it’s possible (and likely) that in future – once again – my boundaries will fully open and I’ll be an empath again. The guy who I know has done this not only felt everyone’s emotions, but he picked up some of their thoughts and he felt their physical symptoms in his own body! So that’s how energy healing can work, you merge with the ill persons aura, send your own energy to fix it up and then clear your own aura of the problems. A bit risky since it is effectively letting in all manner of problems into your own auric field.

    I have experienced this ‘physical transfer of pain/blockages’ while trying out an energy healing before my aura was closed up, I felt intense heat in the places within my own body that the other person had trouble with. Some other incidents occurred where people would stand close to me (bus stops, queues) and literally start sucking up my energy, it would be pulled out of my chest in cloudy puffs and absorbed into them, perhaps I’ve got all this to go through again in future.

    So what do you think of all this? What a ride I’ve been through and will probably be going through in future!

    Hope you are doing well and I will be checking some of your other blog posts 🙂

    Jamie


    • Hi Jamie
      Wow! Thank you so much for your comment, it’s really interesting reading your experiences of being an empath.
      I can relate to you ‘switching off’ your empathic abilities – it DOES get overwhelming being empathic, particularly when we’re younger and less aware what’s going on for us. I’m not sure we ever stop being empaths though – I think it’s more a case of us protecting ourselves to a greater or lesser extent. I can remember when I was in my early twenties becoming aware that I no longer seemed to have feelings – things which would have previously made me cry, for example, simply had no impact on me. With hindsight i can see that i had become so overwhelmed – and probably emotionally burnt out – by my life experiences so far that I completely shut down and refused to let anything or anyone in at all.
      I’ve since learned how to regulate how much I let the world impact me and consequently have finally been able to settle in a long-term relationship (took me till the age of forty though!). I’m now able to work from home too which means I can regulate how much I interact with the world and I’m also very selective about the friendships I form and who I actually let into my world on a regular basis.
      As I’ve become older, I’ve become more aware of the injustices and cruelties in the world which is, as you say, very painful to deal with so again, I have to regulate how much I focus on these – but I also find that being active in doing what I can to make a difference in the world (ie focusing my attentions outward rather than inward, and being proactive rather than being reactive) really helps to diminish the impact that these painful events have on me.
      I also do energy healing and can feel heat from others which enables me to pinpoint areas where there is an issue, but it tends to stay in my hands – I find that doing protective exercises before and after really helps to control the impact of these sessions.
      I think overall that I am willing to take the downsides of being an empath as I really love the upsides! The key is to find a way of coping with it which ‘dampens down’ the impact being empathic has on you personally, which is why I wrote this article as I wanted to help people feel comfortable with who they are rather than having to deny an important part of themselves due to it being simply too painful to deal with.
      Hopefully this article will help you to do the same – there’s a lot of other helpful information out there too which can help, it’s probably worth checking out the vast amount of info online about being highly sensitive as there is quite an overlap between the two traits.
      Thank you again for that wonderful and in-depth comment – I’d love to hear more about how you progress in handling your empathic abilities so do keep me posted.
      Warmest wishes, Sharon


  17. Thank you for generously sharing with me a way in which to label-articulate-summarize-and-package my set of related traits <3, Jessica …. Via the MBTI, I was initially analyzed initially as an "ISTJ," and thereafer have evolved into an "ISFJ" with professional career-counseling clinical analysis, … but the Meyers-Briggs was only as far as I had progressed with regard to self-insight …. You have not only led me to new-and-deeper self-insight (intra-personally), but you have also guided me with regard to how I should creatively-and-ethically handle myself for self-protection (inter-personally) …. Thank you for caring, and thank you for your care, Jessica ❤

    Genuinely, Mark


    • Hi Mark
      Thanks for your comment – Jessica sounds like a wonderful caring friend, I’m wondering if it’s the same Jessica who commented on here earlier 🙂 It’s great also to hear that the article has helped you with your personal growth and self-awareness. There are lots of other similar posts in this blog so do have a look around, as there may be more words which resonate with you and help you on your journey.
      Warmest wishes, Sharon 🙂


  18. Hi Sharon,

    Thank you so much for writing these wonderful articles on being an empath. I discovered I was one last year and suddenly lots of things made sense!

    I’m just wondering if you could advise me in the area of work please. After college, I worked for two years as an assistant to children with autism but then left as it got too much for me. I took almost a year off (I have great parents!) before returning to college again. I then got a job as a primary school teacher but after five months I got sick (multiple physical symptoms but the doctor didn’t know what was wrong with me!) and after three months of rest, Reiki and EFT made it back to work. I haven’t worked fulltime since the end of that school year last June. I work as a casual relief teacher now but still find that a day’s work completely drains me no matter how many energy techniques I do during the day or shields of light I put around myself. I’ve also trained as an energy therapy practitioner but that drains me aswell. I’ve also taken on the physical symptoms of clients which wasn’t a nice experience.

    I love teaching and energy healing but can’t seem to get my body to be able for them. Is there anything you would suggest? I’m lucky at the moment in that I’ve got savings and still live at home but I’ll need to support myself in the future.

    Thank you so much Sharon,

    Michelle 🙂 xx


    • Hi Michelle, thanks for your comment. So far as work goes, I’m still wrestling with that one myself! I’ve had to step away from my guidance work for the time being as it became too draining for me, particularly as my family need my emotional support at the moment. There simply wasn’t enough energy in me to go around everyone. As well as my online business, I’ve had to stop my school guidance work too, as the energy within the school was just too much for me to handle right now. I know that the only work I can really do is something on my own terms, which means self-employment of some type, so I’m now working on a book and hoping to develop a career as a writer, maybe continuing my guidance work in the form of workshops in the future when some of the pressure in my personal life has abated. I’m lucky that I have a husband who is willing to support me whilst I pursue different career options. I’m not sure how helpful this is to you, but perhaps some of my own experience will give you some ideas. All I can suggest otherwise is that you google ‘finding your life purpose’ and do some of the exercises these articles suggest (I think Steve Pavlina has a good one) as this may help you to find the right direction for you.
      Warmest wishes
      Sharon


      • Thank you so much for your reply. Yes, I too think I need to work on my own terms, either that or short term employment where I have the chance to recharge the batteries when it’s over. Teaching and healing both drain me so I’m really hoping I either get better at managing my energy and I can handle them or I find a wonderful job/career that boosts my energy instead of the other way around! Thank you for your reply and I will check those articles out 🙂 xx


      • You’re very welcome, Michelle – glad to help 🙂 x


  19. Thank you x 1000,000,000.

    This resonated for me at every level. You may have helped save a relationship in addition to reminding me that it’s OK to take care of me! I cannot recommend this article (parts 1 & 2) highly enough.


    • Hi Nina, that is wonderful news, so great to hear that these articles have made such a profound difference to your life. Thank you for your kind comment – warmest wishes, Sharon 🙂


  20. I absolutely loved your article. I am recently realizing that I am and always have been an Empath. It is amazing and uncanny how accurate this depiction is within my own life. I have been through some crazy things, and now I realize that it was all due to the fact that I had this ability that I didn’t know I had. I always wondered why I would feel absolutely drained after going to the mall, or why at times I would just need to get away from people or I felt like my head would explode. I absolutely cannot watch gory movies or anything having to do with war because my heart just hurts too much. I have always been someone who people just open up to and I have never really known why. I have also been on the other, negative side, and it was absolutely horrible. I am finally realizing these things and it is an epiphany within my soul and I will figure out how to use this ability to help others. I first need to learn how to control it, and your articles are a great first step in helping me towards my journey of being a grounded empath. Thank you so much!


    • Thank you, Blair, and I’m so delighted to hear that the articles are helping you to achieve greater self-awareness – that’s the first step towards a much brighter future for you and for those around you 🙂 Warmest wishes, Sharon


  21. After reading the both parts, i have got to knw myself in a much better way. Now everythng that has happening to me makes proper sense. Now i believe wil b able to manage my life in a better way… I beilieve this is exactly what i required to know at this point of my life.
    Thank u…


    • Thank you Nikki – hearing that the articles I write have made a difference to someone makes it all worthwhile. After all, that’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? 🙂 So glad to have been able to help. Warmest wishes, Sharon


  22. Your words reflect my life experience. I am seeking balance within and trying to learn how to be. I have withdrawn and seek the wisdom to be a part of life without being lost. Thank you so much for posting. What is the address of your facebook page please?


    • Thanks Deanne 🙂 At the moment, my facebook page is ‘resting’ but I have some exciting future plans which I will be sharing here very soon.


  23. I am nearly 50 years old. I reckon you have a clue how my life has been. My Childhood was terrible and it literally took me years to function on any real level. I still have problems but not nearly as bad. Something finally just gave only this year. All I seem to do is cry now lol I was abused when I was young I guess maybe someone here might understand what that has done to me. I took on a lot of the traits of my abuser too and somehow I just knew it was wrong and I really am a good hearted individual although I probably am capable of some things most could not bring themselves to do. It created these tremendous conflicts inside me too. On a level I do not think anyone except someone like I am could begin to grasp. I hated myself literally for so long lol people thought I was crazy too because although I have never had a death wish I just did not care what happened to me. Ha ha but I have always in very good physical shape grew up in upstate newyork in the mountains 40 years ago I think thats the only reason I survived to be honest. The level of terror I lived in every day for 17 years was insane. And there was hostility every where I went. As I have been reading I realized I have developed some of the skills I should have every word I read rang true I can see lol I just know why each of them are important sheesh I even knew instantly why I had this and not that. I have been avoiding people like the plague for a long time but this last year the most. Inside I feel better than I ever have save for about 4 years when my son was first born but to most people I would look a mess I am prone to burst into tears and then laugh hysterically at the same time. I think to be honest its because it has only been this last year I didn’t have to focus every ounce of energy I had to keep myself in check I think I deliberately no I know i deliberately twisted all of those negative energies around into something that resembled a clock spring wound as tight as it could go. And It got to where I didn’t know when it would unwind or why I started out terrified of the world and everyone I came into contact with and ended up terrified of myself. It took me 18 years to straighten out what I did to myself as a child. I think I am just suffering what I locked away lol I could not believe the numbers I saw I think in 50 years I have maybe met two people like me. They did not like or dislike me I think they felt sorry for me because they could tell I was messed up. I suppose whom ever reads this can feel what I felt through these words my ” batteries” are running down again. I asked to join that group because I am so tired of being alone with this. At least I finally found the tools I need. I fixed me and I have been wondering which is worse lol i am so very grateful to have arrived here tonight. I do not think there has even been a handful of times iny life I have been this relieved. Thank you so much for caring enough to leave a sign for me to find I almost just almost feel like an idiot for never thinking to look for you. I am going to go thank the person who led me here accident tho it was play my one game for a very short time and sleep. I hope maybe tomorrow someone will be around to maybe chat with but strangely I feel much better if it is me great if it is you thank you for the peace i needed it.


    • Thank you for sharing your story with us, Ernie. Warmest wishes to you – Sharon


  24. I am 38 years old and just finding out now I am an empath. Your description of your school years described mine to a T and I am so extremely thankful I came across your article. I learned the hard way not everyone felt the same depth as I did but never understood why. I struggled and hurt and the agonizing pain inside caused by others became unbearable so often. Dreams and feelings and flashes of pure understanding in someone else’s brain knowing them or not. I attempted suicide, I have been taking anti depressants for years now and now that I have kids I just try to hold on. The fact that I now know why I am so different and I am not alone is like an epiphany to me. Thank you so much. I now can research and learn how to protect myself in ways that will actually work. Thank you thank you thank you! Did I mention thank you!


    • You are very welcome, I’m so glad that this has helped you towards healing and understanding who you are a little more. Warmest wishes to you – Sharon.


  25. Hi, I’m glad I came across your page since I have been having difficulties dealing with others’ negative feelings since I was little. Although I still don’t know how to set others’ emotions from affecting mine. I don’t know if I’m an empath or just have overly sensitive imagination, but whenever I hear horrible or tragic stories I seem to pick up the very deep emotions and can’t keep it away from myself ( I even get headaches and shortness of breath). I stopped watching tv couple years ago, but I hear horrible stories once in a while and feel like as if I went through all that. And I can still feel that gloomy feeling that i got from the real life stories that I heard when I was little as if it was my experience. Is there any way I can protect myself from this or even completely forget this? I will be glad to hear your opinion. Thank you


  26. In youth our experience blends
    Our minds are fresh
    Free to pretend
    No restraints or guided bounds
    Curious with all we found
    Knowledge grows as years move on
    Memories based on sight and sound
    Comprehension formulates
    Tightens a noose to create
    Simulations of right and wrong
    Do not start yet we won’t wait long
    Impatient yet predictable
    The brains a jar others fill
    Laws enforced terms dictate
    Where an when seasons and dates
    Why all these rules?
    Who drew these cards?
    Born into ease raised into hard
    Joy of life before we knew
    Just what is meant bills are due
    Fuck it all you can have it back
    Evolution went off track
    Telling all we feel just fine
    More mediocre than sublime

    Now we work most of the time
    Exhausted and over tired
    Push on through until we retire
    Or our shelf life becomes expired
    From the start until the end
    Were keeping track making amends
    Controlling all not letting go
    Our eyes they dart to and fro
    Become confused then get enraged
    Over little things someone did change
    Take it on ourselves to do it all
    Intelligence begins to fall
    Signs emerge when weight does drop
    “It is just a job you need to stop”
    Communicate from us to them
    With words they do not comprehend
    This was my mark you have destroyed
    Accomplishment it brings forth joy?
    Its never done there’s always more
    Creation (cognitveslipage, spatial perception) cannot be a port
    Interpretations do multi-task
    Even when they do not ask
    Expansions through complete redesigns
    Connecting subtle integrated lines
    Fault or flaw can not tolerate
    Start over again they all can wait
    Do not need suggestions from feeble minds
    World war re-defined
    Free will of expression veiled world behind………..?
    Pupils dusted, buskers shine
    ……………………………………………………………

    I couldnt believe they re ‘right’
    thats how I knew
    ‘I’,.. felt,
    I lost so much of what was meant to be
    .my mind
    robbed {marginalized
    out of who’s idendity,
    now. . . .
    . . . drip. . .

    ———————————————————————-

    they have not once felt anything for me
    only towards, and the like
    “But we said… . . ………….”
    AND FELT NOTHING.
    Chromosones are not shiny objects
    Penny for my thoughts
    With inflation and tax a direct debit payment plan needed
    In an inescapable world of daytime soap operas
    Contagiously infecting minds with unnecessary drama
    One show after another cause an affect of atrophy
    Decaying sense of self into primal regression of ape
    Not ironic on television there also called episodes
    Reversing evolution depleting the neo cortex
    Chromosones are not shiny objects
    Diagnosis degenerate remote control handling catatonia syndrome
    Look how far we have come, technological yes, advancement?
    Abbreviational conversationalists laugh out loud
    But no one reads in the information age
    Freedom of information act for illiterates
    Now at itunes in downloadable MP3 format
    Portfolio investment in adult diaper an XXXL baby bib stocks to rise
    Anything more than basic motor functions make you a liability
    Lawyer, do not leave home without one
    Another incompetence not your responsibilities by law
    Spoon feeding injustice into society failed career criminals
    Rights for parasites an offering by a nation on life support
    Employable and tax paying not symptoms of sickness only terminal
    Thank you for visiting western civilisation hope you enjoyed your stay
    ………………………………

    bearings…..
    … please…..
    …..bit stormy,
    im afraid


    • I hear that


    • Thank you for leaving such an incredible comment, Tim, and sharing this with us. Being an empath can be really hard in this consumerist society and it is frustrating that it’s being made increasingly difficult to opt out.


  27. Fantastically well written. Thank you so much Sharon. I have just discovered recently that I am one. Can you imagine being in my late 30’s how much of a clean up job I’ve had to do. I am really going to see this as the start of my life. I’ve got rid of the takers and coming to terms with my upbringing and abuses from others from teen to adult. I am just starting to learn about boundary keeping! Having a term empath helps me consolidate what I’m dealign with and helps retrieve more info on this quality. All the best to you.


    • Thank you for your comment, Amy – it’s great to hear that the article has helped you to help yourself. It’s knowing that this work is making a difference to people like you which makes it all worthwhile 🙂 Warmest wishes to you, Sharon


  28. Wow! Everything I’ve been reading about empaths these past few days sure explains a lot. I just thought I was a nut case.

    Turns out there have been ALOT of synchronicities pointing to a particular man in my life in need of some serious help. Ironically, because of this man (I’m currently bed-ridden due to an accident involving him), I stumbled across this whole empath thing while surfing the net.
    Guess I better listen to the universe and go help him.

    Cheers…Karen


    • You’re welcome, Karen – glad to have been of some help to you too.


  29. Thank you so much for writing this because it makes me feel so much better to know why I’ve always felt different from others. Empathy is a term I just recently discovered and it’s overwhelming, and comforting, that I see myself so accurately in these traits.


    • You’re welcome, Melody, so glad the article resonated with you. Warmest wishes, Sharon


  30. Hi Sharon,
    I’m a 14 year old girl, who just recently found out about my empath abilities. I have to say, what you wrote about your time in highschool, I could totally relate! I almost burst into tears.
    In my old school, I bonded with people a lot but everytime they ditched me for another friend I became a loner.
    My self esteem took blow after blow and I became an introverted bookworm. I really felt like I was in another world reading, I even used to feel jealous of book characters- how did they manage to snag such trustworthy friends?
    I always dreamed of meeting that one best friend who you go thru childhood with and tell all your secrets- so far no luck.

    Right now, I’ve moved homes and countries and i’m going through a drastic change in my life. That topped off with puberty AND empath sensitivity?
    Welcome to hell. In my new school, I have’nt made any close friends because whenever I do, I become crazy about them.
    I like become desperate and become very nice. I get too clingy and then, they abandon me.
    I don’t want that to happen in my new school so I’m keeping a friendly distance. What do you suggest I do?
    Seriously, in my whole life, I have never felt I related to a person like so much. Thank you so much for putting things into perspective for me, really, I mean it.
    I wish I could stop this contant pain in my heart and throat. The ache and grief in my heart- please, make it go away…
    If you have any advice for an inexperienced newbie like me, do tell.
    How do I stop being an energy sponge? I feel so insecure…

    Best Wishes,
    Jameela


    • Hi Jameela – I was very touched by your comment and it resonated with me very deeply. I can remember wishing to meet that one perfect best friend too and becoming crazy about people, only to drive them away through my eagerness to please. And I remember wanting to be the characters I read about in books too.
      I think you’re doing the right thing keeping a friendly distance – this will give you time to get used to your surroundings and suss out the energies (and the auras of others ie who is a healthy connection and who is less so), and will allow others to approach you instead, when they are ready. I have done this myself as a newcomer to groups in my adult life and consequently ended up being one of the most popular people in the group!
      If you feel yourself becoming too emotionally attached or overwhelmed, take time out and allow your feelings to subside (they always do eventually) before acting – when we’re very sensitive and act on emotional impulse, this can create all kinds of issues, as you have seen, as our rationality is compromised by our feelings.
      I can also tell you that life does get easier as you get older and are able to adapt your lifestyle to suit you. I now only spend time with people who are healthy for me to be with and work from home so that I only have to interact with others when I choose.
      It is hard being a teenager in school, surrounded by all the emotions thrown up by puberty – the advice I gave to my daughter who is also very sensitive and struggled with school at first was to not worry about people liking her, but to be respected by being assertive and not allowing others to walk all over her or belittle her (one of my posts on this blog is about assertiveness). This seemed to work for her and she also learned that just having one good friend was also counterproductive whilst at school – becoming too dependant on another equally emotionally battered teen is not very healthy, and she found the best solution was to have a small group of friends rather than just one person. Being friends with boys is something which helped both of us too as boys are a little less emotive than girls at this age – and play less mind games – and can therefore be easier to be with.
      I hope this helps a little, Jameela, and I wish you well at your new school.
      Warmest wishes, Sharon


  31. Hi Sharon,

    Both part one and two are absolutely spot on! I’m 22 and I’m so glad I have read your posts. For a few months now I have wondering why I have been attracting ‘social vampires’ into my life, not understanding why and how to go about meeting less exhausting people. And after coming across your posts’, I have been given an understanding and assurance to almost every social interaction I’ve had.

    Thank you for an insightful and accurate account. I know that this will give me the awareness and balance to discover more beneficial social interactions, and this has also given me some reassurance and courage to try to help get my mother out of a depression.

    I look forward to reading more posts 🙂

    Best wishes Chris


    • Thanks Chris! So great to hear that these posts have helped you. Warmest wishes to you and your mother – Sharon


  32. I’m just now learning that I am an empath. It has explained so much and filled in so many blanks that I’ve had. I always thought something was wrong with me. Do you have any advice on how to deal with negative people that you can’t avoid? Also are there any books that you recommend on the subject? I want to get more of an understanding on what being an empath means.


  33. Sharon,
    Thank you so much for taking the time to write these blogs.
    I have devoured dozens and dozens of articles on empaths this past weekend and I suddenly have the overwhelming desire to post a comment and at least thank one of you for taking the time to help me learn and grow.
    Unfortunately I am not an empath, I am quite the opposite. Not narcissistic or unfeeling. Simply unable to allow others to affect my mood or energies. I am however married to an empath. For 12 years I have been married to the most amazing women and I am ashamed to admit that even though she told me on many occasions that she was an empath, I confused the term empath with a “highly empathetic person”. As a behavioral scientist I ignorantly assumed I understood her and she needed to learn how to be less emotional and stop carrying other people’s burdens. I selfishly ignored and neglected her inner core being. I honestly believed she was happy and content because she appeared happy and content. She appeared happy and content because I was happy and content.

    Unfortunately it required her leaving me for me to finally be bothered to Google the word empath. And my mind is blown while my soul is shredded. I am so grateful for people like you who take the time to share your understanding so that others may learn. While I sincerely hope that my new found knowledge and path of learning will someday grant me the privilege of her heart and trust again. I am thankful that she finally had the courage and strength to see what she needed to do to protect herself and her gift.

    As a behavioral scientist I have always been extremely analytical and curious about behavior and personalities and the ultimate question of “why do people do what people do”. Until this event my education and knowledge had always been completely clinical and institution based. Because of people like you, I feel like Michelangelo who suddenly discovered the other half of his palette of colors, or Mozart who suddenly found the wind section in his Orchestra.

    Thank you again


  34. Hello,Sharon.

    Quite recently I was sitting with this laptop as i am now on my bed feeling very low and despondent.Desperately in need of guidance ,spiritually ,emotionally .i typed in the Google search something to the effect of “Soul killing career,spiritual guidance”
    I have since then found your words telling me exactly what I am and why I find it totally unbearable to work in such a negative environment as I did .
    I was working at a Popular German motor franchise as a Senior motor vehicle technician.
    I could not bring myself to get up to go to work anymore for i was drained of trying to change the tyrannical Management and how they were constantly abusing their staff,breaking them down emotionally and psychologically.
    I’ve always taken naps all my life during lunch times ,school breaks etc.
    I am working on my self destructive side ,and have now realized that i always try to find ways to sidestep negative or tense situations.Because of your help and love that u share I know now that i am an Empath and just about all but 2 characteristics of being an Indigo adult ,very susceptible to negative energy and people with that energy .I’ve always been very intuitive and seem to strike common plain with people from all walks of life but in the same sense I struggle to understand why people communicate in confusing manners ,maybe because of their own awkwardness or fears .i always say exactly what i feel and see constructively and without judgement and disrespect.I feel as if i have only woken up at the age of forty !
    I’ve always been drawn to the eastern arts,Martial arts and especially to the spiritual side ,meditation ,chi,collective consciousness-these things has always felt natural and right to me.
    Saying the following ,pleas understand it’s only what Ive experienced and felt myself and in no way am i against any form of religion . I could never be comfortable in any church,singing praise or understanding scriptures ??
    I’ve resigned from my place of employment and ended my work there of seven years and altogether 14 years in the motor trade,I have no other work lined up ,yet feeling excited about what lies ahead,even though i don’t know what it is yet ?I’ve lost ll interest in the motor trade as such.I’ve gone from a left brain dominant person to a right brain dominant person ?? I’ve all of a sudden developed this creative boom,there’s so many questions (emotionally) if that makes sense ,as if I have this burning sensation,under my rib cage ,yurning for guidance to purpose and enlightenment.I don’t know who to go to I have always felt that seeing a clairvoyant to seek guidance was a risk ,fearing they might derail a true path ?My friend has been friends with a lady since schooldays who is clairvoyant,and has always asked me to see this clairvoyant,but i was to scared.She later convinced me to take my pullover I wore under my overall and place it in a bag to have the clairvoyant read it.
    Doing so,the lady said she could not see my face which was unusual for her not to.She then asked I must go see her ,for I have a gift….that was more than 9 years ago….Could you give me your opinion ?
    I want to be who the world needs me to be,
    Please excuse any bad writing,eEglish is not my home language.

    Thank you for being for us
    Arno Swanepoel


  35. Hi I came upon this article . I recently became aware I am an empath … before my awakening i went from living alone to being in a loving relationship and owning four dogs two fish and many house plants . After all of these changes I kept asking how and why so many changes occured so quickly . Reading this article really put everything into perspective . I Remember as a child I loved being surrounded by animals but I was afraid to interact with people on my own accord , almost like if I did I was setting myself up to be dissapointed because a lot of the time I felt used . I was one of 15 children and the middle child who was a bit anti social at times, that said … I was kind of the odd duck. I feel relieved knowing that everything up until today was leading to my awareness of my gift . Now that I know I look forward to helping & healing people ♡:)


  36. Thank you for this awesome article! As a newly realized empath (as of last year), I was helped greatly. I recently decided I will leave my career in banking and pursue a career in writing. It’s been scary and I have the same worries you mentioned when you were changing careers. But this has litterally calmed my troubled heart, (for today at least). Thank you again!


  37. Thank you for this awesome article! As a newly realized empath (as of last year), I was helped greatly. I recently decided I will leave my career in banking and pursue a career in writing. It’s been scary and I have the same worries you mentioned when you were changing careers. But this has litterally calmed my troubled heart, (for today at least). Thank so much!


  38. Fantastic article! I’m an Empath working as a Psychic Medium and Shamanic practioner and everything you’ve said here is correct!
    I moved to Southeast Asia because I could no longer stand the stress and aggression of living in NEW YORK CITY.


  39. wonderful. my gratitude



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